Wednesday, April 01, 2009

SoSG and Chipotle Part Ways

Alas, dear Sons of Steve Garvey fans, we have bad news to report. Chipotle has revoked its sponsorship deal and is pulling the plug after only one day of our groundbreaking partnership. Co-CEO Montgomery Moran just faxed a note over to our staff offices to tell us that "Unfortunately, SoSG's Dodgers content has not generated the cross-traffic volumes that our analysts had initially projected. As such, we're executing our right to cancel the sponsorship immediately." Apparently, and I haven't seen it break yet on the web, there's a press release forthcoming before tomorrow's opening bell.

Thanks a lot, Monty.

While we labored all day around the press room finding artful and subtle ways of working Chipotle into our normal Dodgers posts, you sat back and enjoyed a 1.69% increase in stock price, well north of the day's NASDAQ gain (though admittedly a little behind the Dow; see picture below). By our calculations, you gained over $36M in market capitalization value in one day of trading. Where do you think that gain came from, Monty? And isn't that gain in market cap worth the fractional amount you planned to pay us for the partnership deal?

(click for larger image)

We've worked so hard at promoting our partnership with Chipotle, that only now at the end of the day, 18 posts later, are we getting google adsense ads for "authentic mexican recipes" (see image below). And still, Monty goes and yanks the rug out from underneath us.


I've been through bad breakups before, the kind where you don't want to get out of bed for days because you can't believe your girlfriend has cheated on you and when you finally do go out to the nearby neighborhood watering hole with your good friend who was always there for you, you get so plowed on shots of Jagermeister and beer chasers that you end up staying out way too late and barely getting out of the taxi in time before throwing up all over the sidewalk and then showing up to work smelling like a bowling alley in a state of inebriation that lasts well into mid-afternoon causing you to avoid your manager and stare at your computer terminal all day with headphones on and your ipod blaring Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb" before 5pm mercifully arrives and you go out and repeat the whole destructive cycle again.

But nothing has made my stomach feel so sick and queasy like this Chipotle deal blowing up. It's like a big stone has been placed upon my shoulders, or perhaps stuck in my large intestine. The end of this partnership deal not only means that we're forced to curtail all of those nifty capital expenditure programs we just authorized (sorry Pedro Guerrero, no waterbed in your office this year), but we also have to lay off our graphics department, which brought you all the snazzy wallpaper and blog redesign.

So I do hope you stay with us, dear SoSG readers, as we transition back to unsponsored and unaffiliated independent blog publishing. We still need you guys, so we hope you'll stick around even when we revert to the old Sons of Steve Garvey you've grown to love. Especially you, Rob. And you, Jon. And kensai, DodgerFan, and MSTI. And you, Scarecrow, I think I'm going to miss you most of all (especially if you don't keep reading!).


Rob said...

Now THAT'S product placement!

Felix Pardalis said...

I know... it all sounds like some bad movie!

Missives From Suburbia said...

I could write them a nasty letter for you. If it's anything like my Comcast experience, they'll have an executive on your front porch in a matter of hours.

thirschb said...

I ate Chipotle yesterday. I thought it was delicious at the time, but now I realize it tasted like frothing wretched bile excreted from the colon of a physiologically-inaccurate creature.

Great series of posts, guys.