GAH!!!

The Dodgers have expressed "strong interest" and are a finalist for Tim Lincecum, according to @JonHeyman. https://t.co/3KApi3dLu4

— Jon Weisman (@jonweisman) February 27, 2018

HA HA FUNNY PRANK GUYS. OK WE'LL START BLOGGING AGAIN.

Giants Spend Crazy Cash On Lincecum

Backed into a corner with no one to replace the franchise's face, the San Francisco Giants re-signed Tim Lincecum to another two-year deal, this one only $5M less than the last two-year deal they had back when they thought Lincecum was kinda good:

SAN FRANCISCO -- Tim Lincecum is staying put with the San Francisco Giants just as he hoped, reaching agreement Tuesday on a $35 million, two-year contract through the 2015 season.

The deal is pending a physical, which had yet to be scheduled. Lincecum has a full no-trade clause in the new deal.

General manager Brian Sabean said when the season ended that among his top priorities was bringing back the two-time NL Cy Young Award winner, who also indicated he cherishes familiarity and wanted stay with the only club he has known. He pitched the Game 5 clincher in the 2010 World Series at Texas, then shifted to the bullpen and became a reliable reliever during the Giants' 2012 run to their second title in three years. He pitched a no-hitter July 13 at San Diego.

Sabean wanted to lock up Lincecum's deal before he hit the open market in free agency.

The 29-year-old Lincecum just completed a $40.5 million, two-year contract that paid him $22 million this past season.

So how is this going down with the pundits? Here's ESPN.com's Dan Szymborski, panning the deal:

The San Francisco Giants announced a scientific breakthrough this afternoon, demonstrating the ability to travel forward in time and return to the present, thus fulfilling the dreams of H.G. Wells. Or at least, I think they did, given that this afternoon they re-signed former ace Tim Lincecum to a two-year, $35 million contract, a transaction that only makes sense if black-and-orange clad physicists crunched some equations and managed to bring back tales of a future in which The Freak returned to prime form.

Lincecum has been a nearly unmitigated disaster for the past two years, going 20-29 with a 4.76 ERA in 383 2/3 innings. A 4.76 ERA in pitcher-friendly AT&T Park in 2013 isn't like a 4.76 ERA in Yankee Stadium in 2001, and when you adjust for context, Lincecum's ERA+ numbers in 2012 and 2013 are 68 and 76, respectively.

How bad are those numbers? Lincecum was 88th of 88 MLB qualifiers in 2012 before improving to 77th of 81 in 2013. Baseball Reference's WAR (wins above replacement) has him as minus-2.3 over the past two years and the FanGraphs version of WAR, which uses FIP as a basis for pitcher WAR, putting Lincecum in the best possible light, has him at a combined 2.5 WAR across 2012 and 2013. [...]

Between Lincecum's new deal and the Hunter Pence contract announced a few weeks ago, the Giants have already committed $125 million in guaranteed future salary without actually making any improvements on a 76-86 team that finished two games out of last place. Unless the team shows a bit more creativity this offseason, there's a real danger that the Giants catch up to the Dodgers in payroll long before they catch up in wins.

Wow, that's pretty harsh. How about Grant Bisbee over at McCovey Chronicles...who hates the deal as well:

At the risk of being a contrarian, allow me to suggest the Giants just committed an awful lot of money to a pitcher who hasn't been very good over the last two years.

Oh, that's what everyone's been saying? Well, then put me down for some consensus pie. Because the Giants just committed an awful lot of money to a pitcher who hasn't been very good over the last two years. And it's hard to fathom, at least at first. Let's dig into some historical analogies.

Todd Wellemeyer was one of the worst Giants pitchers I've seen. His ERA+ was 69 in 2010, and if the Giants stuck with him for two or three more starts, there's a chance they don't win the division.

Pretend Wellemeyer came back the following season and posted a slightly better, still awful, ERA+ of 76.

Then pretend the Giants inked him to a two-year, $8 million deal.

You would have freaked out. Pun half-heartedly intended. But you would have been upset. That much? For that guy? And what's the deal with two years? Shouldn't he have to battle for a rotation spot? Wait, is he even close to being worth a rotation spot?

Now add $27 million to that total deal. For Todd Wellemeyer. You would have heard the news, opened your door, and started walking the Earth, like Caine in Kung Fu. You would have walked from place to place, met people, got in adventures. But your brain wouldn't have let you process anything to do with baseball. No, no, no, that would have been too much.

Well it may have been too much, indeed. For us Dodgers fans, though, I'm fine facing Lincecum as a Giant for two more years. And even more fine knowing it was expensive keeping him there.

