Josh Beckett (6-13, 5.05) vs. Lance Lynn (14-7, 4.04).
The Dodgers are slumping! The Cardinals are slumping! Yet, due to Rule 1.03 of the Official Rules of Major League baseball:
The winner of the game shall be that team which shall have scored, in accordance with these rules, the greater number of runs at the conclusion of a regulation game.
Yes, someone has to win! And don't forget about the resurgent Brewers and Phillies, who with the Dodgers and Cards are within three games of that sad, sad final wild card spot. Let's call it the mini card.
304 comments:
1 – 200 of 304 Newer› Newest»We keep getting the Wild Draw 4 card.
chip a coo wich
Go O's!
Joe's O's!
Hey, it's a PliM card!
The Cards can go fuck themselves and eat a shit sandwich with dicks on it
OK that's enough from me, until the game thread at least
I want a thread of nothing but FB creatively cursing the Cardinals.
Im not sure about that FB curse thread, might incite riots at embassies all across Missouri.
Three up three down for the Cards in the first?
That's unpossible!
Holy crap, Mattingly finally changed the lineup!
Ellis
Ethier
kemp
aGon
Hanley
Shane
Cruz
Other Ellis
Beckett
Mellis lead off single, followed by An Andre walk.
I'm strangely optimistic.
I know I will be let down...
Yep, Kemp GIdPs. How fitting.
AGon doubles in a run!
But Hanley Ks.
Still, what is that non-zero on the board? Oh, my!
Drinks Kool Aid? Hmmm.
Hanley's defensive range is terrible.
Eric Stephen @truebluela
We are getting Cool-A-Coos in the press box now
Tie game.
Did Molina miss third base?
Has Mark Loretta ever faced Lance Lynn?
Wow, Looper does not look as cool as I had heard.
Victorino leadoff bunt. Of course.
That's why we got you, Shane! For bunt ground outs leading off an inning!
And Jellis strikes out on three pitches. 1-1 through 2.
suck it, Cards! "It" being a cyanide lollipop
I think it's funny/sad that the Phillies have a decent chance of finishing ahead of us after they dump Vic and Blanton on us. They can shove it up their asses too
i guarantee those shitass Yankees will only sell the Dodger games in a plan.
remember when AJ walked almost every time up? Have pitchers adjusted to him and just throw him nothing but strikes or is he swinging more?
siddown, dicknose!
check your balls, fucko!
Beckett with the good ol' 9-3.
FB is in fine fettle tonight.
that is sad
at least he was kind of running
@Orel tell me to stop and I will
that is pretty sad too
Dre back with tres deliquentes - good switch
Dre back with tres deliquentes - good switch
On the contrary, FB. Spill that bile!
Throw strikes to this future Mariner!
Bases juiced. Beckett not sharp.
@Orel who's the blonde sitting all alone in the Mary Hart seats?
Bases juiced. Beckett Beckett
Oops she heard me talking about her and is putting her sweater on
too many tribble-chins and triple-chins on this team
Vin just called you the weak link, Descalso!
Big strikeout
Finish this, Josh!
Don't worry, FB. She's got company now.
that's a relief!
and we got out of the inning
Matty!
OH YEAHHHHHHHHHH
OH YEAH!
DAMMMMIT!
Busted hit & run?
Lancelot Lynn, Secret Chimp?
busted team
Lance Lynn's Lucky Lob.
Evenin' ya'll.
Stupid-ass Jay Cutler. Ruined my fantasy team for the week.
Aaaand, right as I type that AGon strikes out as Kemp is caught stealing. No Cool-A-Coo is gonna ease this pain. Well, maybe...
Kemp nailed.
Ramirez, caught looking AGAIN
"Ramirez caught looking again." —Vin, taking the words out of my mouth
it's better he's off the bases. Hanley can't hit a solo homer with Matty on base
It appears to me that Hanley is lacking that thing that scouts and hitting coaches call an "approach" when he bats
Dodgers, if you have no heart make sure you get a lot of head.
good advice, get it from the Cards!
1-2-3!
wow, i come home from a long day, expecting a blowout, and we're TIED?
made my day. let's see how long it lasts.
that story confirms that Ted Williams was a cnut
that ump really enjoys throwing balls out to the pitcher
Lotta rookies/alt accounts speaking up!
howdy Todd - I don't think we've officially met but welcome! Please excuse my ungentlemanly comments
Victorino in place for the DP.
Dear Shane Victorino
Your yield is much better when you swing the bat, rather than bunt. See?
Signed,
SoSG Sax
Victorino will be a good Yankee next year
Phillies lose!
Cruz has to be making the least amount of money and he's the only one I have confidence in right now.
1-2 to Cruz
stop swinging at everything
Is that dude hitting on the hot girl in the sweater?
excellent - Tolleson...
How full is it tonight, Gnomes?
I didn't make it.
Cruz chases a sinker. Boo.
Well, so much for that.
he's definitely working his way over
that was never near the strike zone - don't swing at it
baddest man alive?
Very weak sauce there Jellis.
uhoh two guys macking on our girl now
You'd better take this at-bat seriously, Beckett, it's not like you're gonna get run support. And run this time, dipshit!
three guys!
pleasure to know ya, Fred.
don't feel bad about your comments, btw. i've made MORE than my fair share these past couple month.
Check this out! We shake up the lineup, and we still strand runners!
