Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The Assassins' Circle, Kill Thread 4

"The Loney Fan Gambit" (risking a Conflicting Edits snafu while trying to cut the 3pm deadline ever-so-close) has joined "Pulling a Mr F" and "Faberuben Violation" in the AC 2010 lexicon.

Here's the dead:

  • Greg (by Dusty)
  • Hundley (by Wicks)
  • Wicks (by rbnlaw)
  • Loney Fan (self-inflicted)

And here's the living:

side-conversation thread
rules

139 comments:

Paul said...

Pops a few quarters on the jukebox.

Selects "Don't stop believin"

Spank Raving Mad said...

AWWWWWWWW YEAH!

If I'm going down I'm doing it blasting shit up in dis bish

Say hello to my little friend

"proceeds to fire off multiple rounds in a Cap'n Crunch induced rage"

Mr. Customer said...

*empties clip*

*selects "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" on the Jukebox*

Mr. Customer said...

sonuvabitch.

Spank Raving Mad said...

You lose Kenobi

Josh S. said...

No brains, but plenty of schadenfreude.

Spank Raving Mad said...

This game is fucked. He He

Paul said...

I always liked you Spank!

Paul said...

Neeebs is safe. Crap and I just saved Mr. C.

Mr. Customer said...

Couldn't have been more than about 5 seconds of differential in our two comments.

Eric Karros said...

A bunch of whiffs:

Spank shields Paul
Mr C shields Spank
Paul shields Mr C

Loney Fan said...

I was too angry with myself for that move to comment further yesterday. I used two timestamps in the other thread to make sure my computer clock was correct down to the second and that I could comment at 3:00:59 but I got what I deserved. I'm pretty sure that Mr. C was able to get in a comment around 3:00:45. Nicely done. At least I can take solace in the fact that I have never been killed by anyone but myself.

Well Loney Fan, nice kill. I'd like a Jameson at the bar if you don't mind.

Not at all, Loney Fan. You are a gentleman assassin and it was my pleasure killing you again, two years in a row.

Spank Raving Mad said...

I put myself out there(I Tried anyways)to be a sacrificial lamb cause I'll probably be away till after 3

Sorry Mr.C but that was classic

Mr. Customer said...

@LF

3:00:55, if you must know. I didn't trust blogger or my reflexes any more than that.

Paul said...

Fuck. Ahh well. Mr. C gave me a haircut with that bullet.

Mr. Customer said...

Neeebs has nothing to do this round but be a human shield.

Neeebs said...

Easy day at the job today, eh????

Just kick back and watch the 3:00 carnage.

Neeebs said...

I opted not to enter the shield sweepstakes as I think we need to cull a few Hessians out of this circle.

Steve Sax said...

I'm meat anyway as Dusty is chasing me; I think I can see the glint from his sniper scope in the bushes.

Put me out of my misery, Dusty, and perhaps I'll buy you a beer when I see you at tonight's game?

Dusty Baker said...

No more to say, and nothing to weep for but the Beings in the Dream, trapped in its disappearance,
sighing, screaming with it, buying and selling pieces of phantom, worshipping each other,

Steve Sax said...

Does that mean you're buying the beer?

Josh S. said...

Sax brains!

This calls for the good tableware.

rbnlaw said...

Bye Dusty.

I think. Did Sax cover you?

rbnlaw said...

Nope, I done kilt him.

rbnlaw said...

Josh now has sustenance.

MR. F said...

Early morning action!

Dusty Baker said...

Today was a good day to die.

No shield from MLASF! *makes mental note*

Dusty Baker said...

Josh, upon examining Dusty's corpse: Wait, there aren't any brains in this one.

Josh S. said...

STOOPID MISTER LOS ANGELES SPORTS FAN IS STOOPID NO SAVE DUSTY

Josh S. said...

Sax dead. Dusty dead.

Good thing I don't eat livers.

Eric Karros said...

Uh oh, Dusty's making mental notes. Don't let him compare his with LeBron's.

So the dead I have thusfar are
Sax (by Dusty) and Dusty (by rbn).

Sounds like a co-branding exercise.

Eric Karros said...

I like how in one year Josh went from conscientious objector to feasting on the dead. The thrill of killing has a way of doing that.

Dusty Baker said...

I think I'm in heaven now...there's a cornfield here, and then, wait - what's that? A baseball field right in the middle! Cool. I can play catch with my dad now!

Too bad this place is in Iowa.

Dusty Baker said...

I'm so often compared to LeBron.

Dusty Baker said...

@EK

It's like "Brut - by Faberge"

Eric Karros said...

All I know is I DO NOT want to see whatever product the marketing folks have come up with that's called 'Sax - by Dusty'.

Josh S. said...

@EK: Don't ever let it be said that the first year of parenthood doesn't change you.

QuadSevens said...

I missed all the carnage yesterday. Today is looking good though.

Mr. Customer said...

@EK

Off-road rated trucknutz?

Steve Sax said...

I thought I saw rbnlaw's sniperscope glinting somewhere behind dusty's sniperscope glint.

