Aaaannnnd Here We Go with the Injuries

Per Ken Gurnick, Kid K out with an inflamed back, and scratched from his scheduled Sunday start.

LOS ANGELES -- Cy Young Award winner Clayton Kershaw was scratched from Sunday night's start because of an inflamed teres major muscle, which stabilizes the upper arm near the upper back.

Kershaw underwent an MRI on Wednesday that showed the inflammation. A Dodgers news release indicated that Kershaw complained of discomfort playing catch at Tuesday's workout. He wouldn't say if he felt the discomfort while throwing 102 pitches in the season-opening win in Australia.

"Whatever Donnie said is what we'll go with," said Kershaw, referring to manager Don Mattingly, who said the first the club heard about the injury was Tuesday.

Kershaw will miss Sunday night's game with the Padres.

And KangaRyu has toenail fungus or a hangnail or some shit.

Ryu played light catch during the Dodgers' workout on Tuesday, but didn't participate in fielding practice. He was scheduled to see a podiatrist later in the day. Ryu's spot would likely be taken by Dan Haren or Paul Maholm.

"Yeah, I'm concerned," Mattingly said. "It's not a long-term thing, but it could set us back and make us change the rotation we've been talking about."

To go all Karina/positive with my thinking, at least it's happening now and not down the stretch. We're all just sensitive since we've been hit with the inure bug repeatedly this last couple of seasons. And because they have to start tossing out names like Paul Maholm and Dan Haren.

In non-inury but somewhat notable news, looks like Javy Guerra (White Sox) and Rule 5 Draft acquisition Seth Rosin (Rangers) are in the Dodgers' rearview mirror. Javy pitched some good games for us two seasons ago and seemed to be an all-around good guy. Good luck, Javy.

Molly Knight, Spinner

God bless Molly Knight. Not only can she spin a yarn, but her focus on Los Angeles sports also allowed her to describe what Dodgers Javy Guerra and Luis Cruz are spinning, as well:

Javy Guerra
Pitcher, Dodgers
"Son de la Negra," Mariachi Vargas de Tecalitl�n
As told to Molly Knight

My parents are Mexican, and our fan base is pretty heavily populated with Hispanics, so it is really cool to run out to something and have everyone just be really loud. The first time I ran out to "Son de la Negra," I stepped on the mound and looked up at the Jumbotron and saw a whole bunch of fans dancing around in sombreros. And I thought, Wow. Damn. This is fun.

Everyone has embraced my song, and I get so much love from the fans for it. They're just really proud. They tell me they can't believe I used it and how they're really proud I've honored my heritage.

I don't want to change my song, because everyone embraces it, but I might because I have a different role this year. Now that I am no longer the closer and I won't be coming into the game in the ninth inning, I feel like I can mix it up a little bit. I really like Mumford & Sons right now -- their energy is awesome. I love their loudness and their aliveness. It's unreal.

Luis Cruz
Third base, Dodgers
Various Latin songs
As told to Molly Knight

I'm a Mexican guy, and my music helps me remember home. When I'm in the clubhouse or on the way to the ballpark, singing helps me forget. I like a lot of U.S. music, but it's important to me to play music from my culture when I'm playing. I asked all my fans on Twitter what I should choose, and they picked my song for me. Honestly, I think they're more into me because my music makes them feel like I'm one of them. They always try to hug me, and they tell me it makes them remember home.

A lot of fans here are from my area in Sonora, Mexico, too, so it's special. I choose music from there, and it feels good to have that connection. And all of the fans seem to like the Latin music even if they don't know what they're singing.

David Ortiz, Michael Young, and Yoenis Cespedes are also mentioned in the piece. But it's the Dodgers' coverage which is the best!

Jansen To Stay On Thinners; Uribe Still Fat

Cross your fingers for Kenley Jansen, whom Steve Dilbeck says is targeting a Sept 17 return:

Kenley Jansen to stay on blood thinners 10 more days, hopes to return Sept. 17; plans offseason surgery to fix heart problem.

— Steve Dilbeck (@stevedilbeck) September 4, 2012

In other news, Javy Guerra was placed on the 15-day DL with an oblique muscle strain, retroactive to 9/3. Josh Wall recalled from Albuquerque.

Game 134 Thread: Sept. 1 vs. Snakes, 6p

Donnie doesn't toss softballs during team meetings.