Game 148 Thread: Sept. 14 vs. Giants, 6p

Ricky Nolasco (8-1, 2.07) vs. Timmeh Lincecum (9-13, 4.40 ERA)

Despite the Dodger loss last night, the magic number is now down to four. Let's take a look at the playoff picture. If the season ended today, the matchups would look like this:

 St. Louis away isn't exactly a cakewalk. But then again, neither would be the Braves. Or the Reds. Or hell, the Pirates. Come to think of it, this is going to be rough no matter what our path to the World Series ends up being.

It's going to be that much tougher if we keep losing players. Hanley is out until next week with a sciatic nerve issue or some such. Ethier's ankle is jacked up. Kemp is Kemp. The bullpen is showing signs of wear. And Clayton has looked downright unlike Clayton lately.

The saving grace in all this is that we get to face Timmeh Lincecum tonight. He's had a mostly terrible year, with flashes of post-mediocrity tempered with what some might consider mildy-decent pitching. I have long suspected that his issue is related to the fact that he needs to wash his hair, and will likely remind him of that repeatedly in this Game Thread. If you can't beat 'em, taunt 'em, as I always say.

ESPN Creates A Potential Story, Then Riffs On Said Story

ESPN has done a pretty good job at creating stories out of nothing, and then having their talking head pundits continue the story. Deadspin has a good example of how ESPN "created a story out of thin air" on the 49ers' Colin Kaepernick.

Here's one they have created about the Dodgers. First, Buster Olney's column indicated that big things are going to be afoot for the Dodgers this offseason (link insider only):

The tentative schedule for 2014 was released Tuesday, and you can already look forward to some interesting dates for next year, beyond those first two games played in Australia between the Diamondbacks and Dodgers on March 22-23.

1. April 4: The Dodgers unveil their latest acquisition at home

OK, so we don’t know who exactly it will be. Maybe it’ll be a manager, if Don Mattingly isn’t retained. Maybe it’ll be a new infielder. But the Dodgers are like the Lakers now, in that they are always looking for new and better, and That Guy will play his first home game for the Dodgers on this date, against the Giants.

Not a bad hypothesis, to be sure. Olney wants an excuse to trumpet the Dodgers-Diamondbacks' 2014 season opener in Sydney next year; and, it's not entirely unexpected that Stan Kasten and company will continue to spend to upgrade the team, at any position or management slot.

But then what gets wonky is, ESPN's AJ Mass also riffs on Olney's story, expounding on they hypothetical, in "Who will be "that guy" for the Dodgers?" (link insider only):

So let's speculate on exactly who "That Guy" could be by nominating three potential candidates who might end up fulfilling Buster's prophecy:

Mike Scioscia: Given how close Mattingly was to getting the axe earlier this season, he certainly could get a pink slip should the Dodgers get bounced from the playoffs in their first series. After a frustrating season in Anaheim, and rumors of a rift between Scioscia and general manager Jerry DiPoto, owner Artie Moreno could end up having to let one of them go. Scioscia is signed through 2018, but staying in Los Angeles might be appealing to him, and the Dodgers could be interested in their former catcher as well. Hmm, if a deal can be arranged in which the Dodgers unload Andre Ethier's contract to the Angels in return for the manager, this could be a win-win.

Robinson Cano: If Mattingly stays, his historical ties to the New York Yankees could give the Dodgers a leg up in negotiating a deal with the free agent second baseman. Certainly paying for Cano rather than exercising a $5.75 million on the much-older, less-productive Mark Ellis makes a lot of sense for a team without many payroll restrictions. Of course, Cano is 31 years old, and the team has expressed a desire to guarantee contracts only up to the age of 36. A five-year deal might not be enough to seal the deal, but given the solid supporting cast Cano would have in Los Angeles, perhaps it could get the job done.

Tim Lincecum: The Dodgers have already grabbed ex-Giant Brian Wilson, giving him a chance to revive his career following Tommy John surgery. Why not take a stab at getting "The Freak" as well? Lincecum's struggles over the past two seasons certainly will give the Giants pause in terms of overpaying for what they might feel is a pitcher who has already given them the best years of his career. But Lincecum still has more mileage left in his arm than current Dodgers southpaw Chris Capuano. An upgrade might be in order.

These are all pretty serious grenades for Mass to be dropping in the room. Scioscia would mean replacing a manager who was on the hot seat earlier this season, but has led or at least presided over one of the most remarkable runs by any MLB team in history, post-All-Star break, as well as a playoff berth. Cano is obviously one of the gems of this year's free agent class, and will come at a high price tag. The prospect of adding San Francisco Giant Lincecum is obviously controversial not only because of his history with our hated rival (which tends to not be a prior experience that yields dividends for the Dodgers (see: Jason Schmidt)), but also due to his declining velocity and effectiveness.

