Sunday, May 08, 2011

Game 35 Thread: May 8 @ Mets, 10a

Clayton Kershaw (3-3, 3.38) vs. R.A. Dickey (1-3, 4.62).

Down near the very bottom of my t-shirt pile is this Mets shirt, which I picked up at Shea Stadium years ago by signing up with a fake name* for a free credit card. I didn't want or need another credit card, but a free t-shirt seemed like a good idea, rather than buying a souvenir. So I went and filled out an application with fictional information.

In retrospect, it's pretty ridiculous that obtaining this item was worth all the subterfuge (including memorizing a fictional address and social security number, so that when the attendant takes your completed application, you could recite it back). I don't even like the Mets, and I wasn't all that fond of Shea (any of the four or five times I visited (though I do have this very strange photo from the Shea stands with one of my ex-girlfriends from college, years after we broke up and post-graduation; one of my college roommates is also in the shot (with quite a sweet white man's 'fro, I might add), and today I have no idea why I ended up at this game with this particular ex).

That said, using the same methods of credit card application misdirection, I also procured a Phillies beach towel that I keep in my trunk. It comes in handy sometimes.

But that's not the point here--the point is, in this death spiral of a 2011 season, the time has come for desperate measures. If the Dodgers can pull out a win today and not get swept by this sucky Mets team, I will take this shirt and cut it in half, right down the center, and put it in our pile of rags, destined to dust bookcases and mop up spills for the rest of its frayed days. If the Mets win, I'll return it to the t-shirt pile in my closet, where it probably will still never be worn, but may at least distract any moths from eating any of the t-shirts I really like. (Until the July 4-7 series, that is.)

(*) Not "Steve Sax," fwiw.

51 comments:

Josh S. said...

Must we?

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Carroll SS
Miles 2B
Ethier RF
Kemp CF
Uribe 3B
Loney 1B
Sands LF
Barajas C
Kershaw P

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

FUCK YOU, AARON MILES

Neeebs said...

Why bother?

karen said...

Between the Dodgers and the Lakers I am somewhat suicidal.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

This season is just one big blerg.

dodgerbobble said...

Kershaw hustling to second on the passed ball. If he wants a run, he's gonna have to get it himself.

karina said...

Happy Mother's Day, Karen!

karina said...

Epale everyone!

sorry for not being around to share the heartbreak but I've worked 27 hours in the last two days but it will be ok, they'll win today.

Dusty Baker said...

Reporting in from the Old Shippe in OC:

1) Fuck Man United

2) Fuck the Mets. The Mets? What the hell is Met?

Dusty Baker said...

What the hell is a blerg?

karina said...

King James hustled a run!

Josh S. said...

Dusty, you're with me? (You forgot the c, btw.)

If Ethier goes on to a 27-game hit streak, I'm going to break something.

OF COURSE!

Josh S. said...

FUCKING BULLCRAP.

Steve Sax said...

Bases loaded, no out, and Kemp up

Kemp lines into a 1-2-3 double play

Urine grounds to short on the first pitch for the third out

No runs

Are you fucking kidding me, this team is AWFUL

Steve Sax said...

We fucking SUCK

NicJ said...

You could say we mother fucking suck if you want to be festive.

karen said...

Karina--Thank you!! Happy soon to be an Aunt day to you. In my family Aunts get props, too!!

karen said...

This may be a girlie thing, but I love the pink bats for Mother's Day.

MR.F said...

Wotcher, everybody!

karen said...

Howdy Mr.F!!

karen said...

Andre!!!

Steve Sax said...

SAX GETS AN ETHIER BADGE!!!!

karina said...

Karina gets an Ethier badge too!

Steve Sax said...

oh, and we're leading.

karina said...

@Karen I'm an aunt,Miranda was born on April 28th. She's allright and already a little punk, which makes me a proud auntie.She's weighing more than a baby of her age, has a very healthy appetite and is very hyperactive, she put her hand out of the incubator the day she was born and is constantly trying to take out the wires,not to mention she moves a lot when she hears her parents.

We're praying a lot because she'll be in the incubator for 3 months but she's in a great hospital with very experienced doctors.

karina said...

@Sax I got the Miguel Cabrera double badge, Adrian Gonzalez HR badge and the John Jaso single badge

karen said...

Karina--Congratulations Sweetie!! I think I told you that my daughter was preemie as well. She was 3 pounds and was in the incubator for a month. This was 20 years ago and I know medicine has come a long way since then. Your baby has everything going for her including a family full of love and lots of prayers. I will keep her in my thoughts!

karen said...

O'Connor looks like he's about 12.

Steve Sax said...

gwynn is bad

Steve Sax said...

miles, that was one fucking awful at bat

Steve Sax said...

okay, bring on Battletoad

Steve Sax said...

one out single because loney jumps as well as he can hit

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Blerg.

Steve Sax said...

chente is...broxtonesque here

karen said...

Battletoad doesn't seem to be the answer.

Josh S. said...

Fucking Broxtoad.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

I can see why Chente was preferable to Broxton.

Steve Sax said...

what is up with the blergs? seven of nine?

Steve Sax said...

second out, way to keep speedy reyes planted on third, Andre

Steve Sax said...

SoSG Alex Cora is fascinated by David Wright's tongue.

Josh S. said...

Reyes won't hit nearly that many triples after we gut what's left of the farm to get him.

Steve Sax said...

(that still doesn't explain why AC is wearing eye black, however)

Steve Sax said...

on AC's 55 inch tv, i can feel chente's sweat

Steve Sax said...

DODGERS WIN!!!

Steve Sax said...

Padilla Padilla that's all folks!!!

Josh S. said...

OK, that was nice.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Blerg is Liz Lemon's catchphrase on 30 Rock. It is the equivalent of "fuck dammit."

Josh S. said...

Our reward is four games in Pittsburgh!

Huzzah?

Steve Sax said...

50.

Oh, and Post-Game Thread Up.

Steve Sax said...

@Mr. LA SC: Thanks for the "blerg" definition. I need to start watching that 30 Rock thing.