I don't much like Barry Bonds, and I don't think I'll be celebrating his eventual 755th and 756th home runs, no matter how much disruptive airtime ESPN devotes to each and every one of his at bats. At this stage, as I've written prior, I've resigned myself to the inevitability that he will break the record. And I have to laugh at the media circus that surrounds this chase, largely because even at its relatively subdued pace, it is still both unpalatable and tiresome from my perspective.
But I have to get fired up over Bud Selig, who for the last two weeks has tried on multiple occasions to place himself front and center as the key storyline in the final days of the all-time home run total chase. Will he show up when the Giants get to his backyard, Milwaukee? (Yes.) Will he be there for game two of the series? (No. Oh wait, Yes!) Will he be there for night one of the Giants' homestand? (No.)
And today's article, will he be at tonight's game? (Yes.) And what's more, Selig is insisting upon taking as much of the limelight as possible, even spouting off to the press about his impending attendance as if he thinks he's Lindsay Lohan:
"Out of respect for the tradition of this game, the magnitude of the record, and the fact that all citizens in this country are innocent until proven guilty, I will attend Barry Bonds' next games to observe his potential tying and breaking of the home run record, subject to my commitments to the Hall of Fame this weekend. I will make an additional statement when the record is tied," Selig said.
Stop the presses! Selig will make an additional statement soon! What ever will he say? I am breathless with anticipation! The suspense! Is! Killing! Me!!!
Geez, Bud, stop trying to hog the spotlight with your shruggy little shoulders. Leave the spotlight to the man with the swollen head and shrunken testicles, who may be detestable as a personality but at the very least deserves his 15 minutes of fame when he breaks the record. And then, let him and the story and the press coverage disappear.
Hey Bud, while NFL Commissioner Roger Goodall deals with employees engaged in dogfighting, and NBA Commissioner David Stern deals with game-fixing referees, the best move for you is to keep your head down and away from public announcements declaring your proximity to criminals. The few people who are watching this story aren't watching to see what you'll do next; they are watching to see what Barry does next. So shut the heck up, already.