Over his last three appareances, Dodger closer Javy Guerra has not been the same. But the signs, the true signs of things amiss, go back much further than that.
Sure, Javy's first blown save of the year came on April 17 in Milwaukee, ending his streak of sterling appearances (five saves and a win in six appearances). Then Guerra put together two more saves on April 19 and 20 to put most fears to rest.
But over the last three appearances, Javy has been a mess. First, on April 24, he entered with the game tied 3-3 against the Braves, only to give up the game-winning run. The following night was even worse, when he gave up five straight hits to the Braves and three earned runs and, worst of all, took a comebacker in the jaw in the loss. Finally, in a wild one Saturday night against the Nationals, Guerra gave up another earned run and allows two runs total, in a game we were extremely lucky to tie in the ninth, let alone win in the tenth. In all the post-game revelry, the state of Guerra was forgotten.
However, intrepid Dodger fans know what's really going on: Javy Guerra is afflicted with the Snuggie Curse.
Go ahead and laugh, sure. Guerra should be "naturally balanced" with all that logo treatment plastered on him, right? However, the facts of this case reveal the truth.
First, let's go back and look at the Snuggie-related timeline:
- April 12: Guerra is unveiled as the short-straw-drawing sap for the commercial advertising the Dodgers' upcoming campaign, Dodgers Snuggie night. Guerra tries desperately to make a smile, then is forced to tell a fish story. Even he knows something is up.
- April 16: Guerra tries desperately to rehab image. Even the powers of the Dark Lord of the Sith cannot defeat the Snuggie Curse.
- April 18: All hell starts breaking loose as Snuggie Night finally arrives. Javy Guerra does not make an appearance in that game; some have speculated it was because the Snuggie itself was already sticking its evil tentacles into Guerra's body.
Now let's correlate those dates with those of Guerra's downfall. Remember, the signs of Guerra's fraying started with his first blown save on April 17, five days after his television spot debuted. Then, once the actual Dodger Snuggie promotion happened, all hell broke loose: blown saves, errant pitches, comebackers to the head. Ever since Javy got into that backwards robe thingy, he's been cursed.
Oh yes, this is the Snuggie Curse, all right. Plain and simple.
And really, the Dodgers should have known better. What, you haven't heard of the Snuggie Curse?Weezer went all Snuggie-licious on us? That was in November 2009. One short month later, the Weezer tour bus crashed on the interstate, leaving frontman Rivers Cuomo with three cracked ribs (among other injuries) and causing the cancellation of their tour. The Snuggie is to blame. What else could it be? None other than James Loney. Oh sure, we thought it was humorous too, at first. But this was before Loney went on to have a putrid first half in 2011, not breaking the .250 batting average mark until June 12 (Loney finished decently strong to end the year with a .288 average). It took Loney almost three months to wear off the curse last year (no details as to whether Loney was sleeping in his snuggie during this past offseason, either).
We won't be able to wait three months for Guerra to get back to fighting form. That's why we're calling on you, the SoSG readers, to help break this Snuggie Curse and save Javy Guerra from a horrible first half.
If any of you have a 2012 Dodgers Snuggie that you'd be willing to sacrifice to the baseball gods, send us pictures or video, proving your sacrifice. We'll publicize the results. Then, and only then, will the Javy Guerra we know and love return.
Somewhere under that sleeved fleece canopy lies the heart and soul of a true closer. We need to band together to break the Snuggie Curse, pull that good man back out from under that tent, and into the blue light.
Not that we're conspiracy theorists, but for earlier SoSG curse content, here's The Dane Cook Dodgers Curse; The Wheaties Fuel Curse (Part 1, 2, and 3; and The Eric Collins Curse 2009 and 2010. Nah, we're not paranoid. Nosiree.