Monday, June 03, 2013

Puig 56 Puig: Puig 3 vs. Padres, 7p

"Yasiel Puig is here to rock your world."

Stephen Fife (0-0, 7.71) vs. Eric Stults (4-4, 3.86).

Hey, if we can't have a good team, we can at least have an interesting one, no? Today of course marks the major-league debut of one Yasiel Puig, whom Dodger fans have been pining for since he lit up spring training. And since we know phenoms never disappoint, here's what Puig will probably definitely do tonight:

  • four grand slams (sure, he's leading off. He'll find a way)
  • four bat flips
  • four about-to-be burned American flags saved
  • four base coaches saved from attacks by drunken lunatics

Anything less? Total disappointment.

Still not enough drama for you? Don't forget this:

UPDATE:

Oh well.

Dodgers tickets

photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

164 comments:

BJ Killeen said...

Letttttttttt's get ready to rumble!!!

Ain't nobody do drama like the Dodgers do drama. Welcome to Hollywood, Puig!

Orel said...

$42M contract. Batting leadoff in his MLB debut. Pre-game press conference. Welcome to the bigs, Yasiel.

Orel said...

Oh, and Crawford to the DL.

Paul said...

This team is interesting then they start playing baseball.

MR.F said...

Carlos "One-Man-Human-Centipede" Quentin is not in the starting lineup?

Orel said...

No Quentin.

Crawford out for a few weeks.

Elbert shut down.

Fun times!

Spank said...

Fuck Quentin!

FUCK THE PADRES!!

HATE
HATE
HATE
HATE
HATE
HAYE

HAYE?

HEY!!

Dusty Baker said...

How many Puigs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

How much Puig would a Puig chuck if a Puig could chuck Puig?

How many Puigs must a man walk down?

How many Puigs does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Puig?

Dusty Baker said...

When can we get back to talking about Jeter again?

Dusty Baker said...

RBN advocating love on the Twitters. Where's that hateHateHATE, brother? Feel it!

Dusty Baker said...

Puig RF
Punto 2B
Gonzalez 1B
Hernandez C
Van Slyke LF
Ethier CF
Hairston 3B
Cruz SS
Fife P

Dusty Baker said...

Puig RF
Puig 2B
Puig1B
Puig C
Puig LF
Puig CF
Puig 3B
Jeter SS
Puig P

MR.F said...

Wonder how long Human Centipede will get benched for.

Paul said...

Fuck the Padres!

Paul said...

Hit that son of a bitch on the bench.

Spank said...

i keep forgetting about the titters.

Spank said...

not titters but the twitters. i never forget the titters.

Orel said...

NEVER FORGET

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

I'm at the park tonight Loge 110. Stop by and say Puig

Spank said...

FEEL THE HATRED!!!!

BJ Killeen said...

I'm assuming this is the game thread...

Fred's Brim said...

woop!

Fred's Brim said...

throw strikes, stupid

Spank said...

Just a warning. i'm surly like a motherfucker today. I hate the Padres with as much passion as my hate for the Gnats. It's hotter than hell here in the Imperial Valley. My beer got warm from the store to my house. I'm just mad period.

Let's kick some San Diego La Jolla living,contaminated beach walking,third rate mexican food eating,big city music scene wannabe ass!

Spank said...

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Fred's Brim said...

huh?

Orel said...

Off to a great start! Padres have men on first & second, no out.

Spank said...

hedley

karen said...

Vinny..."Fife in a little bit of a jam here"...another Monday night at Dodger Stadium.

karen said...

UJTD

Yaaaaay!!

Spank said...

double play. nice

Fred's Brim said...

wow - nice pickup!

Fred's Brim said...

Spuider-Puig, Spuider-Puig, does whatever a Spuider-Puig does

Orel said...

Puig, baby!

Spank said...

Puigtown

Hideo Nomo said...

Batting 1.000!

