Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Welcome Back to Our Team, Pastor Ted

From "Haggard Now 'Completely Heterosexual' " (AP/CBSNEWS.com):

One of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counseling for the Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged convinced that he is "completely heterosexual."

Haggard also said his sexual contact with men was limited to the former male prostitute who came forward with sexual allegations, the Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur told The Denver Post for a story in Tuesday's edition.

"He is completely heterosexual," Ralph said. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing."

Ralph said the board spoke with people close to Haggard while investigating his claim that his only extramarital sexual contact happened with Mike Jones. The board found no evidence to the contrary.

"If we're going to be proved wrong, somebody else is going to come forward, and that usually happens really quickly," he said. "We're into this thing over 90 days and it hasn't happened."

Over 90 days! I'm convinced. Get that man his straight card.


Delino DeShields, Sr said...

Pastor Ted gets over his homosexuality. Isaiah Washington gets over his hatred of homosexuals. Michaels Richards gets over his hatred of African Americans. Maybe there's hope that I can get over my hatred of the Yankees, Braves, onions, Napoleon Dynamite, and mayonaise.

Anonymous said...

Jimmy Swaggert and Ted Haggard Double Dating Team: Evangelical S & H Green Stamps.

Anonymous said...

OMG...I still can't stop laughing...like the next time he sees some oiled-up hunk in a speedo he won't feel the lead stiffening in his pencil.....yeah right!! If he could get off for four years with the same guy, he sure as hell isn't going to stop having lustful feelings for other men just because of a little therapy....is there a single idiot out there who is fooled by this nonsense? You couldn't cure me of women and there is no way you're going to cure him of men...just so much bullsh**!!! Someone pinch me.....

Steve Sax said...

I don't know. From the looks of that picture, after all that "intensive counseling," he's looking a little Haggard.

Delino DeShields, Sr said...

Is that haircut a choice, or genetics?