Thursday, September 13, 2012

Game 144 Thread: Sept. 13 vs. Cards, 7p

Josh Beckett (6-13, 5.05) vs. Lance Lynn (14-7, 4.04).

The Dodgers are slumping! The Cardinals are slumping! Yet, due to Rule 1.03 of the Official Rules of Major League baseball:

The winner of the game shall be that team which shall have scored, in accordance with these rules, the greater number of runs at the conclusion of a regulation game.

Yes, someone has to win! And don't forget about the resurgent Brewers and Phillies, who with the Dodgers and Cards are within three games of that sad, sad final wild card spot. Let's call it the mini card.

316 comments:

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Hideo Nomo said...

We keep getting the Wild Draw 4 card.

Spank Horst said...

chip a coo wich

Orel said...

Go O's!

Orel said...

Joe's O's!

Steve Sax said...

Hey, it's a PliM card!

Fred's Brim said...

The Cards can go fuck themselves and eat a shit sandwich with dicks on it

Fred's Brim said...

OK that's enough from me, until the game thread at least

Steve Sax said...

"One shit sandwich to go.

Would you like dicks with that?"

Hideo Nomo said...

I want a thread of nothing but FB creatively cursing the Cardinals.

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Im not sure about that FB curse thread, might incite riots at embassies all across Missouri.

Steve Sax said...

Three up three down for the Cards in the first?

That's unpossible!

Steve Sax said...

Holy crap, Mattingly finally changed the lineup!

Ellis
Ethier
kemp
aGon
Hanley
Shane
Cruz
Other Ellis
Beckett

Steve Sax said...

Mellis lead off single, followed by An Andre walk.

I'm strangely optimistic.

I know I will be let down...

Steve Sax said...

Yep, Kemp GIdPs. How fitting.

Steve Sax said...

AGon doubles in a run!

But Hanley Ks.

Still, what is that non-zero on the board? Oh, my!

Orel said...

Drinks Kool Aid? Hmmm.

Orel said...

Hanley's defensive range is terrible.

Orel said...

Eric Stephen ‏@truebluela

We are getting Cool-A-Coos in the press box now

Orel said...

Tie game.

Orel said...

Did Molina miss third base?

Orel said...

Has Mark Loretta ever faced Lance Lynn?

Orel said...

Wow, Looper does not look as cool as I had heard.

Orel said...

Victorino leadoff bunt. Of course.

Steve Sax said...

That's why we got you, Shane! For bunt ground outs leading off an inning!

Steve Sax said...

And Jellis strikes out on three pitches. 1-1 through 2.

Fred's Brim said...

suck it, Cards! "It" being a cyanide lollipop

Fred's Brim said...

I think it's funny/sad that the Phillies have a decent chance of finishing ahead of us after they dump Vic and Blanton on us. They can shove it up their asses too

Fred's Brim said...

i guarantee those shitass Yankees will only sell the Dodger games in a plan.

Fred's Brim said...

remember when AJ walked almost every time up? Have pitchers adjusted to him and just throw him nothing but strikes or is he swinging more?

Fred's Brim said...

siddown, dicknose!

Fred's Brim said...

check your balls, fucko!

Orel said...

Beckett with the good ol' 9-3.

Orel said...

FB is in fine fettle tonight.

Fred's Brim said...

that is sad

Fred's Brim said...

at least he was kind of running

Fred's Brim said...

@Orel tell me to stop and I will

Fred's Brim said...

that is pretty sad too

Fred's Brim said...

Dre back with tres deliquentes - good switch

Fred's Brim said...

Dre back with tres deliquentes - good switch

Orel said...

On the contrary, FB. Spill that bile!

Fred's Brim said...

Throw strikes to this future Mariner!

Orel said...

Bases juiced. Beckett not sharp.

Fred's Brim said...

@Orel who's the blonde sitting all alone in the Mary Hart seats?

Fred's Brim said...

Bases juiced. Beckett Beckett

Fred's Brim said...

Oops she heard me talking about her and is putting her sweater on

Fred's Brim said...

too many tribble-chins and triple-chins on this team

Orel said...

Vin just called you the weak link, Descalso!

Fred's Brim said...

Big strikeout
Finish this, Josh!

Orel said...

Don't worry, FB. She's got company now.

Fred's Brim said...

Fuck you, Oquendo, and your unfunny supporters, the Sklar Brothers

Fred's Brim said...

that's a relief!

and we got out of the inning

Fred's Brim said...

lucky asshole. throw strikes to the goddamn pitcher

Fred's Brim said...

Matty!

Orel said...

OH YEAHHHHHHHHHH

Fred's Brim said...

OH YEAH!

Fred's Brim said...

DAMMMMIT!

Orel said...

Busted hit & run?

Fred's Brim said...

Lancelot Lynn, Secret Chimp?

Fred's Brim said...

busted team

Paul said...

Lance Lynn's Lucky Lob.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Evenin' ya'll.

Stupid-ass Jay Cutler. Ruined my fantasy team for the week.

