Thursday, January 11, 2007

Agent Assface and the InterGlobal Moon Pirates!

Football may now be America's national pastime, but baseball has the funniest bloggers. To wit:

The deal with the Rangers is similar to the incentive-laden deal the Dodgers offered to Gagne earlier this offseason, but guarantees the 30-year-old another couple million—with a big lump going to everyone's friend, Scott Boras. Ned Colletti and Boras might deny it, but the relationship between the Dodgers and Agent Assface is clearly strained. After the Drew departure and Colletti's tantrum, Boras guided Greg Maddux down south and steered his other free agents clear of Los Angeles. Colletti made little effort to negotiate with Boras, and rumor has it that Ned actually burned Boras' business card, deleted his number from his cell phone, and dropped a booger in his Coke at the Winter Meetings.

Dodger Blues


Baseball is a funny sport where human men play on fields that aren't all exactly the same. That's why it may not always be useful to compare raw statistics accrued in vastly different spaces. Say you have 16 HR and I have 1000 HR. I am a better hitter, right? Well, maybe not. Because you play for the Mariners in spacious SafeCo Field, and I play for the InterGlobal Moon Pirates, and we play in the MoonCo Moonadium, where there is no gravity, and so every ball hit into the air is a home run. You are probably a better hitter than me. Park-adjusted stats will help us figure that out.

Fire Joe Morgan