Monday, August 27, 2007

Michael Vick Announces Sponsorship Deal with Phrase "You Know"

Excerpts from his post-plea apology statement:

For most of my life, I've been a football player, not a public speaker, so, you know, I really don't know, you know, how to say what I really want to say.

You know, I understand it's -- it's important or not important, you know, as far as what you say but how you say things. So, you know, I take this opportunity just to speak from the heart.

First, I want to apologize, you know, for all the things that -- that I've done and that I have allowed to happen...I want to apologize to all the young kids out there for my immature acts and, you know, what I did was, what I did was very immature so that means I need to grow up.

I totally ask for forgiveness.

I particularly like how he threw in a 'totally' at the end to show off his range.


Orel said...

He needed to throw in some leetspeak in there:

"OMG I totally ask for forgiveness. LOL!"

Orel said...

Plus, is killing dogs "immature"?

"As a young man, I often enjoyed taking the lives of innocent animals. But I've learned to grow up and leave those murderous ways behind me."

Eric Karros said...

Plus, if you read the full statement, you'll see he says "for this entire situation I never pointed the finger at anybody else".

Compare to his statement back in May when it was first reported there was dogfighting at a property he owned: "It is a wake-up call for me to really tighten down on who I am trying to take care of, because when it all boils down, people try to take advantage of you and leave you out to dry. Lesson learned for me."

Orel said...

See, he wasn't pointing fingers there. He was gesturing with his entire hand.

Steve Sax said...

I also liked the very end of his statement, which drops in a third-person reference just for good measure.

"So I got a lot of down time, a lot of time to think about my actions and what I've done and how to make Michael Vick a better person."

Meanwhile, "I got" a lot of down time too, so I am going to figure out how to make Steve Sax a better blogger.

Eric Karros said...

Regarding leetspeak, he should have finished with:

" 12 - 18 months"