Clayton Kershaw (5-4, 1.88) vs. TBD (?-?, WTF)
As of 10:06p on Friday June 14, that guy up above was the designated opponent to face Dodgers ace (by talent, if not just survival) Clayton Kershaw. Like an unanswered Question, this faceless starting pitcher (a swashbuckling buccaneer, no less) scares the hell out of me.
The Dodgers look to earn a win (heck, we'd even take a gift win) for only the second time in a week. We're worse than the frickin' Angels, for pete's sake. It doesn't take a Sage--or a Rorschach test--to realize that we're in trouble today, face or no face.
UPDATE (Orel): The mystery pitcher is...Brandon Cumpton! Ha ha, what a name! I mean, who calls their kid Brandon?