Thursday, February 01, 2007

EXCLUSIVE Interview with the Dodgers #1 Hater

A short time ago in a galaxy off I-95, my mom (DeMom DeShields) strayed from her usual QVC and Havanese browsing and found herself on the remarkably chic Sons of Steve Garvey. She called me on DePhone, furious that her only son (or daughter) would betray her by writing on a trial semi-regular basis for a Dodgers Blog. As none of you know, both my parents were born and bred in Brooklyn, so the Dodgers, drinking, and that one born-again "mistake" I made senior year were never discussed in the DeShiled DeHouse.

Until now.

DeMe: So, what's the root of your white hot rage of all things Dodgers (including Mike Piazza's beard of a wife).

DeMom: My friend Cece and I would root for the Yankees to irritate Danny Weitz, a Dodgers fan. They were bums, and they stunk. A lousy team.

DeMe: Any good memories about the Brooklyn Dodgers?

DeMom: No. We just liked tormenting Danny. But he was emotional. One time he came after us with a venetian blind. (Note: nobody was killed)

DeMe: Whatever happened to Ebbets Field.

DeMom: It became a housing project.

DeMe: Project. Like a Lego town?

DeMom: Why did I send you to (anonymous lower-tiered Ivy)?

People like my Dad were one-time fans who hated the Dodgers for leaving them. Oddly, my Mom never liked them, and despises the Dodgers more for going from Nathan’s-adjacent to Pink’s-tangential. She hasn’t spoken to Danny for several decades, but still roots for the Yankees. And like most Yankee fans, she doesn't know any players on that team. And has never seen them play live. But she knows what she hates. The Boys in Blue. And Rosie.


Rob said...

Your mom is like, weird. But hot.

Delino DeShields said...

That's very sweet, Rob. I'm sure she'd appreciate it too.

Orel said...

SoSG is bravely plumbing heretofore unknown depths of randomness.

Anonymous said...

You and mom can let go of the hatred for father-to-be any day now Mike Piazza. He's a MET, not a Dodger.

Orel said...

I hear Piazza wants to enter the Hall of Fame as an Athletic.

Delino DeShields said...

I would point to Regina Spektor Formula, Revealed as the moment SOSG truly entered Random Land. And I still love the Piazza (though I was pissed off when I fell for that BS story about him being in Teen Wolf)

Orel said...

If there were only a stat for randomness. RORP?