Wednesday, April 01, 2009

An SoSG Exclusive: Andre Ethier Reviews Chipotle®

Andre Ethier, Dodger outfielder and noted food critic, was kind enough to provide SoSG with an exclusive review of Chipotle®, the nation's leading gourmet burrito and taco restaurant chain. Hit it, Andre!

Hola, amigos. I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but between the new baby and spring training, I haven't had a lot of time to get out. But last week Joe gave me and some of the boys the day off and we decided to try a little place I've had my eye on: Chipotle®. Located at 59th & Thunderbird, Chipotle® is a classy little "mom & pop" operation that offers small-town service with a big-city menu. Me and the guys ate it up!

There's something at Chipotle® for everyone. I had the Burrito, which comes with more fillings than you can shake a Louisville Slugger at: pinto or black beans, your choice of meat (braised carnitas or barbacoa (barbacoa? Wasn't that a character in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies?), adobo marinated and grilled chicken or beef), and guac, salsa, cheese or sour cream. Russell had the Burrito Bowl, which is basically the Burrito sans tortilla. Why he didn't want the tortilla, I don't know. Must be a Canadian thing, eh?

Kemp went all out and got the Fajita Burrito, while Loney went for the Crispy Tacos. James loves his Crispy Tacos! Bills ordered the Soft Tacos (pitchers. Soft. Figures) and Clayton got a salad. Kemp started razzing Clayton and tried to buy him a beer (he's legal now, you know), but Clayton was all like, no alcohol during the season. Dude, it's spring training! goes Kemp, but you know Clayton—dude's a regular choirboy. Anyway. We also ordered a bunch of Chips & Guac for the whole crew and washed it all down with beer (us) and soda (Clayton).

So what's the verdict? We find Chipotle® to be guilty—guilty of providing us with a delicious and nutritious meal with friendly and efficient service in a clean and comfortable environment! Hey Mr. McCourt, how about opening a Chipotle at Dodger Stadium?


Jimbo said...

I like this one the best, so far!

Orel said...

Like all Chipotle clientele, you have discerning tastes.

Eric Karros said...

As a celebrity, Ethier must get the 'good' place settings. I just get the red plastic baskets.

berkowit28 said...

This was well written - a very good pastiche. Well done, guys!