Sunday, April 03, 2011

Game 4 Thread: April 3 vs. Giants, 5p

"I make this work."

Hiroki Kuroda (-, -.--) vs. Barry Zito (-, -.--).

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For legal reasons they're calling it a "sleeved blanket," but we all know better: It's Snuggie Night at Dodger Stadium! While Dodger fans swaddle themselves in fleecy goodness, we ask the hard questions. Is it "Kershaw and Bills, and take your blood pressure pills" (courtesy of SoSG Sax), or can Kuroda prop up the back end of the rotation?

Meanwhile, Zito is making his first start of the season after being T-boned in West Hollywood on Wednesday. We hope he's all right, but he was driving a Bentley, so, like, our sympathy can only go so far.

Series split or 3-1 series win? Sleeved blanket or Snuggie? Don't be fooled; Dodger fans want the real thing.

Sax's note: I will be there this (early) evening, for my first game of the season. Even better, I'll probably be even more warm and more snuggable than last year! Please drop me a line in this chain if you are down at field level, third base side...I'll be the one in the mustard-stained Dodgers poncho.

183 comments:

Steve Sax said...

Josh S, Dusty: Hope to see you guys tonight. Dusty knows the coordinates.

Josh S. said...

Many Bothans died to bring us this information.

Kyle Baker said...

Barry Bonds: These aren't the 'roids you're looking for.

Kyle Baker said...

Not the first time Zito has been " T-boned in West Hollywood," I presume.

karina said...

enjoy the game Josh,Dusty and Sax!

for the rest of you, try to comment since I'm gonna miss the game, I'll be working on a film all night long. Your comments and GameDay make me feel like I didn't miss the game :)

Headless Horseman said...

Where is my boy Padilla at? Head hunters for life.

Headless Horseman said...

And of course afterlife....

Dodgerbobble said...

Dusty - Thaty's hilarious.

Dodgerbobble said...

You guys need to model the snuggies...faces blurred of course.

Kyle Baker said...

Excellent idea, Dodgerbobble. I will adopt the Loney/snuggie pose for a picture tonight and send it to the marketing and outreach team at SoSG for processing.

Kyle Baker said...

I think i'm going to look like one of those Dodger gnomes wearing that sleeved blanket.

Or like a short, portly, drunken Gandalf.

MR.F said...

This Jimbo loled at DB's 2:30 comment.

Kyle Baker said...

I had no idea Melkey Cabrera had gone from Bravos to Royales this season. I almost feel sorry for they guy.

Kyle Baker said...

Furcal, SS
Carroll, 2B
Ethier, RF
Kemp, CF
Uribe, 3B
Loney, 1B
Barajas, C
Thames, LF
Kuroda, P

Kyle Baker said...

Nor did I realize that Carlos Santana was playing 1B now (he made his debut at the position today, initiating a triple play for the Tribe).

Kyle Baker said...

Heading out, lasses and lads. Have a great GT! Looking for a lot of snark and Hate from you all (especially Karen - I can feel the Hate building in you).

Dusty out.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Don't tell me what to do.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Nevermind, you can tell me what to do.

spank said...

@ Karina

Porno?

karen said...

@Dusty 3:48...You know my HATE well. Have a great time along with Saxy and Josh at the yard tonite and I'll do my best to not disappoint you on the GT end.

Paul said...

Okay let's take 3 of 4 from these chumps!

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

"Tell us about their defense, Bobby."
"They were terrible."

Jeez, Bobby, tell us what you really think.

NicJ said...

i wish Huff really did die.

douche

spank said...

I just called,to say,I hateHateHATE you!

NicJ said...

blind hate

NicJ said...

Thank you Dr. Valentine.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Siddown, Voodoo Child!

karen said...

I don't want to hear about all the personality in the gnat clubhouse. They are a bunch of mofos.

NicJ said...

^Word

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Brian Wilson has the personality of a goat.

No wait, he has the facial hair of a goat. He has the personality of Gary Busey.

spank said...

^I second that.

NicJ said...

Whats up with the dick duster on Zito?

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Zito looks like he's shooting a film in Chatsworth.

spank said...

It's probably the film Karina is working on.

NicJ said...

MSB MSB MSB!!

spank said...

Yeah Yeah

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Jesus Christ, ESPN, what's with the fucking camera angle? I had no clue if it went past Huff or not.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Oh wait, we scored! Yay!

NicJ said...

That car accident earlier this week was nothing.
Get Ready for a beatdown Zito.

karen said...

Zito maybe feeling the effects of his Wednesday night drive? Good.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

MATT FUCKING KEMP

spank said...

KEMP MOFO'S!!!!

