Monday, May 16, 2011

Game 42 Thread: May 16 vs. Brewers, 7p

Jon Garland (1-2, 3.66) vs. Shaun Marcum (4-1, 2.72).

I don't know if Shaun Marcum is a horror fan, but tonight's matchup should evoke some chilling thoughts. Like an empty, crypt-like stadium on a Monday night (though SoSG Alex Cora and I will both be there, if you're interested in saying hi). Or the home team's lineup, chock-filled with Mendoza-level zombies. Or "ownership" that must feel a little like the undead, itself (or at the very least, cut off at the knees). In fact, only the heartiest of Dodger fans will want to watch this one.

Oh, and Shaun? You've got red on you.

211 comments:

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Dusty Baker said...

Carroll 6
Miles 4
Ethier 9
Kemp 8
Uribe 5
Loney 3
Gibbons 7
Barajas 2
Garland 1

Dusty Baker said...

(cries)

Dusty Baker said...

Are you going to be there tomorrow night? I'm buying my ticket now.

Josh S. said...

BREAKING: I will be in the Ravine tomorrow night. (Not sure where yet...maybe field, maybe starting first base.)

Dusty Baker said...

I'm about to buy a ticket...should I get field level then, Josh, so I can taunt you a second time more easily?

Mr. Customer said...

I will be there tonight, as well as Wednesday.

Mr. Customer said...

...but definitely not Tuesday, so as to avoid the taunting.

Dusty Baker said...

*taunts Mr C from afar*

Dusty Baker said...

This is an interesting phenomenon: the shittier our team is, the more of us go to the games.

Dusty Baker said...

God freaking almight, I need an avatar change.

Mr. Customer said...

Heading out now so I have time to finish of a cauldron of gin and tonic beforehand.

Dusty Baker said...

Have a balthazar of gin for me, Mr C!

Neeebs said...

I just have this vision of MC sitting in his car, parked on the side street near Academy Road, downing a pint of gin from a paper bag.

karina said...

Epale everyone! (wishing some fun for the ones going to the game)

Dusty, why don't you change your avatar, it's not like we're in a winning streak, don't you think? if everything gets better, you'd be the lucky charm :)

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

I will be at tomorrow's game...


in spirit. But not in corporeal reality.

Dusty Baker said...

@Karina

Well, I am magically delicious.

Paul said...

I will be a thousand miles from nowhere.

Steve Sax said...

AC and I are here!

So is Dad, right in front of us!

Steve Sax said...

The never-aging audio animatronic Jim Hill is on the field in front of us too

Steve Sax said...

AC says the batting stance guy is here. He's wearing a shirt that reads "Counsell Wins Championships".

Steve Sax said...

Drop in visit from Mr Customer!

Steve Sax said...

Post every ten minutes, keeping the streak

Steve Sax said...

Guy behind me is hocking a lugy with every sunflower seed shell. Dude, come on.

Steve Sax said...

Uribe signing autographs for food right now

Dusty Baker said...

Looks like a cold night at the Ravine. What's with this weather?

Dusty Baker said...

Urine: will pee for food

Steve Sax said...

Nancy Bea tribute ovation here. Her arms don't appear to be moving, and her smile is frozen. I think they've replaced her with a robot. Poor thing.

Steve Sax said...

Urine pointing into the crowd before going into the dugout. I think he's placing his to-go order

Steve Sax said...

@Dusty: it is fricking cold indeed.

Steve Sax said...

National anthem singer Eric martsoff (sp?) has a flavor flav-sized wristwatch

Steve Sax said...

Apparently he's from Days of our Lives.

Is that still on?

Steve Sax said...

Not a bad anthem, btw

Steve Sax said...

I know the lineup was posted earlier. But I'm listening to it announced now, and I'm sad.

EmoSteveSax

Steve Sax said...

Ethier streak video playing here, I think Michael Eaves narrating

Steve Sax said...

AC says Ethier is dreamy

Dusty Baker said...

get a room, AC!

Steve Sax said...

