Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Game 154 Thread: September 25 @ Padres, 7p

Pictured: The 2012 Dodgers' quest for the post-season.
Josh Becket (1-2, 3.45 ERA) vs. Edinson Volquez (10-11, 4.30 ERA)

The good news is that the Dodgers are still alive in the wild card race. The bad news is that time and tides are conspiring against us. If we're going to get this done, it's going to take some divine intervention.

Our patented noffense has shown sputtering signs of life, but it will be heading down to Petco Park tonight, a veritable temple to run suppression. It might take a miracle, but this is baseball! Weird shit happens every day, right?

One has only to look as far as the Padres recent late season collapses (Thanks for nothing in 2010 AGAIN, you assholes) to see exactly how strange the last few games of the season can get. So, let's do the only thing we can do: Win our remaining games, and hope the Cardinals clubhouse is blessed by a particularly infectious strain of the French pox.

180 comments:

Hideo Nomo said...

Mellis 2B
Ethier RF
Kemp CF
Gonzalez 1B
Ramirez SS
Victorino LF (sigh)
Cruz 3B
Ajellis C
Beckett P

Fred's Brim said...

let's whoop some padre ass!

Paul said...

Cards up 1-0 in the 2nd.

Paul said...

Make that 2-0.

Paul said...

And counting..

Steve Sax said...

I fixed your caption's apostrophe, Sir Stubbs. Hope that wasn't intentional

Hideo Nomo said...

Brewers are losing. We have a good shot at that third Wild Card.

Spank Horst said...

I wanna whoop some madre ass!

Paul said...

Astros still have a mathematical probability of winning!

Steve Sax said...

St Louis still up 2-0, top 7

Paul said...

Stros with runners on the corners.

Paul said...

Double play. Stros suck.

Orel said...

Scoreless first. PLAYOFFS

Steve Sax said...

Cards up 3-0, top 8. Great.

Orel said...

Victorino is healthy...enough to single.

karina said...

epale everyone!

cruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuz!

karina said...

C'MON!!!!!!

Franklin Stubbs said...

That was the most predictably stupid play at the plate I have ever seen.

Orel said...

Victorino gunned down at the plate. Can't say I'm too upset with the aggressive baserunning.

karina said...

wonder how many runs we haven't scored because of bad base running

karina said...

failing at fundamentals drives me crazy

Franklin Stubbs said...

I called it when he was rounding second.

Orel said...

Karina, is that you?

Franklin Stubbs said...

I'll accept it.

Orel said...

Victorino diving catch on Gandalf's sinking liner!

Franklin Stubbs said...

She's entered into our sphere of negativity.

Hideo Nomo said...

If Victorino had stopped at third, AJ would have GIDPed.

Orel said...

Beckett didn't even have to move to catch that comebacker. Nice.

Hideo Nomo said...

Is everyone trying to kill our starters?

Franklin Stubbs said...

If so, why not Harang?

karina said...

@Orel yes, I am! wonder why you make that question

karina said...

@Orel @Nomo in spite of all that bad base running, I think they are gonna make it to the playoffs :)

Orel said...

There she is!

Orel said...

Will Venunable

Franklin Stubbs said...

Maybin's chaw wad is nearly as disgusting as Kennedy's.

Orel said...

Cards win. PLAYOFFS!

Franklin Stubbs said...

...and not a rumor of the French pox among the lot of them, either.

Orel said...

That's a lotta chaw.

Orel said...

Take thath, Everth!

Franklin Stubbs said...

whew!

karina said...

no Padres runs is satisfactory enough

Orel said...

That'll do, no Padres runs, that'll do.

Orel said...

Looks like another scoreless classic.

Franklin Stubbs said...

Swell.

Franklin Stubbs said...

Lead-off walks put a twist in my drawers.

Orel said...

Headley almost deadley.

Orel said...

Pads 1st & 3rd, no out. Great.

Franklin Stubbs said...

Can we take a mulligan on this inning?

Franklin Stubbs said...

Poop.

Orel said...

Padres score a run. Game over.

karina said...

it ain't over 'till it's over

Orel said...

It ain't until the opposing team scores a single, measly, insurmountable run.

Orel said...

Damage limited.

Orel said...

Cruz leadoff single!

Franklin Stubbs said...

