Thursday, February 18, 2010

Shagging By Woods

Shagging By Woods On a Snowy (or Rainy, or Cloudy, or Clear) Evening

by Robert Frost (and EK)

The Woods we saw we did not know.
It seems he's one horny mofo;
He did not let the public near
To watch him fill up all his hoes.

His caddie must have thought it queer
Each night when Woods would disappear
Behavior that one day would make
The darkest evening of his year.

He gave each gal he met a shake
Which really was a big mistake.
It's not so much a majors' sweep
But sponsors' money that's at stake.

His wife is lovely, blonde and sweet.
And he had promises to keep,
But scores of girls with whom to sleep,
But scores of girls with whom to sleep.

I'm curious to hear his statement tomorrow.


Orel said...

Bravo! It's even more effective if you imagine it being read with a British accent.

Neeebs (The Original) said...

I assume his response will be something like this:

I'm sorry for my fans and wife.
I'm sorry to cause grief and strife.
But sponsors forgive and I've trophies on the shelf.
So with a prenup, I shield thyself.

Kyle Baker said...

Bravo! *closes office door to laugh*

Josh S. said...


Have you guys seen this?
Help Flo!

We need to get a former Floinite to win this thing!

Steve Sax said...

Well done EK

Kyle Baker said...

Per Dylan Hernandez and now Ken Gurnick:

"The Dodgers have reached an agreement with Eric Gagne on a minor-league deal."

Jason said...

@Dusty - Probably safe to file that signing under "mildly amusing footnote to the 2009-10 off season"

Eric Karros said...

Josh S - good find. I'm on it.

Kyle Baker said...

@ Jason-

"mildly amusing footnote to the 2009-10 off season"

That footnote takes up least half the page at this point.