I Want to Be a Professional Apology Writer

Tim Hardaway's initial comments:

You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known. I don't like gay people and I don't like to be around gay people. I am homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States.

If he had an openly gay teammate:

First of all, I wouldn't want him on my team. And second of all, if he was on my team, I would, you know, really distance myself from him because, uh, I don't think that's right. And you know I don't think he should be in the locker room while we're in the locker room. I wouldn't even be a part of that.

Tim Hardaway's written apology:

As an African-American, I know all too well the negative thoughts and feelings hatred and bigotry cause. I regret and apologize for the statements that I made that have certainly caused the same kinds of feelings and reactions.

I especially apologize to my fans, friends and family in Miami and Chicago. I am committed to examining my feelings and will recognize, appreciate and respect the differences among people in our society. I regret any embarrassment I have caused the league on the eve of one of their greatest annual events.

The formula: Take an honest* statement ("I hate gay people....I am homophobic") and say the exact opposite using dense, non-offensive phrasing ("I am committed to examining my feelings and will recognize, appreciate and respect the differences among people in our society").

You know...anyone who hates a group of people is, in my book, pretty much not committed to examining their feelings. However, I credit Hardaway's professional apology writer for not whipping out the usual hater tokenism of I am not (a) racist, (b) anti-Semitic and/or (c) homophobic.

In other words, it's somewhat encouraging to see Hardaway's statement essentially read, Yeah, I'm homophobic, and I want to find out why.

Now if he only meant it.

*John Amaechi's word