Cochiiiiiiiiiiiito!

karina said...

@Orel you have the faith of an atheist

Spank Horst said...

*whoops Neeebs' Mom ass*

Franklin Stubbs said...

I'll take it.

Orel said...

Cruz takeout slide puts A.J. at second!

Franklin Stubbs said...

Beckett should try to at least look interested at the plate.

Orel said...

"@Orel you have the faith of an atheist"

As God is my witness, it's true!

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

These games are hard to watch. Thank the gods for Vinny and sosg...

Franklin Stubbs said...

Beckett should at least look like he's interested in throwing strikes, too.

Franklin Stubbs said...

That was not so much a good throw.

Franklin Stubbs said...

Dip. shit.

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Why can't Donnie call for bunts like that?

Franklin Stubbs said...

Because it would interfere with our usual up-fuckery.

Franklin Stubbs said...

Dumb. Ass. Baserunning.

karina said...

are the Dodgers playing t-ball?

*cries*

Orel said...

Old Matty resurfaces, getting tagged out after rounding third on a heads-up play by Headley.

Steve Sax said...

Goddamn it, about two weeks ago there were TWO of these plays, one by the Orioles, both picking off an errant runner going too far past third. Doesn't Matt Kemp read Deadspin?!?!

Franklin Stubbs said...

Didn't even see the rogue apostrophe, Sax.

Too bad Dusty hasn't been around to admire my antics.

Orel said...

RANCHO ARDIENDO

Franklin Stubbs said...

BOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo...

Steve Sax said...

Dammit!

Orel said...

Ugh.

Paul said...

Kemp.....

Paul said...

I am going to feel so much better when we find out they lost on purpose in 2035

Franklin Stubbs said...

The previous half-inning was the perfect allegory for this season.

Franklin Stubbs said...

*bangs head on table repeatedly*

Cliff Beefpile said...

At this rate the Dodgers couldn't even make the NCAA Basketball Tournament.

Franklin Stubbs said...

NIT for us. Hooray?

Steve Sax said...

I don't think we'd make the NIT

Paul said...

When did AJ Ellis turn into AJ Ellis?

Orel said...

Vin has said "fanny" and "buttocks."

Franklin Stubbs said...

The 2012 Dodgers: Almost as Good as Cleveland State.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Stop with the "Beat L.A.", San Diego. Nobody gives a shit about you.

Paul said...

The 2012 Dodgers: The 2010 Dodgers but with more money.

Franklin Stubbs said...

Seriously. This contest is complete futility. You guys are embarrassing yourselves.

Franklin Stubbs said...

"Mo Money, Not Neccessarilly Mo Problems, But the Same Goddamn Problems We Had When We Were Broke"

Orel said...

So, who gets fooled into predicting the Dodgers will win the division next year?

Franklin Stubbs said...

Besides me?

Franklin Stubbs said...

I can already feel the rationalization brewing.

Franklin Stubbs said...

Maybe that's just the Pad Thai.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Fight! Fight!

Franklin Stubbs said...

OK, good. But we still can't fooking score.

Paul said...

Finally!!!

Orel said...

Benches clear! Finally something interesting!

Orel said...

Victorino takes exception to Cabrera's crotch-grabbiness.

karina said...

So VInny says something like "up next are Ethier, Kemp and Gonzalez" and I hear "streaky guy, hurt guy, grounder or K"

you are such a bad influence :(

Paul said...

I think the Padres should hit Victorino.

Franklin Stubbs said...

Keeping track of Victorino's rules:

Hit in the head = Not OK.
Hit in the arse = OK.
Hit in the junk = Not OK.

Orel said...

I really hope Carl Crawford is rehabbing his ass off right now.

Orel said...

Welcome to the Dark Side, Karina!

Franklin Stubbs said...

One of us! One of us!

Orel said...

Now Cabrera is going to steal home to spite us.

Franklin Stubbs said...

Also, fuck the Giants.

Just because.

Steve Sax said...

Ethier needs to practice against a left-handed ball machine

Steve Sax said...

Giants losing! Ha ha ha ha ha ha

Paul said...

I am going to need a lot of scotch this winter to forget this season

Cliff Beefpile said...

"Feel the hate flowing through you!"

Orel said...

