Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Five Heroic Liquids

...presented without comment:

5. WD-40
4. Sampar Prodigal Pen
3. Goo Gone
2. Astroglide
1. Scotch
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Posted by Orel at 6:00 AM
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20 comments:

Jimbo said...

I'd rank Goo Gone over Astroglide. It's gotten me out of some sticky jams.

12/30/2009 7:10 AM
TD said...

I would have to agree with scotch being number one. Having a bottle of Johnny Walker Black makes the others unnecessary.

12/30/2009 8:16 AM
Josh S. said...

Ah, that crazy night in '96 when I ended up going through all five of these.

12/30/2009 8:18 AM
Wes Parker in Iowa said...

"Ice was meant to be surrounded by scotch. Two-thirds of the world agrees with that fundamental law of nature."
-- Bernie Lincicome of the Rocky Mountain News

12/30/2009 8:51 AM
Kyle Baker said...

I can't believe Colt 45 was left off this prestigious list.

12/30/2009 9:03 AM
Jimbo said...

Bernie is wrong!

Why would anyone want to water down their scotch? Maybe a drop of water to open up the aromas and flavors . . . but ice? Leave that to that Vanilla rapper.

12/30/2009 9:25 AM
Greg Zakwin said...

Goo Gone?

I'm not gonna even ask.

12/30/2009 9:34 AM
Nostradamus said...

For a moment, I thought the rankings might be in order of use, but in any scenario that all five are required, the Goo Gone should come last.

12/30/2009 10:19 AM
MR.F said...

I am unfamiliar with 2-4, but 1 and 5 are very useful for me.

12/30/2009 11:03 AM
Brandon said...

The other day I was at Ralphs and the guy behind me had only two items. Johnnie Walker Red and Astroglide.

Are there two items you can purchase that give away your night better than that?

12/30/2009 11:10 AM
John G said...

goo gone. all of the rest can be replaced with some other liquid, but goo gone rules them all.

12/30/2009 11:22 AM
Kyle Baker said...

@Brandon-

Good points. Here's a somewhat related true story from my holidaze thus far:

It took about 45 trips to the grocery store(s) to do all the xmas dinner shopping I needed (and was required) to do. My last straggling items: Mr and Mrs T Spicy Bloody Mary Mix, fifth of Ketel One, powdered sugar, marshmallows, white wine vinegar, summer savory herb, RealLemon, Advil Liqui-gels. As I was checking out, another customer remarked that all those things made it seem as though I was seeking to make the world's worst cocktail.

12/30/2009 11:42 AM
Kyle Baker said...

RB-

Having a seasonal adult alcoholic beverage and watching your Gunners right now. Come on, Pompey!*

*Also, come on my fantasy players from Arsenal.

12/30/2009 11:52 AM
Kyle Baker said...

I think I used all these liquids on Jeff Kent's sister a few years back.

12/30/2009 12:59 PM
Paul said...

What are 5 things that will get you out of any actual or metaphorical jam?


Still where is the duct tape?

And why did the disconcerting statement "I like my scotch neat but by astroglide dirty." pop into my head?

12/30/2009 1:48 PM
Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

I think Coca-Cola is more heroic than SamPar. Anything can get rid of acne, but only Coca-Cola has the smooth rich taste that quenches thirst like nothing else.


Now I wait for my money.

12/30/2009 4:04 PM
Neeebs (The Original) said...

Two words from the missing liquid list:

Krazy Glue

12/30/2009 5:30 PM
Fred's Brim said...

MLASF, I am with you on the Coke

12/30/2009 6:13 PM
LisaLewis-Neal said...

Dusty Baker character is hilarious - especially about Jeff Kent's sister. But I want to know, who - oh, so arrogantly, calls him - or her-self KempKershaw?!?

Puh-leese!!!

12/30/2009 11:22 PM
rbnlaw said...

Can't argue with #1. Although Beer would've been a close second.

@DB: sorry my Gunners disappointed you. Should've scored 6.

12/31/2009 6:23 PM

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