Kemp is bouncing on the top step like a kid

Or maybe he's trying to stay warm

Dusty Baker said...

On the sofa, Vinny!

Dusty Baker said...

Excellent start!

(cries like a schoolgirl)

Dusty Baker said...

"Little bit on the cool side tonight," Vinny says understatedly.

Dusty Baker said...

Start throwing at people already!

Spank said...

Do I have permission to be a negative asshole here on the GT?

Dusty Baker said...

that is a directive, spanky.

Steve Sax said...

After that catch, AC now thinks James Loney is dreamy

Spank said...

Loney does something right for a change.

Dusty Baker said...

45

Dusty Baker said...

DAMMIT!

Dusty Baker said...

I like how the first mention of throwing at someone, Spanky immediately shows up.

Steve Sax said...

There are so few people here tonight, I can get cell phone reception

Josh S. said...

I always liked Braun. Wish he could be our franchise player, since he's a Valley kid.

Dusty Baker said...

Plus, his mom makes beer.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

I can't hate Braun.

Spank said...

@ Dusty

The fact that i showed up at the same time as that throwing at people comment is purely coincidental.Maybe.

Josh S. said...

Sax, would you say all the talk of the field level sale being a wild success was overblown?

Dusty Baker said...

I was at that game when Princess Fielder stole a base on us. Truly embarrassing.

Spank said...

Why can't Loney pop out like Fielder? Oh. nevermind

Josh S. said...

Oh yeah, beer status: Sammy Summer Ale.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

You won't be mocking him when he becomes our starting 1B next year. Hopefully.

(cries)

Dusty Baker said...

I still haven't had a Sammy Summer yet this year. With the weather, they may need to re-issue the Winter Lager.

Josh S. said...

Shaun Marcum's pitches were crazy hard to hit in The Show.

#LightGamingWhiteGuy

Spank said...

Boooooooooo!

Paul said...

Drink status:Dodger line up very pale ale.

Steve Sax said...

@Josh 7:19p: yeah, there are pockets of people in all field level sections, but it's not packed.

Top deck has 125-150 people, tops

Steve Sax said...

Get it? "tops"?

Dusty Baker said...

"Top deck has 125-150 people, tops"

No need for redundancy, Sax.

Dusty Baker said...

DAMMIT!

Steve Sax said...

Kemp's swings: Not. Even. Close.

Dusty Baker said...

We are back into the rut (to the extent we ever left it) of just having extremely undisciplined plate appearances. Work the count, boys, come on!

Dusty Baker said...

Urine just cracked two ribs swinging at that.

Then he ate them.

Dusty Baker said...

GOD DAMMIT!

Steve Sax said...

Awesome catch there on Urine's shot. Wow.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Well that kinda sucks.

Steve Sax said...

Loney is still god-awful

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Nice work, Gibbons!

Steve Sax said...

Gibbons has climbed the mountain! (Gus Johnson shout out)

Paul said...

Fuck yeah Jay! Oh shit the contact is out.

Dusty Baker said...

Great crowd reaction to Gibbons snagging that fly. Pick him up, guys - he took one for the team. Wow.

Steve Sax said...

Gomez hbp to set up Braun for a 2-run HR

Spank said...

Did I miss something?

Steve Sax said...

Hey AC, quit hogging the fries dude

Alex Cora said...

Get your own fries a-hole. I bought them.

Alex Cora said...

Hey sax whatcha drinking?

Steve Sax said...

A-hole?

That's it, I'm texting the dodger hotline on your ass

Dusty Baker said...

Garlic fries or regular, Sax/AC?

Paul said...

Can't pull for you tonight Moogie. Or at least in this AB

Alex Cora said...

Sax. You watching this game?

Steve Sax said...

AC: beer. Of course

Alex Cora said...

Regular. The garlic ones looked too soggy.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Quit whoring the thread, you two.

Steve Sax said...

Regular, Dusty

Steve Sax said...

Gibbons, batting .083

Steve Sax said...

Now batting sub-.083

Dusty Baker said...