Fred's Brim said...

hehe nice

Fred's Brim said...

dammit blue, you better be calling that both ways

Spank said...

Punto noooooo

Orel said...

Ha ha, suck it, AGon's old team!

Spank said...

A Gon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spank said...

he hit that one a ton

Fred's Brim said...

BONK

Orel said...

That was the sweetest swing I've seen in a loooooooooong time.

Fred's Brim said...

Punto wanted to get Puig off the basepaths so he wouldn't get hurt

Fred's Brim said...

another questionable strike

Fred's Brim said...

nice inning, Fife-dog!

Spank said...

quality inning by Barney.

Spank said...

i say we start throwing at heads next inning

Pride of Dong said...

Puig is batting a thousand, #awholenewpuig or #anewbluepuig? Wait, he was forced out at 2nd because we always seem to gidp, crap...

Orel said...

SVS goooooooooone!

Fred's Brim said...

SVS!

Orel said...

Vin just said "ironical"!

Spank said...

Fuck Yeah!!

Fred's Brim said...

can we send Dre to the DL? There has to be something hurt on him

Orel said...

The chip on his shoulder fell off when he got that big contract.

Paul said...

We can hit Stults! A starving man can eat saltines all day.

Fred's Brim said...

Amarista looks teeny out there, like somebody let their kid loose on the field

Fred's Brim said...

i like saltines

Paul said...

I use to love saltines and jelly.

Paul said...

Big crowd to see Puig. Need to give away his bobblehead ASAP.

Fred's Brim said...

ugh - looks like there's about 40 people there tonight

Paul said...

Why arethe Cardinals always fuckin good? Unless they play the Giants in the playoffs of course.

Paul said...

Taiwan still gets love at the Ravine.

Fred's Brim said...

they need to get all of those injury-prone stiffs away from Clayton

Fred's Brim said...

I don't know, Paul. My best guess is that they have the best fans in baseball and they truly appreciate the game.

Spank said...

BEERS ARE COLD! BEERS ARE COLD!

Paul said...

Don't let that midget steal.

Fred's Brim said...

Alexi Amarista is a better porn name than a baseball name

Paul said...

Joe Buck hacked FB's account.

Dusty Baker said...

Drive by comment:

Throw at Quentin wherever he is!

cc: RBNLaw

Fred's Brim said...

#thebeersarecold
#iatethebones

Paul said...

Good start Fife.

Orel said...

The 2013 Range Rover Sport SE: the vehicle of choice for all photographers who work for Bird of Prey magazine.

Orel said...

Hack, Fife!

Paul said...

Throw your bat at Quentin!

Fred's Brim said...

was that bobblehed of Don Sutton or Michael Ontkean?

Fred's Brim said...

Bird of Prey has great centerfolds - sometimes they even show the cloaca

BJ Killeen said...

Puig almost beat that throw.

Dusty Baker said...

Puig sucks!!! Send him down to double A.

Pride of Dong said...

Puig just dropped to .500, time to put him on the DL or option back to isotopes...

Paul said...

Is that Michael Ontkean or Ryan Reynolds?

Orel said...

#puigover150

Paul said...

Vinny, Puig will hit 15 homeruns this week.

Orel said...

I knew you were a BoP man, FB.

Paul said...

You've been Fifed.

Fred's Brim said...

I read it for the articles of course

Dusty Baker said...

Puig Life!

Fred's Brim said...

throw strikes, dumdum

Fred's Brim said...

woop! nice pick

Orel said...

Hernandez with the gun!

Paul said...

Nice play all around.

Spank said...

I've got a hard on for Fife.

Fred's Brim said...

@Spank are you sure it's not a hard on for cold beer?

Orel said...

Hey, we should all celebrate life!

Oh, wait.

Spank said...

That too,FB. And titters.

Paul said...

I always donate to toys for titters.

Spank said...

Holy shit. Michael Ontkean name dropping.

