Pictured: The 2012 Dodgers' quest for the post-season. |
Josh Becket (1-2, 3.45 ERA) vs. Edinson Volquez (10-11, 4.30 ERA)
The good news is that the Dodgers are still alive in the wild card race. The bad news is that time and tides are conspiring against us. If we're going to get this done, it's going to take some divine intervention.
Our patented noffense has shown sputtering signs of life, but it will be heading down to Petco Park tonight, a veritable temple to run suppression. It might take a miracle, but this is baseball! Weird shit happens every day, right?
One has only to look as far as the Padres recent late season collapses (Thanks for nothing in 2010 AGAIN, you assholes) to see exactly how strange the last few games of the season can get. So, let's do the only thing we can do: Win our remaining games, and hope the Cardinals clubhouse is blessed by a particularly infectious strain of the French pox.
169 comments:
Mellis 2B
Ethier RF
Kemp CF
Gonzalez 1B
Ramirez SS
Victorino LF (sigh)
Cruz 3B
Ajellis C
Beckett P
let's whoop some padre ass!
Cards up 1-0 in the 2nd.
Make that 2-0.
And counting..
I fixed your caption's apostrophe, Sir Stubbs. Hope that wasn't intentional
Brewers are losing. We have a good shot at that third Wild Card.
I wanna whoop some madre ass!
Astros still have a mathematical probability of winning!
St Louis still up 2-0, top 7
Stros with runners on the corners.
Double play. Stros suck.
Scoreless first. PLAYOFFS
Cards up 3-0, top 8. Great.
Victorino is healthy...enough to single.
epale everyone!
cruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuz!
C'MON!!!!!!
That was the most predictably stupid play at the plate I have ever seen.
Victorino gunned down at the plate. Can't say I'm too upset with the aggressive baserunning.
wonder how many runs we haven't scored because of bad base running
failing at fundamentals drives me crazy
I called it when he was rounding second.
Karina, is that you?
I'll accept it.
Victorino diving catch on Gandalf's sinking liner!
She's entered into our sphere of negativity.
If Victorino had stopped at third, AJ would have GIDPed.
Beckett didn't even have to move to catch that comebacker. Nice.
Is everyone trying to kill our starters?
If so, why not Harang?
@Orel yes, I am! wonder why you make that question
@Orel @Nomo in spite of all that bad base running, I think they are gonna make it to the playoffs :)
There she is!
Will Venunable
Cards win. PLAYOFFS!
...and not a rumor of the French pox among the lot of them, either.
That's a lotta chaw.
Take thath, Everth!
whew!
no Padres runs is satisfactory enough
That'll do, no Padres runs, that'll do.
Looks like another scoreless classic.
Swell.
Lead-off walks put a twist in my drawers.
Headley almost deadley.
Pads 1st & 3rd, no out. Great.
Can we take a mulligan on this inning?
Padres score a run. Game over.
it ain't over 'till it's over
It ain't until the opposing team scores a single, measly, insurmountable run.
Damage limited.
Cruz leadoff single!
Cochiiiiiiiiiiiito!
@Orel you have the faith of an atheist
*whoops Neeebs' Mom ass*
Cruz takeout slide puts A.J. at second!
Beckett should try to at least look interested at the plate.
"@Orel you have the faith of an atheist"
As God is my witness, it's true!
These games are hard to watch. Thank the gods for Vinny and sosg...
Beckett should at least look like he's interested in throwing strikes, too.
That was not so much a good throw.
Dip. shit.
Why can't Donnie call for bunts like that?
Because it would interfere with our usual up-fuckery.
are the Dodgers playing t-ball?
*cries*
Old Matty resurfaces, getting tagged out after rounding third on a heads-up play by Headley.
Goddamn it, about two weeks ago there were TWO of these plays, one by the Orioles, both picking off an errant runner going too far past third. Doesn't Matt Kemp read Deadspin?!?!
Didn't even see the rogue apostrophe, Sax.
Too bad Dusty hasn't been around to admire my antics.
RANCHO ARDIENDO
BOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo...
Ugh.
Kemp.....
I am going to feel so much better when we find out they lost on purpose in 2035
The previous half-inning was the perfect allegory for this season.
*bangs head on table repeatedly*
At this rate the Dodgers couldn't even make the NCAA Basketball Tournament.
