Let's cut right to the chase, shall we? The Dodgers' bargain-bin Christmas shopping continues:
The Los Angeles Dodgers have reached agreement on a minor league contract with free agent Eugenio Velez, a once-promising prospect who never seemed to gain a major league foothold during his five seasons in the San Francisco Giants organization and who suffered the unusual indignity this fall of not being offered a contract by the Giants despite not yet being eligible for arbitration.
Really, there can't possibly be any more rousing endorsement than the one Tony Jackson just gave Eugenio Velez. And Jackson isn't even mentioning his OPS+ of 48 this past year (.164 BA, .555 OPS)! Nothing but pure offensive excitement, ladies and gentlemen.
Jackson also didn't mention that Velez' middle name (or maternal family name) is VANCOMPER. And we know he can't spell (see picture above).
Is this as bad as the biggest oil spill of all time pre-Gulf BP? Maybe not. But I find it hard to believe this low-octane offense will fuel our way to success.
photo: Bob Levey / AP. Oh wait, it already says that! My bad.
11 comments:
Karina's Son to Yankmes
(cries)
Eugenio Vancomper Velez: Venomize grave opulence
Wait, do we only do this for current Giants?
I am le sad.
What's worse is I had the news broken to me by Colin Cowherd. Double kick to the nads.
*sad trombone orchestra*
I'll always have fond memories of Jmart.
Like the time he was actually able to hit.
I would say let's start an "out of the major leagues" pool but catchers tend to stick around way past their productive days.
Save your sad trombones for the NPUT
Can we officialy call this "rebuilding" yet?
Godspeed Martin. Have fun with that New York p***y.
peony?
is J-Mart a botanist?
I took me over a day to finally get the "casually" pun. That's good stuff.
Post a Comment