Josh Beckett (5-12, 5.21) vs. Tyler Skaggs (1-1, 2.92).

Did you hear Don Mattingly held another team meeting after last night's loss? We hear his speech went something like this:

"Okay, guys, something's gotta change. There's only thirty twenty-nine games left in the regular season. We've lost seven eight in a row to the Diamondbacks, and mustering only five six hits and zero three runs over nine eleven innings is completely unacceptable.

"Now, I know it looks like we've lost a valuable contributor in Kenley Jansen Chad Billingsley, but that doesn't mean you just give up. Pitching reinforcement is on the way, with Matt Guerrier Javy Guerra soon to join us.

"So get out there and give it your all. You won't want 2012 to be as disappointing as 2010 2011, do you?"

Post-Game 121 Thread: Slugging Percentage

DODGERS 6, BRAVES 2

This game got off to an ugly start: Aaron Harang walked three and gave up a double in the first inning, yet somehow escaped by giving up only one run.

Then things got weird. Hanley Ramirez hit a solo home run off Ben Sheets. Okay, great news, but hardly a shock.

Then James Loney homered. Sure, he homered two days ago against the Pirates, but this was still unexpected.

Then Luis Cruz homered. That right: four pitches, three homers. Perhaps conscious of the backlash against Hanley's "I see you" gag on the road, Cruz attempted a half-hearted goggles gesture upon crossing home plate but quickly put it away, smiling sheepishly. It was a great character moment for an unlikely contributor.

In the sixth, Hanley put it away with a three-run homer. The Dodgers had four hits today; all four were home runs.

Harang made it stand up, scattering four hits and eight strikeouts (and five walks) over 6 2/3 innings. Interim manager Trey Hillman put his stamp on the game, removing Javy Guerra mid-count in the eighth in favor of Shawn Tolleson. But it all worked out, with Kenley Jansen getting four outs (and giving up a meaningless homer) to end it.

Dodgers ensure a winning road trip (6-3) with one more to go tomorrow. Unfortunately the Padres folded again for the Giants, so the Dodgers are still in second place by half a game. Morning baseball tomorrow!

1, 2 & 4: Scott Cunningham/Getty Images

Post-Game 96 Thread: Dodgers Stagger to Series Sweep

It may have been a little Mickey Mouse, but the Dodgers swept the Mets.

DODGERS 8, METS 3 (12)

Nate Eovaldi didn't go deep enough, the bats wasted opportunities, Javy Guerra still isn't right, the umps blew calls — and still the Dodgers emerged with a third straight victory at Citi Field. Don't let the final score fool you — the Dodgers were leading 3-2 in the ninth, when the Mets tied it up off Guerra.

It stayed 3-3 until the twelfth, when the Mets walked Andre Ethier to load the bases for Matt Treanor, who singled home two. Luis Cruz followed with an RBI and Adam Kennedy (!) cleared the bases with a two-RBI double.

Some notable oddities: Don Mattingly brought in Clayton Kershaw in the eleventh to sacrifice Ethier to second; Kershaw delivered. Rookie Josh Wall made his major-league debut in the bottom of the inning, allowing only a single to David Wright, who was caught stealing by A.J. Ellis. Wall picked up the win.

Giants lose, so their lead shrinks to 1.5 games. Dodgers travel to St. Louis next.

Rancho Cucamonga: Where It's At

It's the hotbed of Dodgers in rehab! And Matt Kemp, Mark Ellis, and Javy Guerra are all showing signs of improvement:

Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder Matt Kemp began his rehab assignment Tuesday with a two-hit performance at Single-A Rancho Cucamonga.

Serving as the Quakes' designated hitter, Kemp singled to left field in his first at-bat Tuesday and scored from third base later in the first inning. The two-time All-Star walked in the second inning and struck out in the fourth before capping his night with a line-drive single to right field in the seventh.

Kemp had been sidelined since May 30, when he aggravated his left hamstring and returned to the disabled list. He plans to participate in next Monday's All-Star Home Run Derby and is expected to return to the Dodgers' lineup on July 13 against San Diego. [...]

Dodgers second baseman Mark Ellis and reliever Javy Guerra also appeared in Tuesday's game as part of their respective rehab assignments.

Ellis, who could be activated from the DL as early as Wednesday, had a pair of singles and scored a run for the Quakes. Guerra tossed a scoreless inning as Rancho Cucamonga's starter.