Greetings, humans!
She's attracting douchebags like moths to the flame.
Does Stanford have a chance vs USC?
Cool-A-Coo review, Nomo?
At least we cleared Victorino, Cruz, Jellis and the pitchers spot.
Is Vin wearing a World Series ring?
Now if we could clear Mehllis, Dre, Matty, Agon and Hanley, we'd be in Schaefer city
Thx Vin, but I'd rather not get back to this one.
Sax, it's definitely a blanket crowd. Full, but not jam-packed.
blowup inning
get him out now
Leadoff double. Don't think Beckett's going to wriggle off the hook this time.
Tolleson would only be gas though
Now she's surrounded!
Paco!
She'll be pregnant by the seventh-inning stretch!
I guess that's better than being pregnant by those d-nozzles
nice crowds in the pavillions
about to get a souvenir
Molina's batted ball hits Allen Craig. Hey, that's a Dodger play!
Nice stroke of luck there with Molina's hit nailing Craig
Now I see why the Cards suck as bad as the dodgers
@Gnomes: it's not raining but I feel like these blankets will soon be wet
(cries)
Beckett, out of steam at 5 1/3.
uncceptable
Paco
Paco
Man
I want to be a
Paco Man
Why does Beethoven need to drink so much soda?
All right, Paco, let's make this tough on you. One out, two on.
Del Paco
Paco Bell
Donnie's Pacos
Colbert Super Paco
Paco full o sunshine
You guys still have that Kemp?
After Paco let's these runners score, that'll nicely keep Beckett's ERA close to 5
Paco favors the flat brim.
The Pink Paco.
Jeff Kent? Now we're just getting trolled.
Sax, how does Beethoven hear what they're doing?
Will our girl choose Bachelor #1, #2 or #3?
Jeff Kent: went to the Philippines for the underage sex, stayed for Survivor
Argh, so close.
Uribe would have had that
Re: Cool-A-Coos
Harsher cinnamon aftertaste than I remember (though I think the last one I had was 20 years ago), but very good. Price should be lower, though. $5.75 is steep.
Your first baseman looks bitchin.
Jumpaco!
Good job, Paco!
Cliffy wins the Paco Pun Contest!
nice work, 2Pac!
was gonna post about how good it was getting out of the jam, but instead i'm gonna post about that hideous, coronary-inducing burger that Denny's has pushed out of its disgusting maw.
there was a pun contest?
Some other team missing Furcal!
I'll take it.
I hate Lance Lynn...
This game will end in a tie.
uhh time to lay off the sinker on the inside part of the plate
Kemp home run here.
Dre!
Matty double play?
Ethier single!
Yes, we're celebrating a single!
good call, Pauly!
that was the pitch
Matty's pulling way off the ball
Matty hasn't been the same ever since he started dating the girl behind home plate.
here comes that sinker
Now the soda guy is proposing to her.
Wait, was that a foul ball!?
@Orel since the 4th inning you mean?
I count that as a homerun these days.
There's more douchebags around her than at a yeasty vagina convention.
Come on dodgers
@Cliff - they had some great seminars this year
Gonzo coaxes the walk, that's good
Two on!
take the walk!
"I don't know what he did in Boston, but ever since he's come to the Dodgers, that pitch has given him a bad time." - Vin
seems like A LOT of pitches have given him a bad time so far.
i hate being pitches behind
Yes!!! A walk. We got a bonafide rally going on here!
3-run Hanley jack here
Dodgers win all 19 remaining games
6.64 total points between Cutler and Brandon Marshall for my FF team. Suck my balls, Bears offense! I get enough ineptitude from the Dodgers.
Hanley sure watches a lot of pitches
"ok so just get two strikes on him and then throw it down the middle"
Hanley...almost.
sweet tapdancin' Jesus.
Dammit. If he had hit that to left, Holliday would have taken that off his nuts
So close. Guess that means they go 18-1.
All right, I'm sold. Let's go to Hooters, right now.
@Paul, I like your thinking
That Hooters commercial was perhaps the worst commercial ever.
@my fellow flamer:
Matt Kemp will not hit another HR for the rest of the season.
We are playing like a bunch of broke-dick dogs
and the Cards are some broke-dick cats
Wow, Paco's still in?
So much for him being the LOOGY.
oh man she's free - swoop it!
So that's it...our offense has whiskey dick?
Unnecessary Tweet of the Day:
Los Angeles Dodgers @Dodgers
Hanley rides a potential three-run shot to the warning track, but it's not enough. We're tied 1-1 through 6 at Chavez Ravine.
in
That would be sweet if Gnomes was macking on her.
so she liked the old bald guys...
Paco 1U!
John Jay Jagermeistershits. His name is my name, too.
at least we have an out off of the botched bunt.
i was afraid this was the first sign of an a-Paco-lypse.
I forgot Neeebs is the psychic of the band. Or was that psycho.
i immediately regret posting that.
To her credit, she seems to be friendly to everyone.
Paco's delivery looks funky from up here.
Old bald guys in salmon-colored polos, what's not to love?
"i immediately regret posting that." —SoSG motto
Paco's got that weird hitch in his delivery.
@Gnomes on TV it reminds me of Scott Radinsky's delivery
Paco's funky delivery. Sounds like a good band name.
Paco to Beli.
Paco done. In comes El Guapo
Oh hey, I can see who you guys are talking about now.
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