Thursday, May 01, 2014

Games 28/29 Thread: May 1 @ Twins, 10a/4p

"Red Ten standing by."

"Red Three standing by."

"Red Six standing by."

"Red Two standing by."

"RED PATTERSON STANDING BY."

10 AM: Dan Haren (3-0, 2.03) vs. Mike Pelfrey (0-2, 7.32).
4 PM: Red Patterson? (0-0, -.--) vs. Kris Johnson (0-2, 6.10).

OK, I know Red has the flu and might not pitch today. But how often do we get a pitcher named Red? Cut the chatter, Red Two!

How bad is the Twins' pitching? They have the second-worst team ERA (5.04) in the majors, ahead of only the Diamondbacks' 5.26. (Oh, how we miss the D'bags.) The Dodger bats got healthy at Target Field yesterday, and there's no reason why they can't continue to tee off of Pelfrey and Johnson.

As for the doubleheader, well, these things are a rarity nowadays, so you might as well call in sick and stay in front of the TV today. What's that, you don't have Time-Warner? Neither do I. Get clear, Wedge, you can't do any more good back there!

96 comments:

Hideo Nomo said...

Star Wars? Twins? Didn't you hear Jacen and Jaina Solo were erased from canon this week?

Hideo Nomo said...

Gordon 2B
Puig RF
Ramirez SS
Gonzalez 1B
Kemp DH
Ethier CF
Uribe 3B
Olivo C
Crawford LF
(Haren P)

Hideo Nomo said...

Defensively, I'd prefer Crawford be DH.

Offensively, I'd prefer he sit.

Hideo Nomo said...

"Straighten your helmet, Red Ten! You're making Porkins look good!"

Hideo Nomo said...

Dee Ks looking.
Puig singles.
Hanley pops out.
Puig steals 2nd.

Hideo Nomo said...

AGon walks.
Kemp grounds out.
Nomo sighs.

Hideo Nomo said...

Dodgers shit the bed defensively.

Yes, again.

2-0 Twins.

Hideo Nomo said...

Ethier singles.
Uribe singles.
AAA's Babe Ruth Miguel Olivo up.

Hideo Nomo said...

Olivo walks.
Carl Crawford continues to be useless.
Gordon up.

Orel said...

Wow, more AWOs

Orel said...

In play, run(s)!

Orel said...

Live look-in at Dodgers.com!

Orel said...

It's all up to you, Puig.

Orel said...

I enjoyed my 30-second live look-in. Thanks, MLB.

Hideo Nomo said...

Patient Puig is patient.

Hideo Nomo said...

Monday Steinered that double.

Orel said...

Dee & Puig doing good baseball stuff! Dodgers lead 3-2.

Hideo Nomo said...

Just you and me holdin' it down, Orel.

Orel said...

Red Ninety standing by

Orel said...

AGon & Kemp!

Hideo Nomo said...

Red Stripe standing by!

Hideo Nomo said...

I like when Kemp hit ball good.

Orel said...

URBIE!

Hideo Nomo said...

DON'T SUCK AGAIN, CARL!

Orel said...

Oh shit, Pelfrey has plenty left in the tank!

Hideo Nomo said...

What did I tell you about listening to Scout?

Orel said...

But she was right about Boo Radley.

MR.F said...

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Hideo Nomo said...

Epale, Mr. F!

Hideo Nomo said...

Nothin' doin' that inning.

Orel said...

Mr. F with the drive-by!

MR.F said...

I feel weird trying to hang out here again

Orel said...

Shit. Now 5-4.

Orel said...

You know you're welcome here anytime, Mr. F.

Hideo Nomo said...

Barf. Barf. Barf.

Hideo Nomo said...

No way Haren gets out of this.

Hideo Nomo said...

Challenge!

Hideo Nomo said...

Happy to be wrong!

Orel said...

What's that, the second challenge we've won?

Hideo Nomo said...

Floodgates reopened. 8-4 Dodgers.

spank said...

No time for committee.

Orel said...

Floodgates? Rivergates?

BJ Killeen said...

I would love to smoke these two games, then head to FL and sweep there. That's my dream and I'm sticking to it.