Post-Game 42 Thread: Dodgers Explode on Snakes

DODGERS 6, DIAMONDBACKS 1

Tonight was kind of an odd night:

• Prime Ticket had a technical issue that prevented them from broadcasting commercials for much of the game. (It was wonderful.)
  
• Sportscaster (and good son) Patrick O'Neal apologized to us on Twitter. (Unnecessarily, as he's a prince just for plugging the the #AJ2KC bandwagon.)
  
• The Kempless Dodgers hit three home runs: Matt Treanor had a two-run homer in the second, Andre Ethier had a solo shot in the seventh and James Loney had a two-run homer in the eighth. (Justin Sellers also contributed with an RBI-triple.)

Chris Capuano wasn't dominant but he was effective, getting his sixth win by allowing four hits and one run over six innings. He helped his own cause by spearing a nasty Jason Kubel line drive to end the fourth, just as the Snakes were getting ready to explode from their tin can.

Ronald Belisario, Javy Guerra and Jamey Wright provided relief as the 29-13 Dodgers continue their MLB-leading ways. Join us for another 6:30PM start tomorrow!

A Mother's Day Surprise from the New Owners

Dodger players are welcoming fans at the gates this morning! Here's @JavyGuerra54 and Aaron Harang signing autographs! twitter.com/Dodgers/status…

— Los Angeles Dodgers (@Dodgers) May 13, 2012

Lost in the craziness of yesterday's game was a very cool move by the new bosses. I don't know if this extra face time with the players was just a Mother's Day thing, a Sunday thing, or if we'll start seeing something like this every game. Whatever the case, it's definitely clear that Walter, Kasten, Magic, and Co. are already taking steps to improve the overall fan experience.

Oh, and...

The Cy Young Award Winner @ClaytonKersh22 is out here too. #ThinkBlue twitter.com/Dodgers/status…

— Los Angeles Dodgers (@Dodgers) May 13, 2012

Nice.

Post-Game 24 Thread: Death To The Snuggie Curse!

DODGERS 7, ROCKIES 6

Dee Gordon, Andre Ethier (three-run shot), and AJEllis (two-run shot) all went deep at Coors Field, stoking the Dodgers to a 7-0 lead to which they barely clung for the victory. Ted Lilly went 6.0 strong and only gave up a two-run HR to Carlos Gonzalez, and even though Josh Lindblom got taken to school (0.2 IP, 3 ER including a HR and two doubles), Scott Elbert got us out of the seventh inning without further damage.

Kenley Jansen gave up one run in the eighth after letting Troy Tulowitzki triple (he was sacrificed in by Todd Helton), opening the door for Snuggie-Cursed closer Javy Guerra to enter the game. Guerra gave up a one-out single, with that runner advancing to scoring position on a passed ball, and on to third on a grounder to MEllis. But with the tying run 90 feet away, Guerra turned an 2-0 count on Gonzalez into a swinging K on a nasty slider, preserving the Dodgers' victory.

Dodgers improve to 9-3 in one-run games. Consider the Snuggie Curse over!

Javy Guerra And The Snuggie Curse

Over his last three appareances, Dodger closer Javy Guerra has not been the same. But the signs, the true signs of things amiss, go back much further than that.

Sure, Javy's first blown save of the year came on April 17 in Milwaukee, ending his streak of sterling appearances (five saves and a win in six appearances). Then Guerra put together two more saves on April 19 and 20 to put most fears to rest.

But over the last three appearances, Javy has been a mess. First, on April 24, he entered with the game tied 3-3 against the Braves, only to give up the game-winning run. The following night was even worse, when he gave up five straight hits to the Braves and three earned runs and, worst of all, took a comebacker in the jaw in the loss. Finally, in a wild one Saturday night against the Nationals, Guerra gave up another earned run and allows two runs total, in a game we were extremely lucky to tie in the ninth, let alone win in the tenth. In all the post-game revelry, the state of Guerra was forgotten.

However, intrepid Dodger fans know what's really going on: Javy Guerra is afflicted with the Snuggie Curse.

Go ahead and laugh, sure. Guerra should be "naturally balanced" with all that logo treatment plastered on him, right? However, the facts of this case reveal the truth.