Yeah, the garlic ones are way too soggy.

Alex Cora said...

Sax. Pass the fries.

Dusty Baker said...

I was hoping that knock Gibbons took would magically turn him into a better hitter.

Paul said...

How many more till he can reach .042 in honor of Jackie?

Spank said...

Sharing fries? Are you guys out on a date?

Dusty Baker said...

This is game #42, BTW.

Josh S. said...

Reserve level garlic fries are superior to field level garlic fries.

Dusty Baker said...

They sure make a cute couple, Spanky.

Alex Cora said...

Plus with the garlic fries, Sax gets gassy.

Steve Sax said...

@Dusty: you're talking like you're a lucky charm or something

Paul said...

Kershaw better ask for DNA test on that bobblehead. It looks just like Garland.

Steve Sax said...

Shaun Marcum's no-hitter is still alive through three

Steve Sax said...

@Dusty, the garlic fries are about as soggy as our lineup

Dusty Baker said...

And as stinky.

Dusty Baker said...

I can't imagine what a sassy, gassy Sax may be like. *shivers*

Paul said...

Garlic Fries are for Giants fans!


cc: Josh

Alex Cora said...

Cnote didn't even go out to see if he was ok. Guess he didn't get mccourts check yet.

Dusty Baker said...

At first I thought the trainer had some cool ghetto nickname that I didn't know about.

Dusty Baker said...

Timmeh stank it up tonight.

Because he still hasn't washed his hair, presumably.

Spank said...

Booooooooo!

Paul said...

Looks pretty cold. Pretty sure I saw Mr. C cuddling with a Polar Bear.

Josh S. said...

The Gibbons slo-mo might be the best thing to come out of this season.

Paul said...

Surprised he doesn't look like Carroll after that face smash.

Dusty Baker said...

Wow! Did we just execute a bunt successfully?

Spank said...

@ Josh

What's with the Adam Carolla avi?

David said...

Jamey Carroll and Aaron Miles are the new Rafael Furcal and Juan Pierre.

Spank said...

Hit a homerun fucker!

Dusty Baker said...

Too bad we're still paying for Furcal and Pierre.

Dusty Baker said...

We have as many runs as our opponent!

Spank said...

The first Dodger run i've seen scored since Friday.

(cries)

Dusty Baker said...

Fuck me in the armpit. Loney must sit.

Spank said...

I'm sick of Loney.

Spank said...

Gibbons should have caught that ball with his left nostril.

Spank said...

Date status: Saxy and A.C. are sharing a Dodger Dog, 101 Dalmatian styles.

Paul said...

Nice!

Spank said...

Gibbons is waxing!

Dusty Baker said...

GIBBONS' CONTACTS ARE THE FUTURE OF THIS ORGANIZATION!

Dusty Baker said...

Come on Rod!

Dusty Baker said...

I feel more offensively unrequited than I did on prom night.

Paul said...

Garland needs to get that RBI that was erased last week.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Barajas is more on-and-off than Scrubs.

Dusty Baker said...

Fist, meet wall.

Paul said...

Same as it ever was.

Spank said...

That sucked.

Dusty Baker said...

that blew.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Wait a minute, if he's your coach, then who's my copilot?

Josh S. said...

Gibbons got to second without anyone grounding out or bunting him over?

WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?!

Dusty Baker said...

@Czar

Maybe one of the other people in that trinity thingy?

Josh S. said...

He's not doing horribly or anything, but was there a compelling reason for Garland to bump Kuroda and pitch again today? If he had been chased after two innings on Thursday, he wouldn't be pitching again today.

Josh S. said...

Well, fuuuuuuck me.

Spank said...

Classic. Couldn't get the run in last inning then give up the lead on the next. shit

Josh S. said...

Game over.

Spank said...

URINE!

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Donnie said he wanted to get Hiro some extra rest after a 113-pitch effort.

Josh S. said...

Ah, so it was for Hiro, not Garland. Gotcha.

Hiro always seems to start games I go to.

NicJ said...

Hackers gonna hack.

