Tuesday, July 23, 2013

A Confession To Mrs. Sax

For years of our marriage, I have been insistent in my proclamations that I have not transgressed. But now comes damning evidence indicating that I have indeed been peeing in the shower on a semi-regular basis. And I understand that you want to suspend me from showers (and maybe limit me to baths for now on).

I am not coming out and saying that it is true or explicitly admitting guilt. But I will not contest the evidence. And I would also like to read you the following statement:

As I have acknowledged in the past, I am not perfect. Sometimes, with the warm water and everything, it just seemed like a pretty harmless action. And I actually thought I was being green and environmentally-friendly.

I realize now that I have made some mistakes. I am willing to accept the consequences of my urinary actions.

This whole peeing-in-the-shower situation has taken a toll on me and my entire family, not to mention our housekeeper, and it has been a distraction to the entire family organization.

I am very grateful for the support I have received from the kids that this isn't a irredeemable quality.

Finally, I wish to apologize to anyone I may have disappointed--all of our friends especially those who have had to hear this uncomfortable conversation over casual dinner conversation, my extended family, and my blog readership.

I am glad to have this matter behind me once and for all, and I cannot wait to get back to the urine-free showers I love.

photo: Daniel Loiselle / Getty Images


Dusty Baker said...

Sax made my day with this one.

Hideo Nomo said...

No more Urine in Sax's shower?

Fred's Brim said...

I'll be honest, I don't care who's peeing and who isn't. Showers are more fun with it than without out it. Who cares if Sax's feet are yellow or if Stubbs' feet smell like asparagus?

BJ Killeen said...

Great, now we're going to have to start using PEDs to test for urine..

BJ Killeen said...


MR.F said...

I actually think that Mrs. Sax wouldn't have a problem with you bringing a Dodger into the shower. But... Urine? Really? Why not Kemp or Puig or Ethier? I'd even take Shredder Punto over Urine.

Steve Sax said...

Punto likes to take off my shirt before I get in the shower.

With Urine in there, though, there isn't a lot of room.