First, let's go back and look at the Snuggie-related timeline:

• April 12: Guerra is unveiled as the short-straw-drawing sap for the commercial advertising the Dodgers' upcoming campaign, Dodgers Snuggie night. Guerra tries desperately to make a smile, then is forced to tell a fish story. Even he knows something is up.
• April 16: Guerra tries desperately to rehab image. Even the powers of the Dark Lord of the Sith cannot defeat the Snuggie Curse.
• April 18: All hell starts breaking loose as Snuggie Night finally arrives. Javy Guerra does not make an appearance in that game; some have speculated it was because the Snuggie itself was already sticking its evil tentacles into Guerra's body.

Now let's correlate those dates with those of Guerra's downfall. Remember, the signs of Guerra's fraying started with his first blown save on April 17, five days after his television spot debuted. Then, once the actual Dodger Snuggie promotion happened, all hell broke loose: blown saves, errant pitches, comebackers to the head. Ever since Javy got into that backwards robe thingy, he's been cursed.

Oh yes, this is the Snuggie Curse, all right. Plain and simple.

And really, the Dodgers should have known better. What, you haven't heard of the Snuggie Curse?

Remember when Weezer went all Snuggie-licious on us? That was in November 2009. One short month later, the Weezer tour bus crashed on the interstate, leaving frontman Rivers Cuomo with three cracked ribs (among other injuries) and causing the cancellation of their tour. The Snuggie is to blame. What else could it be?

Meanwhile, closer to home, the Dodgers have a more prominent case study. Remember which Dodger hawked a Dodgers Snuggie last year in a similar television spot? None other than James Loney. Oh sure, we thought it was humorous too, at first. But this was before Loney went on to have a putrid first half in 2011, not breaking the .250 batting average mark until June 12 (Loney finished decently strong to end the year with a .288 average). It took Loney almost three months to wear off the curse last year (no details as to whether Loney was sleeping in his snuggie during this past offseason, either).

We won't be able to wait three months for Guerra to get back to fighting form. That's why we're calling on you, the SoSG readers, to help break this Snuggie Curse and save Javy Guerra from a horrible first half.

If any of you have a 2012 Dodgers Snuggie that you'd be willing to sacrifice to the baseball gods, send us pictures or video, proving your sacrifice. We'll publicize the results. Then, and only then, will the Javy Guerra we know and love return.

Somewhere under that sleeved fleece canopy lies the heart and soul of a true closer. We need to band together to break the Snuggie Curse, pull that good man back out from under that tent, and into the blue light.

Not that we're conspiracy theorists, but for earlier SoSG curse content, here's The Dane Cook Dodgers Curse; The Wheaties Fuel Curse (Part 1, 2, and 3; and The Eric Collins Curse 2009 and 2010. Nah, we're not paranoid. Nosiree.

Post-Game 18 Thread: A Javy Burden

"DAMMIT."

BRAVES 4, DODGERS 3

It was tied 3-3 in the ninth when Martin Prado fought off three fouls from Javy Guerra, then ripped an RBI-triple that Matt Kemp couldn't glove at the wall. Dodgers fall to 13-5. Rubber game tomorrow!

photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images

Game 18 Thread: April 24 vs. Braves, 7p

It's Snuggie Night!

Aaron Harang (1-1, 5.40) vs. Mike Minor (2-1, 3.10).

Minor's on a roll, having allowed one unearned run to the Brewers over 7 1/3 innings, then following that by holding the Diamondbacks (sans Upton and Young) to two runs over eight innings. The NL-best 13-4 Dodgers counter with Harang, who anchored the Dodgers' sole win in Milwaukee last week.

But all eyes will be on the Dodger bats, which cranked out 15 hits against the Braves last night. Will Andre Ethier and James Loney continue their hot streaks against a lefty? Will Loney even start? (UPDATE: No.) Will Juan Uribe's tender wrist actually force him to continue making contact? Can Dee Gordon and Ajellis keep getting on base? Will SoSG readers Alex and Bryan send us pictures of themselves in a Dodgers sleeved blanket? The tension is killing me!

Post-Game 11 Thread: Welcome to the Majors

BREWERS 5, DODGERS 4

The Dodgers' first foray into playing teams with actual talent was a tense, sloppy affair. Both Dee Gordon and James Loney (?) were caught stealing in front of batters who ended up doubling. Matt Kemp almost made a spectacular catch on a Jonathan Lucroy triple; naturally, Lucroy scored on the next play. (Kemp later made a spectacular catch on Richie Weeks' deep fly ball in the seventh (first photo).)