Orel said...

Smoke these games? While Chris Perez is pitching?

Orel said...

Win!

Hideo Nomo said...

Make Cold Party!

Hideo Nomo said...

What the hell am I supposed to do for three hours?

Oh yeah. Work.

Steve Sax said...

What do we do now in this GameThread?

Hideo Nomo said...

Post lineups, that's what!

Gordon 2B
Puig RF
Ramirez DH
Gonzalez 1B
Kemp CF
Van Slyke LF
Uribe 3B
Turner SS
Butera C
(Patterson P)

Hideo Nomo said...

OH SNAP!

Fred's Brim said...

haha oh shit Scott got TOLD!

Hideo Nomo said...

What the hell did we ever do to Tim Welke?

QuadSevens said...

Let's go Red! Help our boys in blue!

Steve Sax said...

Already down 1-0 through 1.

karen said...

I didn't get to follow any spring training so I don't know anything about Patterson. Should I feel this worried or am I over reacting??

karen said...

I'm really enjoying Orel in the booth. Charley is going to take some time.

Steve Sax said...

101 pitches for Johnson. Let's break through here, A-Gon

Steve Sax said...

Johnson knocked out on AGon's single. First and third for Kemp, one out!

karen said...

Get in touch with your inner Beast here Matty.

Steve Sax said...

Dammit, Matt. You gotta start hitting.

karen said...

Donnie has to decide between the lesser of two evils here...Leave Red in or bring in League. Either way sucks.

karen said...

Uribe brings in SVS. Good Guys tie the game at 1.

Steve Sax said...

Come on Pacoster! Leadoff walk in the eighth of a 2-2 game

Steve Sax said...

Paco gives up a single. Two on, none out

BJ Killeen said...

We look stinky.

Steve Sax said...

gimme a double play, baby

Steve Sax said...

Wilson gets two Ks to get out of a first and third mess. Way to go, Beard!

Steve Sax said...

dammit Matt. You were up 3-0 and ground out, to go 0-for-5 with a GIDP. Come on!

Steve Sax said...

SVS and Uribe both K. Brutal.

Steve Sax said...

ump is squeezing Jamey Wright here

Steve Sax said...

what's up with this? (from MLB.com GameDay)

Minnesota Twins center fielder Aaron Hicks left the game due to an injured head.

Steve Sax said...

Jamey Wright gets Kubel to K, Escobar (PH) to ground out.

Extra baseball!

Steve Sax said...

It looks like I'm the only one watching this game

Steve Sax said...

.170 BA Justin Turner up to leadoff in the tenth.

Steve Sax said...

Turner is 0-for-3 to date

Steve Sax said...

Turner grounds to third, and is now batting .167.

Steve Sax said...

Butera: one pitch, one out. He's 0-for-2 and is batting .214.

Steve Sax said...

Dee goes two pitches to get his out (out #3). Dee is 0-for-5 today

Steve Sax said...

Dodgers: 2-for-10 with RISP

Steve Sax said...

Mauer with a one-out single in the 10th. Wright still pitching, at 30 pitches.

Steve Sax said...

SVS HR to leadoff the 12th!!!

Paul said...

I heart Scott Van Slyke.

Paul said...

I heart Drew Brrrruera or whatever.

BJ Killeen said...

Let's hold this lead boys.

Steve Sax said...

First and second, none out in the bottom of the 12th. Kenley pitching. 4-2 Dodgers.

I am worried.

Steve Sax said...

Criminy. All of those pitches were in the zone, ump! Kenley is getting fucked here.

Bases loaded, none out.

Steve Sax said...

Kenley has thrown 21 pitches, 20 of which have been cutters.

Steve Sax said...

Mauer sac fly makes it 4-3. One out.

Steve Sax said...

Plouffe flies to right. Two out.

Paul said...

Torture. One strike away.

Steve Sax said...

In play, out(s)

Paul said...

We make * faints*

Hideo Nomo said...

Kenley needs a fucking break. Jesus.

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

We make party long time!!!

Neeebs (The Original) said...

Yee Hawwww

Steve Sax said...

post-game thread up!