It brings my family shame.
It used to give me such a high, now I only keep doing it to avoid the lows.
And for almost two years, THERE'S NO RECORD THAT ANY OF IT EVEN HAPPENED!!!
Though this recent on-campus incident did restore my Trojan pride. Meanwhile, us USC faithful wait for a better day, when that 13 year old recruit from Delaware is finally old enough to lead us to the promised land.
Enjoy the cheesiest recruit video ever.
(Also, that is in fact my real eye. For the sake of my anonymity and my family's safety, please don't use CIA facial recognition software on it.)