Friday, April 06, 2007

ARE YOU READY FOR THE RETURN OF RUSS E.R.TIZ

The time has come for the Ishtar of the MLB - Russ Ortiz! (As covered by this mild-mannered blogger here). Tomorrow, Ortiz takes the mound against Derek Lowe, in a matchup with a larger Over than most Laker games.

According to MLB.com, Ortiz 3.0 might be an improvement just by being closer to Ortiz 1.0.

It's entirely possible that Giants fans won't notice any change in Russ Ortiz since he left the club after the 2002 season. He has recaptured the delivery he used then -- simply put, bringing his arm back in a semicircle as he prepares to throw. This imparts force and movement on his pitches, which he lacked for the last two seasons as he merely hoisted his arm upward before releasing the ball. Ortiz and the Giants are fully confident that he's no longer the pitcher who struggled to a 5-19 record in 2005-06.

Who knew 1/2*Pi*R^2 was the issue. The last time Ortiz won a game was August 29, 2005 (just as "My Humps" reached its peak), and has since lost the past 11 decisions in a row. SoSG wishes Mr Ortiz the best in his pursuit of a Dirty Dozen.

4 comments:

Orel said...

You're certainly setting the bar low for Russ. Anything less than a shellacking and I'll be disappointed.

Steve Sax said...

I don't get the Cutthroat Island reference (unless it's of a bomb, that is)...

Orel said...

No shellacking. Consider me disappointed.

Delino DeShields said...

The intention was an image of another expensive dud. And I was in a pirate kind of mood.