NicJ said...

FUCK YESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!


ZOMBIE NATION!!!!!!!!

karen said...

BISON POWER BABY!!

Alex Cora said...

Oh baby! What a hit! Good job kemp!

NicJ said...

Im already tired of loney.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

A double short of batting for the cycle that inning.

spank said...

I am really hating on Ethier right now.

NicJ said...

shit

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Fuck you, fatty.

karen said...

Who else is tired of listening about the weight this fat ass lost in the off season?

spank said...

I'm done with these announcers.

NicJ said...

what is burrell staring at?

karen said...

Oh I'll bet the gnat fans are going to hate having to listen to Tommy!

spank said...

I want moreMoreMORE runs

Paul said...

Happy we got off to a good start. I hope that wasn't it.

spank said...

Was going to listen to Tommy but Simple Man is playing on the radio.

spank said...

I want to connect Bobby Valentines face with my fist.

karen said...

Siddown fat ass.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Hiro's mowing them down.

spank said...

Is it too much to ask for another HR from Bison? Hells No!

karen said...

How long is Wilson going to let that thing get??

NicJ said...

Come on guys!!

This is Zito we are facing here.

spank said...

Quick game.already the fifth.

karen said...

You just know that there really is stuff living in that beard.

spank said...

There are hobbits living in that beard.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Holy shit, Kuroda, that was nasty.

NicJ said...

shit, here we go.

karen said...

I'm not liking this.

Paul said...

Come on Hiro.

Paul said...

Fuck.

karen said...

Well SHIT!

NicJ said...

here comes the two out madness

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Okay, not bad.


NOW SCORE SOME FUCKING RUNS.

karen said...

Zito's serving up effing batting practice pitches...let's shake something loose Dodgers.

NicJ said...

Uribe owes us a run.

karen said...

I thought we were going to get through the night without having to look at Jon Miller.

spank said...

I bet Dusty and Josh are doing the wave. They won't cop to it though.

NicJ said...

can kemp carry this team a little more?

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Zito walked a lefty, so you know he's falling apart.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Is that Bryan Cranston behind the on-deck circle?

Paul said...

Come on Kemp!!

Paul said...

Damn.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Shit, it's up to Urine.

NicJ said...

Two out.
Two on.

Third out up to bat.

Paul said...

Okay Uribe let's see that clutch hitting.

NicJ said...

this lineup is fucking horrible.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

I imagine Dusty's starting a "UR-INE" chant right now.

Josh is likely shaking his head, grinning ear to ear.

Paul said...

If Burrell hits a homerun I am kicking in my tv.

karen said...

Uribe doesn't feel like a Dodger to me. He still feels like a gnat. I hope he does something real soon to make me feel different.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

I'm holding you to it, Paul.

NicJ said...

this one is over.

NicJ said...

enjoy over .500 while it lasts.

karen said...

I fucking HATE Pat Burrell.

Paul said...

Fuck!!!

I watch the Dodgers too much so I kicked and missed

NicJ said...

why was Thames playing in center?

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

This ain't going so well.

karen said...

Kuroda is coming undone. Get him outta there Donnie!

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Remember when we were up 3-0? That was fun.

spank said...

Just like Ethier,Paul.

spank said...

I'm about to come undone.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Thames scared the shit out of me with that catch.

But don't tell Slimers.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Wait, I shouldn't call him that. It's disrespectful towards the Ghostbusters character.

karen said...

Yeah, I thought Thames looked a little rough around the edges on that catch.

Paul said...

So anyone feel optimistic about a run or two soon?

Steve Sax said...

Dammit, cel service here is soooooooo bad. Will have to combine thoughts for the late At-Game Recap.

Paul said...

It would be nice to see James get a double.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Hey, Loney actually did something.

Paul said...

I'll take it.

Still dont feel optimistic.

Paul said...

A bunt? With these two slow ass guys?

spank said...

Why the fuck is Barajas bunting?

Paul said...

Okay can we call the bunt off now?

spank said...

Mattingly is Torre 2.0

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

SUCK IT, SIMERS!

SUCK IT, VOODOO CHILD!

karen said...

YES!!!!

spank said...

AUBREY! AUBREY! AUBREY!

Paul said...

Ha ha!!!

karen said...

Huff looked like a little girl going after that.

Paul said...

Oh boy Miles.

Paul said...

I'll take that too!!

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Holy shit, Miles with the pinch-hit RBI.

spank said...

OMG!! Multiple Runs. I must be dreaming.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Nice hitting, Raffy!

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

See, this is how you know Wilson's beard is fake. There's no goddamn way two guys on the same team grow out the same fucking beard.

