Friday, May 20, 2011

Judgment Day Has Its Benefits, Too

The advent of interleague play this year coincides with that date selected by that crazy Family Radio sect for the world's end. Since the Dodgers having to play in Comiskey Park is indeed a weird--some might say, cataclysmic--event, I can see the point of some of the sect's prognostication. Heck, I'm not really looking forward to this series, either--and if the Dodgers end up losing the first two games, why bother to play the last game anyway, right?

But reading this NYT blogpost, "If World Ends, So Does Alternate-Side Parking", turned my frown upside down:

If the world begins to self-destruct on Saturday, as some religious figures have predicted, there may be a bit of consolation for New Yorkers left behind to perish: alternate-side-of-the-street parking rules would be suspended.

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg on Friday pledged relief from the often-criticized rules, saying it was “official policy” in a doomsday situation. “Alternate-side parking will take on a whole different meaning, actually,” he joked in an interview with John Gambling on WOR-AM (710).

Some Christians believe Saturday is Judgment Day, on which they will be transported to heaven in a process known as the rapture. Those who are not believers will stay behind and will be wiped out in the next five months.

If the end of the world comes to pass, Mr. Bloomberg said, city residents will also not have to worry about returning library books or paying parking tickets. He noted that it would help ease the city’s traffic problems.

17 comments:

Dusty Baker said...

The hilarious thing is that it coincides with my birthday. So if it is truly Judgment Day, my birthday wish is for me to be able to be the judge.

QuadSevens said...

Am I the only one who sees a mass suicide of Family Radio listeners ahead?

DON'T DRINK THE KOOL-AID!!!

LoneLy Fan said...

Oh, good point Q7. Can't believe I didn't see that coming.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

I read about people who quit their jobs just so they could preach Camping's mathematically-challenged word.

Sad. So sad.

Paul said...

*flips off Family radio*

karina said...

@Dusty so basically, you'd want to be God for your birthday if it is Judgement Day?, it's refreshing to realize you're not hard to please ;)

karina said...

btw, Bison got a Twitter account: @TheRealMattKemp, he just announced he'll be the DH tonight, which it's not so good for defense, either...

*sighs*

Fred's Brim said...

So did Macho Man get taken up in a pre-sale rapture?

QuadSevens said...

There's another guy who is spending his retirement money to put up billboards around NYC so that others can be warned.

Dusty Baker said...

@Karina

Yeah, it's not a lot to ask, is it?

Paul said...

@Dusty

I represented Jesus in a immigration case. I'll see if I can put in a phone call for you.

Steve Sax said...

@Paul, you mean Ivan DeJesus?

rbnlaw said...

So let me get this straight: The Mayans are doomed in February of 2012; some Christians are being beamed up to meet God tomorrow; Randy Savage was already judged and found to be awesome, and; DB is buying drinks for those of us left Saturday afternoon.

Check it.

Seriously, if the Rapture hits on Saturday, I'm getting a better deal on a flight to Hawaii fo sho!

And "Rapture" was the worst Blondie song ever.

Dusty Baker said...

Bring on the rapture! Judgment up in dis bish! I'm burrowed in already, drinking beer a d smoking a cigar after a fine lunch. Don't test me.

Spank said...

So long,bishes! It's been real.

Josh S. said...

Wait, so there will be earthquakes and fireballs and blood, but all the holier than thou assholes will be gone?

Seems like a wash.

rbnlaw said...

Post-Rapture: Finally, no traffic on the way home from Vegas!

Oh wait, those people don't go to Vegas, do they?

No traffic on the way home from Branson, MO!!