Earlier that inning, Don Mattingly chose to pull Chad Billingsley, who had retired 11 straight and was at 83 pitches, for pinch hitter Adam Kennedy. Kennedy stranded Juan Uribe at second.

With the Brewers leading 3-2 in the eighth, Andre Ethier set himself up as the Dodgers' hero with a two-run go-ahead homer (second photo). But in the bottom of the ninth, Javy Guerra, clearly thrown off by pinch runner Carlos Gomez, gave up a game-winning two-RBI double to George Kottaras and the Brewers walked off.

Dodgers fall to 9-2. How will they rebound from their first real blow of the season?

AP photos

Random Links From The Weekend

Sax emerges from his weekend manifesto-writing retreat, with links of goodness for your reading pleasure:

• When talking about how effectively closers are being used, Dan Szymborski of Baseball Think Factory uses a Leverage Index to understand the most difficult save situations--and Javy Guerra's 2011 save portfolio was not rated as very difficult (link insider only):

  Several years ago, sabermetrician Tom Tango developed a measure called the leverage index (LI) in order to gauge high-pressure moments in baseball. The average leverage index is 1.0, representing, well, the average-pressure situation. A situation with a 2.0 represents a situation twice as crucial to the winning (or losing) of a game, with a 0.5 representing only half the pressure.

  Everyone knows instinctively that not all save situations are created alike, but the LI shows us just how different they can be. A typical easy save situation, entering the bottom of the ninth inning protecting a three-run lead, isn't a particularly difficult task and has a leverage index of about 1.0. Chris Perez's blown save against the Toronto Blue Jays on Opening Day was of this variety. After Perez's blown save, there was the oddity of the Jays letting Luis Perez pitch four innings, with an LI greater than 1.0 for every single batter, only to have their closer, Sergio Santos, close out the equivalent of a 1-foot putt, needing to get just two outs with a three-run lead.

  On the flip side, a situation in which the bases are loaded with two outs in the bottom of the ninth while guarding a one-run lead is the very definition of a do-or-die scenario, and thus has a leverage index of 10.9.

  In 2011, no pitcher was more underrated by the save stat than Los Angeles Angels fireballer Jordan Walden. Despite an ERA below 3.00 in his rookie season, Walden led the league in blown saves, tying with Carlos Marmol at 10, which for the save-ophile would suggest that he didn't do his job. However, the save stat doesn't take into account the difficulty of a save conversion, and Walden easily bested every other reliever in baseball when it came to the importance of the situations he pitched in, with a leverage index of 2.54. The next highest LI among relievers with more than 50 innings pitched? Brian Wilson of the San Francisco Giants, at 2.30. Angels manager Mike Scioscia scores big points here for getting his best relief pitcher into the most crucial situations. Other closers who had the hardest fires to put out include Wilson, Mariano Rivera (2.16) and Heath Bell (2.15).

  However, there are the closers who got a break, relatively speaking. Javy Guerra had a sterling save percentage, saving 21-of-23 for a 93 percent conversion rate, but he also had the easiest go of any pitcher with 20 save opportunities (LI of 1.39). Next lowest was Frank Francisco at 1.47. Kyle Farnsworth, previously known mostly for the heartburn he causes fans, had his best major league season in terms of saves, helped by a 1.51 LI.

  On the flipside, however, perhaps there are downsides of high Leverage Indices.

• We may be stuck with the .267 BA Juan Uribe (remember, his BA was .083 as recently as April 8). However, as the Orioles know, it could be worse. Thanks to Deadspin for this video (you've gotta click through for the link), but as Deadspin wrote:

  Listen closely to the Baltimore crowd, not particularly forgiving of any tricks of the wind. One fellow speaks for his compatriots with "Reynolds, you're killing us!" Another is more succinct, repeating "You suck!"

• In more serious news, Rachel Robinson carries on Jackie Robinson's values with a unyielding spirit and nothing but regal class. This article was from the April 16, 2012 issue of Sports Illustrated (Bubba Watson cover), and here's the lead:

  Early this year in its airy, wood-floored main space in downtown Manhattan, the Jackie Robinson Foundation held a fund-raising event commemorating what would have been the Hall of Famer's 93rd birthday. The evening also honored former Yankees owner George Steinbrenner, who posthumously received the foundation's annual Chairman Award for having "carried on the tradition of Jackie Robinson." Although the Yankees were no friend to Robinson during his playing days with the Brooklyn Dodgers—the Yanks heckled him profoundly while beating Brooklyn in five of six World Series—Steinbrenner had, over a 37-year ownership reign, which began in 1973, been generous in charity and loyal to baseball people in need. The former Yankee Darryl Strawberry, an African-American slugger whose career was derailed by drug use, was on hand to express gratitude to the Boss for "sticking by me and pulling me up when no one else would."

