Chad "Burrito Thighs" Billingsley vs. Matt Cainitas
COMMENTS: Billingsley needs to improve upon his last outing, which was as mild as tomatillo green-chili salsa. His delivery, particularly in the later innings, did not have the same speed to the plate as...oh, for a random example off the top of my head, the Chipotle® burrito preparation line, where every burrito is made to order with all of the ingredients that you want, rolled up quickly and efficiently for maximum enjoyment! And so, we're looking for Chad to stay consistent in today's appearance.
Matt Cainitas, on the other hand, has been throwing softer this spring, in fact, as soft as a soft taco filled with adobo marinated beef of course. Many scouts have attributed Cainitas' weakened velocity to a lack of off-season training regimen. In short, he's not a candidate for the Chipotle® Cycling Team presented by H30, all of whose athletes are in peak physical condition. Maybe he should be using less of the cream and clear, and more of the chips and guac (made from perfectly ripe avocados, hand mashed three times a day)!
Here's hoping the Dodgers hand-mash the Giants today! Go Blue!