Saturday, September 10, 2011

Giants' Affeldt Out For Season With Self-Inflicted BBQ Injury

As further proof the Giants made their Faustian bargain to win a World Series last year that no one watched, here's a story even we couldn't have made up:

We've all stood at the barbecue, dressed in our finest apron, fired-up and ready to grill some juicy burgers at a family cookout, when we realize that something is wrong.

The grill is hot and the chef is ready, but the burgers are not. Someone — perhaps the wife, or a child — neglected to defrost the meat.

Sigh. Frozen, anyone can work with. But nobody grills six patties at a time!

That's likely the situation San Francisco Giants southpaw Jeremy Affeldt faced at a family gathering Thursday. Only, rather than do the safe thing by defrosting the burgers in a microwave, or even in some warm water, or just waiting, he tried separating the patties with a sharp knife.

Well, something went wrong, just like our parents said might happen, and Affeldt cut a deep gash in his right (non-throwing) hand. The injury required surgery lasting eight hours to fix nerve damage in his pinkie. Affeldt told the Associated Press that he came came within a millimeter of cutting an artery.

He's out for the rest of the season.

The ironic thing is, Pablo Sandoval didn't even need the six patties separated in the first place.


Orel said...

Clint Barmes is unimpressed.

Kyle Baker said...

I hate all these trumped-up medical stories where [an injury] misses [critical part of anatomy] by [incredibly small length].

Cliff Beefpile said...

Better than hearing about an injury missed to a critical part of anatomy because of it's incredibly small length.

Dick jokes, people!