Why Can't We All Get A Lobe?

I can't make this shit up. Backup backup backup journeyman catcher Miguel Olivo got so steamed during a minor league game, he fought with Dodgers prospect Alex Guerrero in the dugout and bit off part of Guerrero's ear:

Dodgers prospect Alex Guerrero was the victim Tuesday of a Mike Tyson-like ear chomp by triple-A teammate Miguel Olivo, according to Guerrero’s agent, Scott Boras.

Guerrero, a Cuban infielder who is in the first year of a four-year, $28-million contract, was scheduled to undergo plastic surgery to reattach the part of his ear that was bitten off by Olivo in a dugout altercation, Boras said.

“This is a first for me,” said Boras, who has represented players for more than three decades.

The alleged incident occurred in Salt Lake City, where the Dodgers’ Albuquerque-based affiliate dropped a 7-4 decision.

Olivo became steamed after his team gave up a stolen base in the seventh inning, according to Boras. Olivo blamed Guerrero for failing to tag the baserunner in time, the agent said. A video posted on the Albuquerque Isotopes’ website showed Olivo attempting to charge Guerrero during a pitching change later in the inning. The players exchanged words as they walked off the field at the end of the inning.

“Guerrero was in the far end of the dugout,” Boras said. “He went to the front to get his bat and helmet to hit. As he walked across, Olivo decked him.”

Ned Colletti, of course, was all over this like Inspector Clouseau:

"We're still looking into it," he said. "We don't condone it. I don't think it's constructive. There will be disagreements, but beyond that it goes over the line."

Unreal.

Get well soon, Alex! And don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, Miguel!