Bud Selig Must Have Oxygen, Custard

From "Selig stays noncommital on following Bonds' HR chase" (AP/ESPN.com):

SAN FRANCISCO -- Barry Bonds might get a telephone call from baseball commissioner Bud Selig instead of a handshake if the San Francisco Giants slugger breaks Hank Aaron's home run record.

Selig wouldn't say Thursday whether he would attend any Giants games if and when Bonds closes in on the mark....

There has been wide speculation Selig would prefer that Bonds just retire now to avoid further scrutiny as the seven-time NL MVP pursues the mark of Hammerin' Hank. The 42-year-old Bonds, whose $15.8 million, one-year contract with the Giants remains unresolved less than a week before the team begins spring training, begins his 22nd major league season only 22 homers from passing Aaron -- and Bonds is healthier now than in recent seasons.

"This is a matter between the Giants and Barry," said Selig, who was treated to his favorite frozen custard dessert flown in from Milwaukee. "As far as I'm concerned, as long as things that are being done are in the best interest of the sport, whether it's contractual or anything else, I don't make those judgments."

"Treated to his favorite frozen custard dessert flown in from Milwaukee"? My baby nephew gets treated to his favorite dessert. The Commissioner of Baseball should not get treated to his favorite dessert if it has to be airlifted from 2,000 miles away. The Commissioner of Baseball is not two years old.

Furthermore, who's paying for this special-order custard? Fox Sports Bay Area hosted the luncheon where Selig gave his quotes, so the answer is...Giants and A's fans. That's right, Bay Area baseball supporters, your cable dollars are paying for Bud Selig's dessert. Remember that next time your cable bill increases.

Speaking of Bonds—and when are we not?—Tom Verducci of SI.com reports Barry is threatening to go all Julio Franco on us:

Bonds told the Giants this winter, through his agent, that he has no plans to retire -- not after this season and probably not after next season, either....

So Bonds and Selig are stuck with each other. There is some poetic justice in that marriage because it's more fallout from an era on Selig's watch when players and owners did far too little to curb the boom in performance-enhancing drugs, acting only out of sufficient public embarrassment or threat.

You call it poetic justice, Tom. I call it the icing on the custard.