  Several ex-players attended the event, including Hall of Fame second baseman Joe Morgan, as well as foundation chair and former National League president Len Coleman. But the light in the room came from somewhere else: a woman in a black pantsuit, with shoulder-length gray hair and dangling earrings. She mingled unhurriedly, occasionally dispensing hugs to those she knew. Other guests kept looking toward her, angling to get close, to eavesdrop on her banter, to shake her hand, to take in her glow. She needed no name tag. This was Rachel Robinson, Jackie's widow. To observe her for any length of time and then to learn that she will soon turn 90 is akin to learning that yes, in fact, cows can fly. She looks 68.

  About an hour into the evening, Morgan took to a lectern to emcee a short program. He noted that it has been 65 years since Jackie Robinson crossed the major league color line—on April 15, Major League Baseball will celebrate the anniversary of his first game with the Dodgers—and 50 years since Robinson was inducted into the Hall. Strawberry took a turn at the mike, as did Coleman and David Robinson, one of Jackie and Rachel's three children. Then Morgan stepped to the lectern again. "Now," he said, "I have to formally introduce someone who is here tonight. You know that England has its queen, well ... we have ours. The queen mother— Rachel Robinson."

• Finally, one last point from Monday's LAT, which suffered from proofreading misses. I mean, I know that everyone was at Coachella this past weekend, but could we tone down the marijuana references a bit? (And how are these six records ordered, by the way? The grid makes more sense if the two 9-1 records are grouped together.)
  

Guerra Rehabbing Image After Snuggie Ad

Darth Vader high-fives Javy Guerra before Friday's game.

photo by Jon SooHoo/Dodgers

Game 8 Thread: April 13 vs. Padres, 7p

"Rerun" Stubbs, not to be confused with SoSG Stubbs.

Aaron Harang (0-1, 6.23 ERA) vs. Clayton Richard (1-0, 0.00 ERA)

The season is barely a week old and we're already getting a rerun? What's happening?! I thought it was sweeps!

Clayton Richard's dominant start last Sunday has been the only hiccup in the Dodgers' red hot 2012 start, so maybe they can get a little revenge tonight. It would be nice if Harang could go the distance, keeping the game out of the hands of the...ahem...less reliable relievers, and giving Javy Guerra a much needed day off. Javy's 5 saves in 5 tries is great and all, but we'd like to keep his arm from falling off before May.

As of this writing, it's been dumping down rain in L.A. all day (It does happen!), threatening to wash out the first Friday Night Fireworks of the year. (Look for more hilarious attendance jokes on Twitter...if the game itself isn't postponed.) I guess it's up to the Dodger bats to light up the night. With only one home run from someone not named Kemp or Ethier so far, we're due for some big blasts. Maybe from James Loney, who finally broke through with a hi... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Sorry, I couldn't finish that thought with a straight face.

Javy Guerra, Snuggie Model

Javy Guerra from a Dodgers commercial advertising Sleeved Blanket Night against the Braves on April 24.

Spring Training Sights

Tommy Lasorda greets warriors Javy Guerra and Matt Guerrier.

A gaggle of pitchers.

Lindblom, Hawksworth, Kershaw, De La Rosa, Guerra, Guerrier.

Aaron Harang.

Blasts from the past: Maury Wills, Jody Reed and Jose Vizcaino work out with Dee Gordon.

"And put your garbage in a garbage can, people. I can't stress that enough."

all photos by Jon SooHoo/Dodgers except 2: AP

Super Bowl XLVI Ad Watch

Note: not a sanctioned event.

6:55 GIANTS 21, PATRIOTS 17! Thanks for participating in the Adriana Lima Ad Watch!

6:26 Samsung. "The next big thing is here." Then, "coming soon." Uh-huh.

6:21 Kia, Optima. Adriana Lima AND Motley Crue? Are we so easy?

Oh yeah, Adriana Lima:

6:14 Bud Light, Here, Weego! See what happens when you drop the Platinum bit? Nice tag with HELP RESCUE DOGS.