Dusty, shall we toast being dead tonight? Loge level for me and AC...where will you be?

Neeebs said...

@DB:

Cornfield? Did Anthony send you there?

Dusty Baker said...

Speaking of corpses:

"Casey Blake vs RHP since July 1: .120/.204/.174 in 103 PA w/ 31 K & 5 IF popouts (.164 BABIP)" - TBLA

Mr. Customer said...

Ouch.

Eric Karros said...

@Neeebs - yes, but it's a good thing he did. A real good thing.

Dusty Baker said...

@Sax

Mrs Dusty, MDIL, and I will be in section 47RS, Row H, Seats 10 - 12.

cc: AC

Dusty Baker said...

Come out, come out, wherever you are, Karina and MLASF!

You too, Tom Cruise.

Paul said...

Karina is crafty. She is laying low in the weeds.
But I want her to kill somone so she can start sending pics of hot chicks and beer out of guilt.

Dusty Baker said...

Where my 7 virgins at?

Paul said...

I am now going to pay tribute to my fallin brother dusty by taking his beer.

Josh S. said...

@Dusty: "Where my 7 virgins at?"

Here ya go!

Paul said...

The plan for tomorrow on how to kill neeebs is to play something from the Flaming Menudos. He wont be able to resist posting he is doing the solo tango.

Dusty Baker said...

@Josh

OH NO! I blew myself up for that?

MR. F said...

I didn't even know we got virgins for dying.

Dusty Baker said...

Wait, I end up in Iowa with 7 Trekkie virgins then Paul takes my beer? This is not my idea of the afterlife.

rbnlaw said...

DB,
I guess those things they say about Hell are true.

*repents*

Dusty Baker said...

This is all your fault, RB. Can you imagine that you of all people would be the one to deny me beer?

EK: THAT'S IRONY

I'mma haunt your ass.

Dusty Baker said...

^ your = RB

rbnlaw said...

Hey, had I known, I'd a shot wide.

What's that noise coming from the attic????

The good news is, I'll likely be off'd in the next round. We can tag-team Paul and steal his lunch money for more beer.

Mr. Customer said...

Watching the Spurs get whupped through the sniper scope.

Dusty Baker said...

@Mr. C

Can you take out that bastard Robbie Keane once and for all?

He's on the bench so should be a sitting duck.

Mr. Customer said...

@dusty

He's stumbled his way onto the pitch. I'll see what I can do on the next corner.

Paul said...

I am still pissed I risked going first only to forget the rule.
I am the Matt Kemp of AC.

Paul said...

Or am I the Don Mattingly?

Dusty Baker said...

@Paul

More like a Chris Webber.

Josh S. said...

Less than an hour left. I haven't seen hide nor hair of MLASF anywhere online today. I think he may have been telling the truth about not being able to post today.

Dusty Baker said...

I don't trust that turkey as far as I can throw him. He's out there. I can feel it.

Josh S. said...

I swear! He's not here, not on Twitter, not on MLBTR, not on jackiejohnsonstalkers.com, not on Home Depot's drywall patching FAQ...nowhere!

Neeebs said...

@DB:

"Seven virgins and a mule, keep it cool, keep it cool."

@Paul:

Ah, the siren sounds of the Flaming Menudos......

@EK:

Stop kissing Anthony's ass. You know he'll eventually turn you into a Jack in the Box.

Dusty Baker said...

Maybe it was Obama's motorcade what hung MLASF up.

Paul said...

*whistling the Farmer and the Dell*

Paul said...

Did anyone check the hole in MLASF's wall to see if he is hiding out in there?

Dusty Baker said...

I don't reckon I got no reason to kill nobody. Mmmm-hmmm.

Meaniebreanie said...

Oh the anticipation of additional death and destruction. Let there be blood!

Dusty Baker said...

@Meraniebreanie

Are you talking about tonight's game?

Neeebs said...

Kinda like the way you talk. Hmmm Hmmm.

Dusty Baker said...

Come on, people! kill Kill KIIILLLL!!!

#ZombiePost

Dusty Baker said...

^ "Meaniebreanie"

Meaniebreanie said...

DB - Oh gawd, I hope not! There couldn't possibly be any blood left to shed. It's been drained from our boys in blue. Our AC targets are a different story. Wait, I see Josh on the sideline eagerly anticipating more brains.

Dusty Baker said...

Zach Greinke has a tiny head.

Josh S. said...

Zach Greinke=Zombie tapas

Dusty Baker said...

Can you pour me some Zombie sangria while you're at it, Josh?

Josh S. said...

Zombie sangria=actual blood

Dusty Baker said...

Wash yern hair, Timmeh!!!

Dusty Baker said...

Geronimo!

Paul said...

3!

Dusty Baker said...

Unleash hell!

Dusty Baker said...

.

Mr. Customer said...

*landmine*

Dusty Baker said...

..

Josh S. said...

Nooooooooooo.

Dusty Baker said...

...

Paul said...

Awwwww booooooo

Dusty Baker said...

DOUBLE SUICIDE!!!!

Josh S. said...

If our yammering gave karina a conflicting edit, I'm never going to forgive myself.