It's almost like Olney and Mass (whose experience base is fantasy sports) set this 1-2 punch all up just to stir up controversy. Let's all calm down on the conspiracy theories for future events, and enjoy the here and now a bit more.

Game 87 Thread: July 7 @ Giants, 1p

All-Star, franchise savior.

Clayton Kershaw (7-5, 1.93) vs. Chad Gaudin (2-1, 2.60).

What, no Timmy? We were hoping for another classic Kershaw-Lincecum matchup, especially since their last meeting went so well. Instead we get spot-starter Gaudin against a Dodgers team that better damn well be ready to make up for yesterday's sloppy play with sparkling defense and laser-like hitting.

Oh, and while we're at it: VOTE PUIG!

Game 77 Thread: June 26 vs. Giants, 7p

Pablo Sandoval, from last night's game. Collect them all!

Clayton Kershaw (5-5, 2.06) vs. Tim Lincecum (4-7, 4.52).

So this happened last night:

"Gimme some dap, Falsone!"

"Must save...

...League's bacon!"

"Shoulder still works!"

"Same with the hammy!"

Remember when the Kershaw-Lincecum rivalry was going to be one for the ages? Well, Kershaw kept up his end of the bargain and is in position to help the Dodgers sweep the Giants tonight.

Meanwhile, everybody from the projected opening day lineup is back, sans Carl Crawford, so let's enjoy the maximum firepower until the next injury occurs.

Game 3 Thread: April 3 vs. Jints, 7p

Josh Beckett (0-0, -.--) vs. Tim Lincecum (0-0, -.--).

Rubber match, anybody?

If it was 2013 Aces Day on Monday, tonight is 2009 throwback night. Timmah was distinctly un-Timmah like last year, and Beckett was dreadful before being relocated to the best coast. Was Beckett's shaky spring training indicative of a steeper decline? Are Timmah's mechanics finally catching up to him? Will the Dodgers' lineup finally have a pulse?

Given their histories, we Canterbury either of these guys just yet, but I'm counting on Beckett to be the Chaucer of the two tonight.

Image: South Park Studios

The Best Election Day Photo

And then there's this...

Let the "Timmeh to the Rockies" rumors begin!

Vin photo by miss_montoya, via @VinScullyTweet. Colorado image swiped from Tumblr.

LCS Games Thread: Oct. 18

Hey, I just met you, etc., etc., etc.

1 p.m. PT: Yankees (CC Sabathia) @ Tigers (Max Scherzer).
5 p.m. PT: Giants (Tim Lincecum) @ Cardinals (Adam Wainwright).

Last chance for A-Rod to get digits!

Last chance for Timmeh to get lit up!

Plenty of chances for Dodger fans to look forward to 2013!

Scoreboard Watching: Barves @ Gnats, 1p

Our game doesn't get off until 6p, but there is of course another important game in the NL West race being played between a recently-reeling Atlanta Braves (71-55) team and an unfortunately-surging SF Gnats (71-55) team. The equation we're looking for:  (Dodgers win + Giants loss) x infinity.

Timmeh isn't pitching today (Madison Bumgarner is), but I'm still going to give him a hard time:

Feel the hate, brothers and sisters, and Go Braves!

Image: © Deutsches Weininstitut

Game 89 Thread: July 14 vs. Padres, 6p

Not a metaphor for our offense

Edinson Volquez, RHP (5-7, 3.52 ERA) vs. Aaron Harang, RHP (6-5, 3.51 ERA)

Tonight the Dodgers look to build on last night's win that didn't quite feel like a win, but still counts that way. With the return of Kemp and Ethier, there is an expectation that the noffense will have enough pop to storm the second half of the season. We'll be waiting anxiously for that to start. Several Sons attended the game last night, and we can report that we didn't see anything revolutionary yet in the offensive department (though some may claim the Sons themselves were offensive).

Aaron Harang gets the start where one would usually expect Chad Billingsley to be going out as the number two pitcher in the rotation. Don Mattingly has explained that this is more of a second-half of the season reset after the break to take advantage of matchups versus certain teams. Not sure if I buy that line of thinking given the many questions swirling around whether Bills can get it together - consistently - and prove he is indeed a go-to guy. Chris Capuano has apparently been slotted into the number four pitcher, though he has been the Dodgers' best this season. We could think too hard about this one, but let's not go losing our heads.

