Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Things I Don't Understand: Tahiti Village

Okay, I've had enough of their ubiquitous commercials, so let me take a couple of minutes to rant about Tahiti Village, a "five-star vacation property located right on the Las Vegas Strip." They have been hawking their property on radio commercials for a while now, using Tanya Roberts as their spokesperson. In fact, those of you listening to Dodger games on KFWB last year may remember their hokey commercial "conversation" between Tanya and Rick Monday, as Rick called her to ask for fun things to do in Las Vegas (with both people reading a highly scripted conversation).

I am so sick of these commercials, I could vomit. But admittedly I am so curious as to what idiot marketing agency put this plan together, that I did a little bit of research on the resort and their crack spokesperson.

First of all, Tahiti Village is only technically on the Strip, so long as you're counting south of McCarran Airport "on the strip". As far as I can tell, it's farther away from Mandalay Bay than the Fashion Show Mall is from Stratosphere Hotel (which may as well be in Montana). Not exactly walk-friendly, or even accessible to any other relevant casino.

Secondly, the property itself looks a far cry from five-star level. I don't recall seeing a tiki theme or wicker columns at Bellagio or the Wynn.

Finally, and most importantly, I am befuddled over what marketing guru had the brilliant idea to hire Tanya Roberts as a spokesperson. Tanya Roberts is a 52-year old woman best known for her roles in "A View To A Kill" and "Charlie's Angels"--both of which are over TWENTY YEARS OLD. Charlie's Angels has rebooted once since then (and released two movies), and James Bond has rebooted three times since then. Talk about outdated.

And when I think "Vegas fun," I'm not thinking "hanging out with a fifty-year-old woman." What's worse, though I'm sure Ms. Roberts is a nice enough person, but her voice sounds like she is pushing seventy years, making it sound even worse over the radio.

I'm not sure if parent company Consolidated Resorts is trying to position Tahiti Village as a Vegas destination resort, but it sounds more like they are positioning it as a nursing and retirement home. Somebody stop these commercials, please.

19 comments:

cigarcow said...

Even better than Tanya Roberts, another "celebrity" spokesman is Butch Patrick from The Munsters. Eddie Munster!!! That says quality to me. I think it's actually a time-share deal, where you get a free weekend if you sit through a bunch of sales pitches. I'm not sure who's running their marketing department, but he's clearly over 60 years old.

DodgerFan in Idaho said...

You forgot about the equally annoying Tahiti Village version with Alan Thicke targeted to the female audience. You'll remember him from the sitcom, "Growing Pains". No worries... he's only 60 years old! Ronald Regan was President then for cryin' out loud!

I agree... get rid of these stupid commercials.

Delino DeShields said...

From EW's "10 Worst Bond Girls:" Roberts was beautiful, sure, but she was also totally miscast as a geologist with a vendetta. (No wonder she got upstaged by Grace Jones' glowering henchwoman.) The squeaky-voiced former Charlie's Angel gave off so little steam that we half forgot that Bond Girls were supposed to be smart and sexy.

Delino DeShields said...

The only reason Tanya came in second to last was Denise Richards (Dr. Christmas, I presume)

Lasorda said...

Don't forget those ads with Petros and George Wallace and Rosanne Barr. Shudder.

Delino DeShields said...

Wait. It's an ad? But Night Eyes 4 star Tanya seemed so genuine in her praise of Tahiti Village.

Steve Sax said...

I heard the commercial again on the way into work (97.1FM Adam Corolla's show).

When Tanya says "Can you say high-roller treatment baby?", it sounds like her dentures are going to fall out.

Anonymous said...

I actually went to a presentation for this a couple of years ago and it was incredibly amusing how they were telling us how this "hot new resort on the strip!" would be sold out in no time. I don't remember if they addressed the issue of it being underneath McCarren's landing/takeoff pattern. at least we got some free buffets from it... - felixp

Anonymous said...

and Tanya did have a recurring role on That 70s Show; it was a real acting stretch as she played a dumb blonde. - fp

Iam Scrooge said...

Tanya Roberts spots are nothing compared to the god-awful Roseanne spots my local sports-talk station airs all day long.

I get it...Tahiti Village is hard up for cash and needs you to be dumb enough to stop by, pay tens of thousands of dollars for one week a year there and then pay hundreds of dollars per month in maintenance fees for something you're not able to use.

kai said...

#1...who's steve garvey?

#2...since you hear radio ads you obviously are one of the older generation of we wont pay for the airwaves or that newfangled satellite radio.

that puts you right in the numbers for identifying with any of these supposedly geriatric spokespersons. admit it!!! they're your Peeps.

3) that crummy little vegas pretender to the throne a/k/a tahiti village logged 300 million in sales last year because those with an open mind who actually toured the resort saw the value represented there.

4) you do go on vacation, dont you?

aloha

kai

Steve Sax said...

kai, are you seriously boasting about $300M in annual sales? Relative to MGM Mirage's$7.7B revenues in 2007?

And last time I checked, Sirius and XM Satellite were both flailing entities, despite their merger plans. But wait, that's where the really cool Tahiti Village ads play, right? Is Tanya Roberts doin voiceover work for those spots, too?

Steve Sax said...

kai, but you are right about one thing: I do need a vacation. I'm looking for a warm climate and a "high roller" lifestyle. Got any good ideas?

Eric Karros said...

Hey, I wouldn't demean $300m in annual sales, lest we forget that's almost double the revenue SoSG generates.

Steve Sax said...

...but we have better profit margins

iakkai said...

ladies and ladies, this thread has self destructed...the best margins suck right now with the exception of Disney Vacation Club who sells in a league of their own. everyone else is downsizing and experiencing economic realities.

look how different all the numbers are compared with say...june, 5 months earlier

Vaya con Dios

Eric Karros said...

Hey everyone, I checked up on it and iakkai is actually right. A lot of companies really are doing worse than they were like 5 months ago. Just like he said. Seriously. Look it up, it's true.

I wonder if/when the media will pick up on this story.

Steve Sax said...

Hey EK, I'm hoping we can double SoSG's revenues next year...any ideas on what to do? Should we hire Tanya?

M. said...

We went to a sales presentation a couple of years ago. We were in town to watch professional darts and the hotel room was probably worth the time it took out of our day. But I am not sure the sales person appreciated me asking why I should get a time share through her when I saw listings for Tahiti Village on ebay for 1/3 of the price.