Aaaand, right as I type that AGon strikes out as Kemp is caught stealing. No Cool-A-Coo is gonna ease this pain. Well, maybe...

Steve Sax said...

Kemp nailed.

Steve Sax said...

Ramirez, caught looking AGAIN

Orel said...

"Ramirez caught looking again." —Vin, taking the words out of my mouth

Fred's Brim said...

it's better he's off the bases. Hanley can't hit a solo homer with Matty on base

Fred's Brim said...

It appears to me that Hanley is lacking that thing that scouts and hitting coaches call an "approach" when he bats

Headless Horseman said...

Dodgers, if you have no heart make sure you get a lot of head.

Fred's Brim said...

fake-ass Carpenter. if I was a carpenter, I would build you a box, nail you in it and throw you off a cliff

Fred's Brim said...

good advice, get it from the Cards!

Orel said...

1-2-3!

Hollandsworth said...

wow, i come home from a long day, expecting a blowout, and we're TIED?

made my day. let's see how long it lasts.

Fred's Brim said...

that story confirms that Ted Williams was a cnut

Fred's Brim said...

that ump really enjoys throwing balls out to the pitcher

Orel said...

Lotta rookies/alt accounts speaking up!

Fred's Brim said...

howdy Todd - I don't think we've officially met but welcome! Please excuse my ungentlemanly comments

Orel said...

Victorino in place for the DP.

Steve Sax said...

Dear Shane Victorino

Your yield is much better when you swing the bat, rather than bunt. See?

Signed,
SoSG Sax

Fred's Brim said...

Victorino will be a good Yankee next year

Orel said...

Phillies lose!

Cliff Beefpile said...

Cruz has to be making the least amount of money and he's the only one I have confidence in right now.

Steve Sax said...

1-2 to Cruz

Fred's Brim said...

stop swinging at everything

Orel said...

Is that dude hitting on the hot girl in the sweater?

Fred's Brim said...

excellent - Tolleson...

Steve Sax said...

How full is it tonight, Gnomes?

I didn't make it.

Steve Sax said...

Cruz chases a sinker. Boo.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Well, so much for that.

Fred's Brim said...

he's definitely working his way over

Fred's Brim said...

that was never near the strike zone - don't swing at it

Fred's Brim said...

baddest man alive?

Steve Sax said...

Very weak sauce there Jellis.

Fred's Brim said...

uhoh two guys macking on our girl now

Fred's Brim said...

that is more interesting than the game

Cliff Beefpile said...

You'd better take this at-bat seriously, Beckett, it's not like you're gonna get run support. And run this time, dipshit!

Fred's Brim said...

three guys!

Hollandsworth said...

pleasure to know ya, Fred.

don't feel bad about your comments, btw. i've made MORE than my fair share these past couple month.

Steve Sax said...

Check this out! We shake up the lineup, and we still strand runners!

Hideo Nomo said...

Greetings, humans!

Orel said...

She's attracting douchebags like moths to the flame.

Fred's Brim said...

Does Stanford have a chance vs USC?

Orel said...

Cool-A-Coo review, Nomo?

Fred's Brim said...

At least we cleared Victorino, Cruz, Jellis and the pitchers spot.

Orel said...

Is Vin wearing a World Series ring?

Fred's Brim said...

Now if we could clear Mehllis, Dre, Matty, Agon and Hanley, we'd be in Schaefer city

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Thx Vin, but I'd rather not get back to this one.

Hideo Nomo said...

Sax, it's definitely a blanket crowd. Full, but not jam-packed.

Fred's Brim said...

blowup inning
get him out now

Orel said...

Leadoff double. Don't think Beckett's going to wriggle off the hook this time.

Fred's Brim said...

Tolleson would only be gas though

Orel said...

Now she's surrounded!

Fred's Brim said...

Paco!

Fred's Brim said...

She'll be pregnant by the seventh-inning stretch!

Fred's Brim said...

I guess that's better than being pregnant by those d-nozzles

Hideo Nomo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fred's Brim said...

nice crowds in the pavillions

Fred's Brim said...

about to get a souvenir

Orel said...

Molina's batted ball hits Allen Craig. Hey, that's a Dodger play!

Steve Sax said...

Nice stroke of luck there with Molina's hit nailing Craig

Fred's Brim said...

nice work, Gregg Fucking Jeffries

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Now I see why the Cards suck as bad as the dodgers

Steve Sax said...

@Gnomes: it's not raining but I feel like these blankets will soon be wet

(cries)

Steve Sax said...

Beckett, out of steam at 5 1/3.

Fred's Brim said...

uncceptable

Orel said...

Paco
Paco
Man
I want to be a
Paco Man

Steve Sax said...

Why does Beethoven need to drink so much soda?

Steve Sax said...

All right, Paco, let's make this tough on you. One out, two on.

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Del Paco
Paco Bell
Donnie's Pacos
Colbert Super Paco
Paco full o sunshine

Jeff Kent said...

You guys still have that Kemp?

Fred's Brim said...