Dusty Baker said...

BOOOOOOOO!

I don't mean in ghost speak. I mean booo as in that sucked. I died for naught!

Josh S. said...

STOOPID VENEZUELAN INTERNET MUST BE RUN BY MCCOURT

karina said...

Thank you,I got a conflicting edit.

Mr. Customer said...

Aw, that's a little disappointing. AND I let Robbie get away because I got distracted by eine zaftige Schweizer M├Ądchen in the stands

Josh S. said...

Aw, we suck soooo hard.

Dusty Baker said...

You had plenty of time, Karina, you nincompoop!

karina said...

I didn't kill anyone.It's ok, from now on, I'm gonna haunt all of you at nights.

And no Chicas Polar for you.

Josh, get away from my brain,liver,lungs,kidneys,etc.(I have no heart)

Mr. Customer said...

It wasn't me, I was after 3:00!

*takes absolutely no responsibility for his actions*

karina said...

Can you blame to wait till the last second while Mr LASF was stalking me?

Josh S. said...

Naw, there's no way I'd eat your brain after that.

karina said...

Mr C I'll find ways to revenge!

Mr. Customer said...

Shit, Karina's totally gonna haunt me.

I could do worse, I guess...

Neeebs said...

Let the record reflect my post at 9:56 a.m., whereby I did not want to interfere with carnage.

karina said...

Les voy a halar los pies en la noche=I'm going to pull your feet at night.

karina said...

In fact, I got conflicting edit and friggin 503

Meaniebreanie said...

**MB sniffles and wipes a tear at the news of Karina's death. She was the last of my fellow sister assassins. Karina, join us at the bar and I will buy you a drink. You have my complete and total respect.

Just wait until next year because "hell hath no fury like a scorned, dead woman".

Neeebs said...

Recap of the self-inflicted.

MLASF
Karina

Mr. Customer said...

To be fair, criminal master plans NEVER succeed in the movies. How was I to know?

Neeebs said...

And Paul remains the middle of the sandwich. I'm a clown. MC is a joker.

karina said...

@Josh I'm glad you won't eat my brains.Maybe I'll just pull an ear at night, once in a while.

Josh S. said...

Eh, looking back, I only had two posts right before the deadline: 2:57 and 2:59, nothing that would cause a conflict.

The blame now shifts back to Blogger.

Or Dusty.

Or Matt Kemp.

karina said...

@Meaniebreanie exactly.

So, I'm headed to have a couple of martinis, whose tab I'm drinking on?

Neeebs said...

Dusty was pretty much hogging the blogger at 3:00pm. sharp.

karina said...

@Neeebs you already know why I wouldn't EVER hurt you.

Josh S. said...

"Hogging the Blogger" sounds both filthy and like it should be the next AC rule.

Meaniebreanie said...

Karina, you definitely have one on me. Since your limit is 2 I'm sure Sax will pick up the other. That is unless you choose to live dangerously :D

Neeebs said...

I know mi hija.

Spank Raving Mad said...

Just got in and about to check out this bloody mess

Dusty Baker said...

Heh...if this had been, say, Neeebs or RB, we'd all be laughing at the diabolical plot to keep him from posting.

karina said...

@Meaniebreanie my limit is two martinis, bring on the rum or vodka on the rocks and there's a whole different ballgame.

I'd love to get absolutely hammered with you.

karina said...

@Neeebs queria que estuvieras seguro,papa.

rbnlaw said...

I've equaled last year's kill total. I expect to top it tomorrow.

*shoots at and hits a fly from 300yds.*

karina said...

There's a salsa dancing class to attend.

Later!

(i'm going to practice for next year,you'll see)

Meaniebreanie said...

Karina, we will have to meet at the next SoSG fest and make it a reality.
** Makes note to have a designated driver, limo, or taxi on standby.

Betsy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dusty Baker said...

Karina, you're supposed to post the lineup today!

Spank Raving Mad said...

Lame Ass Ending

Spank Raving Mad said...

@ Dusty

Karina can't even post a comment let alone the line-up

Paul said...

Objection!

No one question Neeebs therefore it is narrative. Neeebs avatar made me do it.

Wait who is on trial?

No Chicas Polar?!?!?

Now I want to die.

Dusty Baker said...

Here you go Paul:

http://chicas-polar.blogspot.com/2008/03/wallpaper-para-pc.html

Eric Karros said...

Whoa, I just checked in to see the aftermath of the double suicide. Mr LASF's body hasn't even been recovered.

So I guess the day's dead are:
1. Sax (by Dusty)
2. Dusty (by rbn)
3. MLASF (self inflicted)
4. Karina (self inflicted)

Paul said...

Self inflicted death is sooooo 90s.

Dusty Baker said...

I just received a note explaining where we can find MLASF's body. Weird that he would off himself in a clown suit in the middle of a leather bar.

Mr. Customer said...

Had to do some actual work this afternoon, but I'll definitely pick up the remainder of Karina's AC bar tab, since it was my idea to use blogger's twitchiness as a weapon.

Spank Raving Mad said...

Hello Hello