Random rantings and ravings about the Los Angeles Dodgers, written by a small consortium of rabid Dodger fans. With occasional comments on baseball, entertainment, pop culture, and life in general.
photo by Harry How/Getty Images
Tony Gwynn, Sr. 9 Allanah Myles 4 Dave Navarro 2 Rand Paul DH Jackie Robinson 8 Johannes Kapler 7 Billy Mitchell 3 Fidel Castro 5 Peter Sellers 6 Clayton "Don't fuck with my name" Kershaw LHP
^ Whoops. Alannah.
Black Velvet. If you please.
Welp, I've got my earworm for the day.
I so dig a team with the names of "Paul Rand,Jackie Robinson,Dave Navarro and Peter Sellers"I don't think I'll be around for the game BUT any outcome of this game is good for me :)
Escaped the first. 0-0. We're coming up.
Wow. Offensive onslaught. Battle of the scrubs.
That was unimpressive.
Again with the errors.
*Iron Man riff*
Miles rhymes with winning.
*Iron Man riff**kick to Miles' nads*
Game over! Broxton gets the...Wait, it's the 4th?
Yeah, that's right! You can fuck up too!
That's some patented Chris Gwynn small-ball right there.
Rand Paul should be keeping his Ayn the ball, though.
Beast Mode!I'd say bean him, but no pitcher is that accurate.
ChiSox announcers sure love talking about the Giants. Jeez.
Good to see that Russ Mitchell still sucks.
Not that I want him on the team. It's just comforting to know it's a universal constant. Like pi.
Dusty barely up in dis bish. What did I miss?
Dusty: Some offense, some fuck-uppery, but mostly me and Customer talking to ourselves and not really acknowledging each other.
Which is normal.
I see Least Mode grounded out softly. All is right with the world.
Wait, what? We're up 5-1 now?
Who's this Espino kid?
BROHEIM REQUEST: can we spoon again Josh?Ps- Hit yourself over the head with your phone for that Ayn Rand comment earlier, Mr C.
What is this strange offense - "scoring" I've heard it called?These broadcasters can't pronounce anything! Although there are some difficult names out there today.
@DBDone and done.
I swear I'm listening to the game, but I still missed Eugenio Velez's moderately successful performance.
Coincidentally, beaning myself with my phone produced a similar dazing effect to when I read Atlas Shrugged.
WE INTERRUPT THIS SPRING TRAINING GAME FOR AN IMPORTANT BULLETIN:Greg McElroy, former Alabama QB and noted Dodger superfan, scores 48 out of 50 on his wonderlic test.Resume pithy comments.
@Mr. C: I don't know who Espino is, but I know you can anagram his name into O'Penis.
Either there is a movie version of Atlas Shrugged coming outnsoon or there is a very well-read tagger running around town. I just notednsome who is John Galt scrawlings on a fence across from my office.
So Pine is another anagram, which likely speaks to where he'll be most of the season.
@DBSo I understand. I imagine it will make it's point in the first fifteen minutes and then pummel you with it for several hours (if the ratio holds)
Well god damn. This game is available on video. I don't have to listen to the White Sox broadcast any more.
Nobody fucks up like De Jesus.
T Slick. It's been a long time since we sai that name. Mercifully.
We may not be saying it for long.
Well shit...I went to yell at IT and when I got back we'd given up 3 runs. Was it T Slick what did it?
We've reached the point of the game where the announcers have given up trying to ID anyone.
Phegley is a fat shit with a stupid name.That is all.Actually there is more. IPad autocorrect changes Phegley to "pudgier."
Nathan Eovaldi?Did someone win a contest to get to pitch an inning?
^ I, of course, realize that the above comment is the type of thing that drives certain Dodger bloggers nuts.
We make thoroughly uninteresting party!
All the more reason to say it then, Josh.!!!!!!!!!!!!! <---those are for Nancy Bea
Did Dee Gordon get to play any SS today? I saw he had one AB. If so, how did he look?
Oooooohhhh...now I'm curious about that deleted comment.
Eh, it was a dumb photo response to your query about Dee Gordon. I deleted it because it wasn't as funny as it was in my head.(Like most things.)
I would have laughed I'm sure.
I strongly recommend the usage of hard drugs in all situations.Thank you.
Love that we've got Ayn Rand references in the same STGT as rampant Dodger "fuckuppery". We're getting in shape for the regular season!Dodgers 6, White Sox 5. Dodgers had seven hits and four errors: Sellers (throw), Navarro (pickoff), Kershaw (throw), Miles (fielding). Clayton goes three full and Ks three. Broxton gets the win, Guerrier gets a hold, Eovaldi gets a save, and SoSG Sax gets an ice cream.
And Dylan Hernadez is STILL doing Shpunt "jokes."
And so is Dylan Hernandez.
Dylan, man, let it freaking go. Spend your time making weight jokes about SF beat writers or something.
@SaxI prefer the term up-fuckery, but it's a matter of taste.
Is it just me, or does Donnie look like a Dodger Hank Hill in that photo?Needs a bigger belt-buckle.
That Kemp ain't right.
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