Taking a look to the top of the NL West, Timmeh Lincecum is on the mound for the Gnats today, so we'll be peeking at the scoreboard to see if he continues to see his pitching form retreat like a French soldier. Dodgers currently enjoy a guillotine-thin half-game lead on Gnats, who have the luxury of playing the Astros this stand.

Come on, boys, bring the fireworks tonight.

Liberté, égalité, Dodgers!

Image: 1) Prise de la Bastille by Henri Paul Perrault, 1928 2) SoSG Dusty Baker

Post-Game 76 Thread: Let Us Count the Ways

GIANTS 3, DODGERS 0

...in which the Dodgers lost today:

1. The Dodgers lost Andre Ethier to a strained left oblique. If Ethier goes on the DL and Matt Kemp doesn't return soon — like, right after the All-Star break — then it's sellin' time.

2. The Dodgers lost in their attempt to avoid being Tim Lincecum's rebound team. This was only Lincecum's third win, and his first in which the Giants didn't give up a run.

3. The Dodgers lost the game. Which seems like more of an afterthought right now.

4. The Dodgers lost the series by getting swept. The Giants outscored them 13-0. That's right, it was a scoreless sweep.

5. The Dodgers lost sole possession of first place and it looks like they'll lose it altogether...soon.

6. The Dodgers have lost 8 of their last 9. Up next are the Mets, who beat the Cubs 17-1 today. Who's up for more futility?

Game 76 Thread: June 27 @ Giants, 12:45p

Chad Billingsley (4-6, 4.15) vs. Tim Lincecum (2-8, 6.07).

Is this the end of the Dodgers' first-half glory? His Thighness, the consistently inconsistent Bills, will fight to keep the Dodgers in sole possession of first place, while the consistently bad Timmeh will do his best to hold the Dodger bats to their fastidious vow of silence in the Bay Area. We miss ya, Matty!

photo from Wolfstad.com

Post-Game 71 Thread: Chad Coughs It Up

ANGELS 8, DODGERS 5

The evening started out so promisingly: within eight pitches, the Dodgers had scored more runs (three) than they had scored in three games in Oakland (two). After an inning and a half, the Dodgers were leading 5-0. And Tim Lincecum was struggling in the first inning against the A's, giving up three runs.

But this is the Kemp-less Dodgers of June, and Chad Billingsley coughed up six runs, all earned, over five innings. The Angels tacked on two more off of Jamey Wright. Oh, and the Giants rallied in the ninth to beat the A's.

The Dodgers have lost four straight and their lead in the NL West is down to three games. It hasn't been this tight since April 19. Oh, and the Dodgers travel to San Francisco next. Are we sure Matt Kemp is the only missing piece here?

Post-Game 31 Thread: Bizarro Night

Hey look, I posted a DC comic!

DODGERS 6, GIANTS 2

Just another Dodgers victory, their 20th on the year, opening up a five-game lead on the second-place Giants. Tim Lincecum (2-3) took the loss and Jamey Wright (2-2) registered the win when Chad Billingsley failed to go a full five innings (85 pitches through four full).

In winning the rubber match against the arch-rivals this evening at the Stadium, it was all according to script: an 0-for-5 night from Matt Kemp (3 Ks, 5 LOB), and no RBI from #4 Andre Ethier or #5 Bobby Abreu (both went 2-for-4 and each had a double).

No, we got RBI from everyone you'd expect: one RBI from Juan Uribe (2-for-4 with a double) and James Loney (1-for-4), and three RBI from PH Tony Gwynn, who took a 0-2 count into the right-field corner for a bases-clearing triple. Just like Mattingly drew it up...in Bizarro World!

And that last RBI? From none other than Scott Van Slyke, who (according to the post-game show), woke up this morning in Tacoma expecting to play for Albuquerque. Van Slyke then took a 3p flight from Seattle-Tacoma Airport down to LA, landed at 6p, dressed for the game during the first pitch, was ushered into the game in the sixth inning to PH (his major league debut!), and hit a RBI single up the middle on an 0-2 count for his first hit in the majors, in his first AB. Welcome to the bigs, Scott!

Smile, Scott! You've made it to the Show!

oh, and you want to talk bizarro? kenny lofton is sharing the post-game show desk with lyons and o'neal. weird.

Game 31 Thread: May 9 vs. Giants, 7p

Chad Billingsley (2-2, 3.19) vs. Tim Lincecum (2-2, 5.68).