Steve Sax said...

Fire up the Nancy Bea audioanimatronic!

Steve Sax said...

Weird: I just saw four guys come up to the McCourt box seats, show their tickets, and then unseat two or three people who were sitting there.

Is McCourt timesharing his seats for partial game sessions?

Is he that desperate for cash?

Dusty Baker said...

Their pitcher looks like he's one season removed from hanging out drinking Bud Light Limes on the back of a pickup out in a field on a Saturday night.

Josh S. said...

@Sax: Bud's guests unseated Frank's.

Dusty Baker said...

I would seriously consider booing if I were there. This is fucking pathetic.

Steve Sax said...

By my count, that's 0-for-9 with RISP

Dioner, a .176 batter, for a PH. Good thinking, Donnie!

Josh S. said...

FREE AJ ELLIS!!!

Dusty Baker said...

Your attention please. Now sucking: the Dodgers offense.

Dusty Baker said...

Free Garret Anderson!

Josh S. said...

You know the rule about not using your backup catcher, in case he gets hurt? I think Donnie WANTS that to happen to Dioner.

Dusty Baker said...

Dinner should not be playing at the major league level.

Dusty Baker said...

Everyone cheer up: Yankmes lost again. 6 in a row.

NicJ said...

35,000 with the $30 ticket promotion?

Yikes.

Dusty Baker said...

63% less Scooby Dooing when Sax and AC are both at the game.

NicJ said...

@DB, are the dodgers still considered major league level?

(cries)

Dusty Baker said...

No, Nic, they're not. You have a great point.

Dusty Baker said...

Beard Mode sighting.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

I'm going to just come right out and say it: This Dodger team is worse than David E. Kelly's Wonder Woman pilot.

Dusty Baker said...

Sweet shit-sucking jesus, Czar, say it ain't so.

This is some rim-licking shitbaggery right here, I tells ya.

Steve Sax said...

Stadium rockin' the Deee-lite between innings. Amazing how that song hasn't aged.

Steve Sax said...

Jeez, IBB to Fielder? With none out?

Dusty Baker said...

The groove is most definitely in the house, Sax.

Dusty Baker said...

You can't say Guerrier without saying "rear."

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Time for El Berto.

Dusty Baker said...

Just saw that "team photo" gag, Marla. Nice!

Steve Sax said...

Hey hey hey! It's phat Elbert!

And after one batter, Donnie yanks him.

Steve Sax said...

If Yuniesky Betancourt were playing for us, he'd be the fifth-best hitter on the team.

At .226.

Steve Sax said...

What team photo gag?

Spank said...

We can still win?

Spank said...

We can still win! OMG!

Dusty Baker said...

@Sax

Czar's tumblr page has it.

Spank said...

Knock the shit outta the ball Kemp. fucking mutt

Dusty Baker said...

http://marlasportsczar.tumblr.com/

Dusty Baker said...

Wash yer beard, Matteh!

Paul said...

I think I just saw Mr. C get premptively tazed.

NicJ said...

Crowd seems into it.

Paul said...

Axford is the closer and mascot.

Spank said...

It's all up to Loney.

(cries)

Paul said...

Now time for one of those clutch Loney homeruns.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Loney will hit one out. Bank on it.

Paul said...

Carlos Gomez is annoying.

Dusty Baker said...

(cries like a schoolgirl)

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

He did not hit one out. I hope none of you banked on it.

Paul said...

I swear that was James hitting it on the sweat spot. He doesn't have any pop.

NicJ said...

I think Dodger thoughts is having an emotional breakdown.

Spank said...

This team is fucking pathetic Period

Paul said...

Sweet spot but sweat spot works.

Spank said...

I'm out this bitch.

*throws new beer glass to the floor OG styles*

Paul said...

Barajas stole my slow pitch softball swing

Josh S. said...

How I Met Your Mother finale was much more satisfying.

Dusty Baker said...

@Spank

Did you ever take the price tags off that glass before you broke it OG style?

Dusty Baker said...

Too sad even to take 200.

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