6:08 Honda, Ferris Bueller; MetLife, various cartoon characters: is our generation so susceptible to the emotional mining of the icons of our childhood?

6:02 Jack in the Box, marrybacon.com. Have they out-Jumbacoed themselves?

Jumbaco!

6:01 NFL, Evolution. Tradition and an allusion to safety. Not bad.

5:56 Tom Brady: no bald spots. THERE IS NO GOD

5:49 Another good Bud commercial (the Cult one).

Acura, Seinfeld vs. Leno. New NSX!

Toyota, new Camry:

5:39 Fiat, Abarth. That got my attention! B+

MY EYES

photo by Chris Trotman/Getty Images

5:18: Chrysler. Holy shit, it's Clint Eastwood!

5:16:

"These new line judge uniforms are ridiculous."

photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images

From @Dodgers:

From left to right: LM, Javy Guerra, FAO.

4:44 G.I. Joe 2. Like G.I. Joe, but with Bruce Willis!

Doritos, E*TRADE, babies. Fewer babies, more dogs!

4:40 Skechers, Mr. Quiggly. Sorry about those fake fitness shoes! Here's another dog.

Teleflora, Adriana Lima. Adriana Lima? Adriana Lima.

Avengers. It's Iron Man! Captain America! The Hulk! And...Hawkeye? Oooh, a guy with a bow and arrow! Look out!

4:32 Sorry, George Lucas. Not watching Episode I again!

Chevy, Sonic. Real stunts. Can't fake that! B+ (7:02 Turns out that was OK Go.)

Beckum: limps off. Beckham: pants off.

"And Chad Ochocinco comes into the game. The one-time Johnson, the one-time Bengal." Well played, Al Michaels.

4:22 H&M, David Beckham. One for the ladies!

Don't forget the Lingerie Bowl was played today!

AP photo

4:14 VW. I love dogs! And I love Star Wars! B

4:10 Avatar 2 — I mean John Carter!

Another decent Bud spot!

4:08 Doritos: I love dogs. But I love cats too! B-

Budweiser, prohibition. How can Bud Light commercials be so bad and regular Budweiser ads be so decent? Not flashy but efficient. B-

4:04 Transformers 4 — I mean, Battleship!

4:02 GoDaddy: excuse to post photo of Danica Patrick.

3:52 Kinks outro music! Love it!

3:44 Collinsworth re: Brady safety: "You have to be inside the tackle box." We're fishing now?

3:43 No, that wasn't Ryan Gosling in that Hyundai commercial. But they probably won't mind if you think it's him.

3:42 Pepsi, Elton John. Plus half a grade for Flavor Flav save. C-.

3:40 Gisele was probably drawing up a play for her husband.

3:39 Audi takes on the Twilight phenomenon. Is there any crossover here, even for a parody? D

3:39 Bud Light Platinum? Light platinum? Contradiction in terms? F

3:33 From @AaronGleeman:

Over/under on National Anthem was 1 minute, 34 seconds. Kelly Clarkson's version? 1 minute, 34 seconds.

3:30 You say Gostkowski, I say Gronkowski.

3:26 Eli Manning interviewed minutes before the game? Would you interview a starting pitcher before gametime?

3:22 How much dough is Jeff Bridges making from these Hyundai ads?

3:20 The Dictator. Who loves political satire?! Anybody?

3:19 Ladies and gentlemen, Kelly Clarkson and the Awkwardly Prepubescent Choir!

photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

3:17 That's who!

3:15 Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton! Who?

photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

1:38 Via the unsinkable @molly_knight:

Rumored Madonna halftime setlist: 1. Vogue 2. Music (w/ @LMFAO) 3. Give me All Your Luvin (w/ @NICKIMINAJ) 4. Like a Prayer (w/ @CeeLoGreen)

1:20 HOLD EVERYTHING! TBS is showing The Wedding Date, starring Debra Messing as a woman who hires a hunky male escort (Dermot Mulroney) as...pause for suspense...her wedding date! This is now The Wedding Date Ad Watch.

Welcome to the fifth annual (kind of) SoSG Super Bowl Ad Watch! Mostly this is an opportunity to make snap judgments about commercials that hundreds of people labored on and companies spent millions on. And post some sexy pictures. And I guess there's a game mixed in there somewhere.