For the rubber match of this series, we've got the thighs of Chad Billingsley going against the hair of Tim Lincecum (pictured, above). Bills has had four starts with only two or fewer ER, but two bad losses where he didn't look like himself. Lincecum, on the other hand, has had only two of six starts with two or fewer ER; he has been lit up for 5+ earned runs in half of his starts this year.

We'll need the win to take the series, so I guess the question is, Will the thighs have (Cousin) It?

Giants Top List...Of Starters Losing Steam

WSJ article today lists the six starters with the biggest decreases in fastball velocity from last year. And two Giants, Tim Lincecum and Ryan Vogelsong, make the list:

San Francisco Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum hasn't had the kind of start to the season that he was hoping for, posting a 10.54 ERA in his first three starts, with some analysts quick to note a significant reduction in his fastball velocity.

However, the two-time National League Cy Young Award winner is in pretty good company, as top hurlers such as CC Sabathia and Roy Halladay have also lost speed. Cleveland's Justin Masterson has had the biggest decline, throwing 3.1 mph slower than last April.

Lincecum's fastball in 2012 has averaged 90.2 miles per hour, down 2.1 mph from the 92.3 he averaged last April.

Another former Cy Young Award winner struggling to regain the speed he had last season is the Yankees' Sabathia (91.5 mph). Both Sabathia and Lincecum still have good walk and strikeout rates, and their underlying performance suggests that they can still get batters out even if they aren't throwing as hard as they did last season.

Both Sabathia and Lincecum have started slow before, only to regain their velocity and their dominance later in the season. While they might not be lighting up radar guns right now, expect both pitchers to round into form before too long.

You can tell yourself that. However, having seen similar points of concern for Jonathan Broxton over the past couple of years, I know another path for pitchers with declining velocity. And it ain't pretty.

This Will Get You Fired Up for Baseball Season

Former Dodgers, On The Move

Here's a gaggle of stories about former Dodgers.

• Battletoad Vicente Padilla has an invitation to come to spring training with the Red Sox to compete for a starting role. Better hope the equipment guys bought some extra towels this offseason!

  BOSTON -- Newly signed Vicente Padilla will come to camp as a starter and be "in the mix" for the back end of the Red Sox rotation, general manager Ben Cherington said in a conference call with reporters Tuesday.

  He also acknowledged that Padilla could wind up in the bullpen.

  Padilla was briefly used as a closer by his last big-league team, the Los Angeles Dodgers, recording three saves before requiring neck surgery.

• Hee-Seop Choi may not be a hero after all; that is, not if the Kia Tigers can't deal him. Here's the skinny (no link, but this article is from the Korea Times):

  Trade talks involving former Major League Baseball first baseman Choi Hee-seop have broken down, Choi's South Korean club said Monday, as it mulled an outright release.

  The Kia Tigers of the Korea Baseball Organization (KBO) said they have called off trade discussions with the Nexen Heroes. The Gwangju-based Tigers had been seeking to deal Choi, who missed the start of their team practice earlier this month citing personal reasons.

  The Tigers said the Heroes, based in Seoul, had the most interest in acquiring Choi. Though neither team disclosed which Nexen players were on the trading block, sources have said a left-handed reliever and a right-handed infielder would have been traded for Choi.

  Kia officials have said Choi was suffering from flu when he didn't show up for the team workshop on Jan. 6 and the start of the offseason training camp two days later. Sources said Choi had put on extra pounds in the offseason and was in no shape to play baseball.

• And finally, though he's not a former Dodger: Tim Lincecum has asked for a 65% increase in pay next year, from $13.1M to $21.5M. Says the ESPN article, "The two-time NL Cy Young Award winner's request neared the record amount sought in arbitration. Houston pitcher Roger Clemens asked for $22 million in 2005."

  Not bad for a 13-14 pitcher! Stick it to 'em, Timmah! (And wash your hair.)

Game 159 Thread, Sept. 26 @ D'backs, 6:30p

"What do you mean, I'd make a good Gumby?"

Dana Eveland (2-2, 3.75) vs. Daniel Hudson (16-11, 3.43).

Now that Clayton Kershaw has concluded one of the best pitching seasons in Dodger history, our eyes turn to Matt Kemp's quest to carve out his niche in baseball history. (Wow, did I just sound like Bob Costas there?) The 2011 NL West champion Diamondbacks have won four straight, including a three-game sweep/shellacking of the Giants. (Tim Lincecum's final record? 13-14.) Kemp needs a 3-for-4 or 4-for-4 day to make ground in the batting average race. And we need to send someone to the Brewers' clubhouse to slip some Ex-Lax in Ryan Braun's Gatorade.

photo by Kent C. Horner/Getty Images