Fred's Brim said...

how is Hernandez in the middle of our lineup? I know Dre's been stinky, but still

Paul said...

Gasol doesn't look like he watching the game as intensely as he should be. Where is Kobe to yell at him.

Fred's Brim said...

don't worry Paul, he'll focus when we get to the playoffs

Paul said...

Keep it up Fifester.

Spank said...

where's Artest? he'll throw at Quentin without a second thought.

Fred's Brim said...

These Padres can't hit me for jack, so I feel like the Mack - Fife Dog

Paul said...

Warning track power.

Paul said...

Why is Cruz still on this team?

Spank said...

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Fred's Brim said...

i feel like if it was Dre in right, that might have been a triple

Fred's Brim said...

Puid airs it out to no avail

Spank said...

limp

Spank said...

puig threw a strike,literally.

Fred's Brim said...

Nice work, kid. I am sorry the bullpen will ruin it for you, but nice job just the same

Fred's Brim said...

and that's my cue to leave
gnite all

Spank said...

later.FB. Good to see you around again.

Steve Sax said...

Hi guys. Keep this lead for me, ok?!

Spank said...

Wow. Relief pitching didn't fuck this up.....yet.

BJ Killeen said...

I'll have another helping of Puig, with a side order of Puig, please.

Spank said...

Prog rocks got me all loco and I didn't see how Puigtown got on base but Punto just singled the mutt to third.

something's cooking.

Spank said...

^rock's

Cc:Dusty

Spank said...

shit.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Spank said...

they are really releasing a new Superman movie,again??!! Fuck, just bow down to Batman and Christian Bale and give up. Something new please.

Spank said...

UJTD!

Spank said...

goddamn! where is everyone. We are actually winning a game here.

come on peeps!!

*raises hands in the air*

*doesn't care*

Spank said...

come on Dre you fucking mutt. do something?

Spank said...

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Spank said...

Meh..llis

Spank said...

6 more outs. can we do this?

karen said...

Like AA Spank...1 step at a time.

5 more guys!!

Spank said...

still 5 more outs

Spank said...

runner on second 1 out for Padres

karen said...

Uh-oh. Not feeling too good over here.

Spank said...

EIGHTH INNING

Doyers 2-1

Spank said...

4 mo

Dusty Baker said...

You're fired, Amarista!

Orel said...

Oh, so the bullpen is going to blow it in the 9th then?

Spank said...

cochito with a hit? OMG

Orel said...

Yup, League warming up. Chalk this one up as a loss.

karen said...

League warming up.

'Nough said.

Pride of Dong said...

Puig power time!

Spank said...

Where's your optimism,peeps?


who am i kidding?Bye bye lead.

karen said...

@Orel...The first visual I got when you said "Chalk this up..." was of the chalked body at a crime scene. :(

Spank said...

ground out power

BJ Killeen said...

Ugh

Paul said...

Booooooooo!

Spank said...

little caballo!!!


BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Orel said...

Nice, Karen. That is...fitting.

Orel said...

One down!

karen said...

As usual, you're right Vin. League's ERA does scare me to death.

BJ Killeen said...

Take League's salary and give it to Puig

BJ Killeen said...

jeez us My cat can pitch better than that.

Spank said...

Nice pitching League. that would have been a strike for Tattoo.

Orel said...

Has League ever had a 1-2-3 inning? In his entire career?

karen said...

Tying run on first.

*Jaws theme pounding in the background*

Orel said...

OMPUIG

karen said...

WOW!!

Spank said...

GODDAMN PUIGTOWN!

WHAT A fucking throw!

Paul said...

Wow!

karen said...

On the fly!

We gotta star!!

Spank said...

Party time!

Pride of Dong said...

#OMpuiG!

Dusty Baker said...

(pugs)

karen said...

Questionable at first.

WTF. I'll totally take it.

BJ Killeen said...

Just proves how wrong Donnie was

Orel said...

PGTUP!