Tuesday, June 09, 2009

An Innocent Man?

Manny was quoted in the LA Times as saying "I didn't kill nobody, I didn't rape nobody, so that's it, I'm just going to come and play the game."

I want to believe him this time, but the dailies from Manny's upcoming autobiography are giving me pause.


Todd said...

You'd think Scott Boras would have found a publicist who could have persuaded Manny to not work the R-word into his defense.

Delino DeShields, Sr said...

Hey, we can only imagine what Manny WOULD have said without the publicist's assistance.

rbnlaw said...

From Manny via the pulicist:
"Hey fans, sorry I took (insert name of PED here, but we all know it was some sort of anabolic). I was just trying to boost my performance at my job as many of you probably do (but without the aid of a prescription drug). All I really wanted to do was play to the best of my (aided) ability for as long as I could and help my team win games.
Did I cheat? Well, according to the new rules, yes. According to the rules when A-Rod, Clemens, Bonds, Mc Guire, Sosa, and Glaus were taking them, no. Bottom line here is, I did this for you, the fans. See, fans, not just chicks, dig the long ball. Hit home runs, fans go wild, wear your number on a jersey and buy dread-locked wigs to be like you, and you get the big checks. Don't hit the long ball (especially in a bandbox like Fenway) and you'll get cut faster than a patient in a discount plastic surgeon's office (take that, Orel). I love the fans, I like money, I love the long ball; ergo, I took the PED's.
Now that this is all behind me, I'd like to move on and pad my Hall of Fame worthy stats so this team can win some more games.
Thank you."

In a perfect world, we would have heard this last week.