The Perfect Gift for Dodger Fans with Jock Itch

The California Lottery will use today's opening Freeway Series preseason game to herald the new Dodger Scratchers.

The Dodger Scratcher will be unveiled at 4 p.m. on March 29 at Dodger Stadium outside the Dodger dugout with Dodgers, including Opening Day starting pitcher Derek Lowe, participating in a "scratch-off" prior to the start of the annual Freeway Series between the Dodgers and the Angels. Dodger Scratchers are now available for sale at Lottery retailers across Southern California.

"Dodger Scratchers are a great way for us to offer fans the opportunity to win some memorable prizes," said Dodger Chief Operating Officer Marty Greenspun. "It's another fun way for our fans to get involved in Dodger baseball and give back to the California school system."

Greenspun neglected to mention how this is also a great way to get Dodger fans hooked on that wonderful vice that is gambling!

You want to give back to the California School System? Write a check and make the donation directly. No need to dilute your contribution by 66% (giving schools only 34 cents on the dollar).

I've always said that the lottery is an income transfer from the poor and stupid to the poor and stupid. Now, Dodger fans have a chance to participate in a new socioeconomic stratum. Congratulations.