Paul said...

They have just had to keep razors away from Romo ever since Manny jacked him up last year.

Paul said...

Watch for Huff to have a beard soon...

spank said...

Maybe Huffs beard will have a better chance of catching fly balls.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Thanks for joining the team, Andre.

Paul said...

I hope Kuo's arm isn't bugging him. He looks a bit off.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

I imagine Simers was chuckling like Dr. No, then realized it's Gwynn in left now and muttered a quiet fuck under his breathe.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Are they playing Immigrant Song? I thought that went to Chicago with DeWitt.

Paul said...

Jeez come on Kuo!

karen said...

HCK is making me very nervous.

karen said...

Big K for HCK

Josh S. said...

Home. Kid was getting squirrelly. Heard the offensive explosion in the car. Now praying for a third out.

spank said...

Karen's favorite,Belt,on deck.

karen said...

Guerrier not exciting me much.

I may need to break out the Xanax.

Paul said...

Dodgers are still acting squirrelly at the ravine.

Paul said...

Fuckin walks.

spank said...

D.U.M.B.

Orel said...

Guerrier walkin' the tightrope, gets out of it!

karen said...

Thank you King James!

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Shit that was rough.

Orel said...

After two walks, Tejada swings at the first pitch. Hey Miguel, that's what we do!

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Do the ESPN guys know that Tejada is a notorious free-swinger? Guy never takes a pitch.

Josh S. said...

TeHA-HA!da.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Tejada's career-high in walks was 66 when he was with Oakland. Keep in mind that Billy Beane rode his ass about taking pitches. He never hit 50 after leaving the Athletics.

Orel said...

Guerrier making sure Broxton gets a save opportunity. How nice.

spank said...

I remember the Dodgers Billy Bean back in the day eating dirt while sliding into third base. '89 or '90.?

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Broxton was already at the infield when they started playing Iron Man. Get on the ball, stadium music guy.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Aw shit.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Fack!

Orel said...

This must be doing wonders for Broxton's confidence.

MR.F said...

WTF Broxton.

spank said...

Damn you Brox!

karen said...

Oh crap. Belt yourselves in everyone, this could get bumpy.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Nice work by Loney.

Orel said...

Love seeing Broxton hustle to the bag.

karen said...

Out 1. Ok Brox, you can do this.

spank said...

Even if he makes the save,I'm done with Brox.

Cliff Beefpile said...

C'mon, Brox! One more!!!

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

WE MAKE PARTY!

Steve Dittmore said...

whew

spank said...

Bittersweet

karen said...

WE MAKE THE PARTY!!!

Cliff Beefpile said...

Huzzah!

Orel said...

This calls for a Guinness.

Paul said...

We have waited 50 plus long years but we finally get to hand the World Champion San Francisco Giants their first series loss!!

Now get the the fuck outta here.

spank said...

Sorry peeps but I have ZERO confidence in Brox hence no party for me. But I will honor the Dodgers win.

karen said...

@Paul...What a great way of looking at our 3 and 1 record!!

karen said...

I'm with you Spanky about Brox. He's scaring the shit out of me.

spank said...

When it's on the line,i do not want to see Brox walking up to the mound. I really don't.Something must be done.Seriously.

MR.F said...

Broxton just might give This Jimbo a heart attack.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

So who do we replace him with? Kuo? The guy with Elmer's holding his elbow in place? Jansen? The guy who was a catcher two years ago? Gurrier? Career set-up man?

NicJ said...

At least Brox is limiting damage this year. Last year he probably would have folded after that leadoff HR.

NicJ said...

we should probably wait till he actually blows a save to get the pitchforks and torches.

spank said...

@ Mlasf
Do you just want to settle for Brox? We got a whole season to come up on someone or mold a player. You know your baseball.You are not gonna tell me you are totally confident on Brox? We got time.But in my opinion Brox is not the answer. I'm tired of his shit,basically.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

So far Broxton has given up two home runs. That's basically been it. He hasn't fallen apart at the seams. He hasn't nibbled corners and walked guys like no tomorrow. It's easy to say he should go, but harder to say who should replace him. Let him close until shit actually hits the fan.

Orel said...

If the Dodgers are in contention this season and Broxton falters, I can see Ned trading for Papelbon.

Josh S. said...

We scored 7 runs. That alone is cause for celebration.

Sure, we've got problems, but the Giants must have worse problems if they lost to us three times. Suck it, Jints! (PS...please keep Huff in right.)

Paul said...

I really think Broxton will hurt us in the defense of our World Championship next year.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

200

Steve Sax said...

201! Home from the Stadium, back in wifi range!!!