NIT for us. Hooray?
I don't think we'd make the NIT
When did AJ Ellis turn into AJ Ellis?
Vin has said "fanny" and "buttocks."
The 2012 Dodgers: Almost as Good as Cleveland State.
Stop with the "Beat L.A.", San Diego. Nobody gives a shit about you.
The 2012 Dodgers: The 2010 Dodgers but with more money.
Seriously. This contest is complete futility. You guys are embarrassing yourselves.
"Mo Money, Not Neccessarilly Mo Problems, But the Same Goddamn Problems We Had When We Were Broke"
So, who gets fooled into predicting the Dodgers will win the division next year?
Besides me?
I can already feel the rationalization brewing.
Maybe that's just the Pad Thai.
Fight! Fight!
OK, good. But we still can't fooking score.
Finally!!!
Benches clear! Finally something interesting!
Victorino takes exception to Cabrera's crotch-grabbiness.
So VInny says something like "up next are Ethier, Kemp and Gonzalez" and I hear "streaky guy, hurt guy, grounder or K"
you are such a bad influence :(
I think the Padres should hit Victorino.
Keeping track of Victorino's rules:
Hit in the head = Not OK.
Hit in the arse = OK.
Hit in the junk = Not OK.
I really hope Carl Crawford is rehabbing his ass off right now.
Welcome to the Dark Side, Karina!
One of us! One of us!
Now Cabrera is going to steal home to spite us.
Ethier needs to practice against a left-handed ball machine
Giants losing! Ha ha ha ha ha ha
I am going to need a lot of scotch this winter to forget this season
"Feel the hate flowing through you!"
Everth Thayer
Dodgers will score like 47 runs in their last game of the season.
C'mon, Matty! Meaningless homer here!
That's embarrassing.
Matty was super-fooled there.
Gonzalez, if you ever had any balls shut the boo birds up.
There's our meaningless hit.
Hanley singles. Two on, two out.
Don't tease me. Hit him!
hey, so i'm finally here! can i join the anguish-ridden sobs directed towards our pathetic lineup of stiffs we choose to call "offense"? :D
For once, don't be all talk, Victorino.
There's always room for *cries*, Hollandsworth.
(cries)
Odds of a Victorino strikeout: 100%.
Pop out. Same result.
That was dumb.
Glad we're using Jansen here, down 2-0.
M's are coming back against the Angels.
This is the new "Save Situation".
Anyone else feel like if Scioscia and Mattingly switched places it might actually work out well for both teams?
We might as well have "The Situation" as our closer, we can't get a lead to hang on to.
We might as well have Snooki as our closer, we can't get a lead to hang on to.
Cruz goes 3 for 4. Only time he didn't get a hit? With the bases loaded.
Ellis!
He should be a table-setter.
A.J. RBI! 2-1 Pads.
Don't be fooled, people.
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!! Not Dee Gordon!
Don't steal Dee.
Ellis!
Okay, I'm re-writing the PGT.
No need to worry, our playoff hopes rest on the capable shoulders of Gordon and Punto.
*Cries*
Guess Donnie plays to tie on the road.
Jesus, can we manage a deep fly ball, Ellis?! Please!!!
Dee on third, one out.
Balsley
Dre is getting that lefty.
2-0 count to Mellis.
Can Dee Gordon cross home and then run around the bases again, scoring two?
Walk! 1st & 3rd, one out. I'm still skeptical.
The smart money is on GIDP.
Shocked Andre didn't swing at ball one there.
Drive it Dre. Can't believe they didn't bring in the lefty. They had him warming up quickly.
A strike! Cue sarcastic applause!
Balsley = Apodaca 2.0
(Actually, I still like Apodaca more.)
The first-to-third fake that never works, except when it does.
Ump wants to go home.
(apodaca)
2-2 count.
Dick Pole
Booooooo!
Cut that balky shit out, Street.
Dammit Dre
Of course. Here we go.
Outside!!!!
Wow, that strike 1 call was bullshit.
Two strikeouts it will be.
PLAYOFFS
Bollocks.
Still hope for that 8 seed.
*sighs*
as a t-ball team, they are very good.
but they'll still make it to the playoffs.
Fuck this noise.
We just suck so incredibly much.
PGT up.
We ain't makin' the playoffs unless the NFL refs come back and the replacement refs start calling balls and strikes.
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