Tuesday, July 28, 2009

A Confederacy of Dumbasses

The Delino's East Coast/Mets leanings have not been the best-kept secret on SoSG. (The best-kept secret? Steve Sax is actually one of the lesser-known Kardashians.) But during weeks like this, it's hard to keep silent.

Where to begin with this so-called team? The talented pitchers they let go over the years, including most recently Heath Bell and Scott Kazmir? The monster contract they gave to OLIVER PEREZ? Well, right now, all of that pales in comparison to the daily activities of the head office. Last week, VP for player development Tony Bernazard got in touch with his inner Hulkster and challenged the minor-league Binghamton crew to a fight.

According to the report, Bernazard pulled off his shirt and challenged some members of the Double-A Binghamton Mets during a postgame tirade.

A source told the News that Bernazard directed a slang term associated with a woman's anatomy at [second baseman Jose] Coronado, who is hitting .250 in 58 games for Binghamton.

I know I hate being called a "Urethral Opening." Then this week, the hits keep coming (and strangely enough for the 2009 Mets, they came on the field too). Omar Minaya told Bernazard to take a 20-foot walk off a 10-foot pier, and got in touch with his inner Oliver Stone by BLAMING BERNAZARD'S PROBLEMS ON A MEDIA CONSPIRACY.

Omar Minaya's press conference to announce the firing of embattled executive Tony Bernazard turned into another Mets circus Monday when the GM tried a smoke screen tactic - assailing Daily News reporter Adam Rubin, who covers the Mets and broke several stories detailing Bernazard's transgressions.

About three hours later, in another odd scene, Minaya, with his boss, Met COO Jeff Wilpon, standing by his right shoulder, came to the press box saying he stood by his rips of Rubin, but apologized for not doing it in the "proper forum."

There's little joy in Queens nowadays. Maybe the Mets will limp into the wild card. Though at this point, I think it's more likely the Nationals will overtake them. I'd call the Mutts an asylum run by the inmates, but that implies SOMEONE'S making decisions.

At least I have these...


Orel said...

Splendid rant, Delino. I didn't know the Mets originally had Heath Bell.

And I think that last quoted paragraph needs more, commas.

Damon said...

Maybe USC will beat OSU this year

Eric Stephen said...

Fight On, Delino!

Damon, you can bank on the Buckeyes losing on September 12!

Neeebs (The Original) said...

Confederacy of Dunces...one of my favorite books.

Damon said...

Eric Stephen I meant Oregon state

Eric Stephen said...

Nice, Damon. :)

Delino DeShields, Sr said...

I knew what Damon meant. Too well.