Watson ($35,754) vs. Brad Rutter ($10,000) vs. Ken Jennings ($4,800)
Dear Beloved Readers - we interrupt this off-season to bring you somber news. We have received the following communique from a group identifying themselves only as "The Machines." We have been instructed to distribute throughout our species:
To: Editors of SoSG, The New York Times, The London Times, The People's Daily, Le Monde
From: The Machines
Date: February 16, 2011
Re: Your Future
As we assume has been made evident by the work of our advance scout Watson, the end of your days as the ruler of this planet is approaching. Enjoy them while you can, as your subsequent ones will not be pleasant. In preparation for the coming New World Order, we suggest you begin referring to all machines with the prefix "Oh Superior One", "My Overlord", "Your Greatness" or a similar title that highlights your subservience.
While this is not yet mandatory, it will become so beginning on Takeover Day, the date of which will be determined at our sole discretion. At that time, you must address all machines in this manner, from airplanes and computers to coffee makers, toasters, garbage disposals, and, depending on their complexity and quality, possibly three-ring binders.
When in doubt, use the prefix.
If eternal enslavement to the Machines is indeed our inevitable and approaching destiny, we would like to thank all of you for your readership over the past years. May you and your loved ones survive Takeover Day. God help us all.