After Paco let's these runners score, that'll nicely keep Beckett's ERA close to 5

Orel said...

Paco favors the flat brim.

Jeff Kent said...

The Pink Paco.

Orel said...

Jeff Kent? Now we're just getting trolled.

Hideo Nomo said...

Sax, how does Beethoven hear what they're doing?

Orel said...

Will our girl choose Bachelor #1, #2 or #3?

Fred's Brim said...

Jeff Kent: went to the Philippines for the underage sex, stayed for Survivor

Orel said...

Argh, so close.

Fred's Brim said...

Uribe would have had that

Hideo Nomo said...

Re: Cool-A-Coos

Harsher cinnamon aftertaste than I remember (though I think the last one I had was 20 years ago), but very good. Price should be lower, though. $5.75 is steep.

Jeff Kent said...

Your first baseman looks bitchin.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Jumpaco!

Orel said...

Good job, Paco!

Orel said...

Cliffy wins the Paco Pun Contest!

Fred's Brim said...

nice work, 2Pac!

Hollandsworth said...

was gonna post about how good it was getting out of the jam, but instead i'm gonna post about that hideous, coronary-inducing burger that Denny's has pushed out of its disgusting maw.

Fred's Brim said...

there was a pun contest?

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Nice job junior! Time for the bats to come alive. Fucking shit!

Paul said...

Some other team missing Furcal!

I'll take it.

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

I hate Lance Lynn...

Orel said...

This game will end in a tie.

Fred's Brim said...

uhh time to lay off the sinker on the inside part of the plate

Paul said...

Kemp home run here.

Fred's Brim said...

Dre!
Matty double play?

Orel said...

Ethier single!

Orel said...

Yes, we're celebrating a single!

Fred's Brim said...

good call, Pauly!

Fred's Brim said...

that was the pitch
Matty's pulling way off the ball

Orel said...

Matty hasn't been the same ever since he started dating the girl behind home plate.

Fred's Brim said...

here comes that sinker

Orel said...

Now the soda guy is proposing to her.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Wait, was that a foul ball!?

Fred's Brim said...

@Orel since the 4th inning you mean?

Paul said...

I count that as a homerun these days.

Cliff Beefpile said...

There's more douchebags around her than at a yeasty vagina convention.

Steve Sax said...

Come on dodgers

Fred's Brim said...

@Cliff - they had some great seminars this year

Steve Sax said...

Gonzo coaxes the walk, that's good

Paul said...

Two on!

Fred's Brim said...

take the walk!

Hollandsworth said...

"I don't know what he did in Boston, but ever since he's come to the Dodgers, that pitch has given him a bad time." - Vin

seems like A LOT of pitches have given him a bad time so far.

Fred's Brim said...

i hate being pitches behind

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Yes!!! A walk. We got a bonafide rally going on here!

Steve Sax said...

3-run Hanley jack here

Dodgers win all 19 remaining games

Cliff Beefpile said...

6.64 total points between Cutler and Brandon Marshall for my FF team. Suck my balls, Bears offense! I get enough ineptitude from the Dodgers.

Steve Sax said...

Hanley sure watches a lot of pitches

Fred's Brim said...

"ok so just get two strikes on him and then throw it down the middle"

Orel said...

Hanley...almost.

Hollandsworth said...

sweet tapdancin' Jesus.

Steve Sax said...

Dammit. If he had hit that to left, Holliday would have taken that off his nuts

Paul said...

So close. Guess that means they go 18-1.

Steve Sax said...

All right, I'm sold. Let's go to Hooters, right now.

Steve Sax said...

@Paul, I like your thinking

Orel said...

That Hooters commercial was perhaps the worst commercial ever.

Ñeeebs said...

@my fellow flamer:

Matt Kemp will not hit another HR for the rest of the season.

Fred's Brim said...

We are playing like a bunch of broke-dick dogs

and the Cards are some broke-dick cats

Orel said...

Wow, Paco's still in?

Orel said...

So much for him being the LOOGY.

Fred's Brim said...

oh man she's free - swoop it!

Cliff Beefpile said...

So that's it...our offense has whiskey dick?

Orel said...

Unnecessary Tweet of the Day:

Los Angeles Dodgers ‏@Dodgers

Hanley rides a potential three-run shot to the warning track, but it's not enough. We're tied 1-1 through 6 at Chavez Ravine.

Fred's Brim said...

in

Orel said...

All the douchebags are gone!

Orel said...

That would be sweet if Gnomes was macking on her.

Fred's Brim said...

so she liked the old bald guys...

Orel said...

Paco 1U!

Cliff Beefpile said...

John Jay Jagermeistershits. His name is my name, too.

Hollandsworth said...

at least we have an out off of the botched bunt.

i was afraid this was the first sign of an a-Paco-lypse.

Paul said...

I forgot Neeebs is the psychic of the band. Or was that psycho.

Hollandsworth said...

i immediately regret posting that.

Orel said...

To her credit, she seems to be friendly to everyone.

Hideo Nomo said...

Paco's delivery looks funky from up here.

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