Dan Haren (5-4, 3.50) vs. Tony Cingrani (2-6, 4.09).
But no, faithful SoSG readers. Today, for this GT, instead I will invoke...the Chewbacca Defense.
Before we discuss today's pitching match, I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, think of Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!
Why would a Wookiee, an 8-foot-tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of 2-foot-tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this GameThread? Nothing. Faithful SoSG readers, it has nothing to do with this GameThread! It does not make sense!
Look at me. I'm a blogger who should be discussing Haren's 1-4 record since his 4-0 start, or at least referencing Cingrani's seven shutout innings against the Dodgers last year (a game we ended up winning late (on a Puig HR; knocking the Giants 10 back...sigh)). Instead, I'm talking about Chewbacca! Does that make sense?
Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in this GameThread commentin' and snarkin', does it make sense? No! Faithful readers of this supposed "best Dodgers fan blog" (Sports Illustrated, 2007), it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, the Dodgers must win tonight's game!
UPDATE: Oh yeah, there's a hockey game on tonight, apparently? Feel free to discuss that game too on this GT (since one can actually watch that game on television).