Everth Thayer

Orel said...

Dodgers will score like 47 runs in their last game of the season.

Orel said...

C'mon, Matty! Meaningless homer here!

Franklin Stubbs said...

That's embarrassing.

Orel said...

Matty was super-fooled there.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Gonzalez, if you ever had any balls shut the boo birds up.

Orel said...

There's our meaningless hit.

Orel said...

Hanley singles. Two on, two out.

Paul said...

Don't tease me. Hit him!

Hollandsworth said...

hey, so i'm finally here! can i join the anguish-ridden sobs directed towards our pathetic lineup of stiffs we choose to call "offense"? :D

Cliff Beefpile said...

For once, don't be all talk, Victorino.

Franklin Stubbs said...

There's always room for *cries*, Hollandsworth.

Orel said...

(cries)

Orel said...

Odds of a Victorino strikeout: 100%.

Orel said...

Pop out. Same result.

Franklin Stubbs said...

That was dumb.

Orel said...

Glad we're using Jansen here, down 2-0.

Cliff Beefpile said...

M's are coming back against the Angels.

Franklin Stubbs said...

This is the new "Save Situation".

Cliff Beefpile said...

Anyone else feel like if Scioscia and Mattingly switched places it might actually work out well for both teams?

Cliff Beefpile said...

We might as well have "The Situation" as our closer, we can't get a lead to hang on to.

Orel said...

We might as well have Snooki as our closer, we can't get a lead to hang on to.

Orel said...

Cruz goes 3 for 4. Only time he didn't get a hit? With the bases loaded.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Ellis!

Orel said...

He should be a table-setter.

Paul said...

Hmmmm

Orel said...

A.J. RBI! 2-1 Pads.

Orel said...

Don't be fooled, people.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!! Not Dee Gordon!

Paul said...

Don't steal Dee.

Steve Sax said...

Ellis!

Okay, I'm re-writing the PGT.

Cliff Beefpile said...

No need to worry, our playoff hopes rest on the capable shoulders of Gordon and Punto.



*Cries*

Paul said...

Guess Donnie plays to tie on the road.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Jesus, can we manage a deep fly ball, Ellis?! Please!!!

Orel said...

Dee on third, one out.

Orel said...

Balsley

Paul said...

Dre is getting that lefty.

Franklin Stubbs said...

Who the fuck would ever hire a pitching coach named Balsley?

Orel said...

2-0 count to Mellis.

Orel said...

3-0 count. How are we going to fuck this up?

Steve Sax said...

Can Dee Gordon cross home and then run around the bases again, scoring two?

Orel said...

Walk! 1st & 3rd, one out. I'm still skeptical.

Franklin Stubbs said...

The smart money is on GIDP.

Orel said...

Shocked Andre didn't swing at ball one there.

Paul said...

Drive it Dre. Can't believe they didn't bring in the lefty. They had him warming up quickly.

Orel said...

A strike! Cue sarcastic applause!

Steve Sax said...

Balsley = Apodaca 2.0

(Actually, I still like Apodaca more.)

Orel said...

The first-to-third fake that never works, except when it does.

Paul said...

Fuck that was outside.

Orel said...

Ump wants to go home.

Franklin Stubbs said...

(apodaca)

Orel said...

2-2 count.

Orel said...

Dick Pole

Paul said...

Booooooo!

Franklin Stubbs said...

Cut that balky shit out, Street.

Orel said...

Dammit Dre

Paul said...

Of course. Here we go.

Paul said...

Outside!!!!

Cliff Beefpile said...

Wow, that strike 1 call was bullshit.

Orel said...

Two strikeouts it will be.

Orel said...

PLAYOFFS

Franklin Stubbs said...

Bollocks.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Still hope for that 8 seed.

karina said...

*sighs*

as a t-ball team, they are very good.

but they'll still make it to the playoffs.

Franklin Stubbs said...

Fuck this noise.

Orel said...

We just suck so incredibly much.

Steve Sax said...

PGT up.

rbnlaw said...

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

no PLAYOFFS! for this team.


BTW, I drop the "PLAYOFFS" once the Shards clinch.

The spot, not their asses.

Cliff Beefpile said...

We ain't makin' the playoffs unless the NFL refs come back and the replacement refs start calling balls and strikes.