Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Ned Colletti Spills Cash Oily, Puts X On Velez

Let's cut right to the chase, shall we? The Dodgers' bargain-bin Christmas shopping continues:

The Los Angeles Dodgers have reached agreement on a minor league contract with free agent Eugenio Velez, a once-promising prospect who never seemed to gain a major league foothold during his five seasons in the San Francisco Giants organization and who suffered the unusual indignity this fall of not being offered a contract by the Giants despite not yet being eligible for arbitration.

Really, there can't possibly be any more rousing endorsement than the one Tony Jackson just gave Eugenio Velez. And Jackson isn't even mentioning his OPS+ of 48 this past year (.164 BA, .555 OPS)! Nothing but pure offensive excitement, ladies and gentlemen.

Jackson also didn't mention that Velez' middle name (or maternal family name) is VANCOMPER. And we know he can't spell (see picture above).

Is this as bad as the biggest oil spill of all time pre-Gulf BP? Maybe not. But I find it hard to believe this low-octane offense will fuel our way to success.

photo: Bob Levey / AP. Oh wait, it already says that! My bad.

11 comments:

Dusty Baker said...

Karina's Son to Yankmes

(cries)

Jason said...

Eugenio Vancomper Velez: Venomize grave opulence

Wait, do we only do this for current Giants?

Josh S. said...

I am le sad.

What's worse is I had the news broken to me by Colin Cowherd. Double kick to the nads.

Mr. Customer said...

*sad trombone orchestra*

NicJ said...

I'll always have fond memories of Jmart.

Like the time he was actually able to hit.

NicJ said...

I would say let's start an "out of the major leagues" pool but catchers tend to stick around way past their productive days.

Steve Sax said...

Save your sad trombones for the NPUT

Mr. Customer said...

Can we officialy call this "rebuilding" yet?

Spanky said...

Godspeed Martin. Have fun with that New York p***y.

Steve Sax said...

peony?

is J-Mart a botanist?

Mr. Customer said...

I took me over a day to finally get the "casually" pun. That's good stuff.