Wednesday, June 05, 2013

Game 58 Thread: June 5 vs. Padres, 7p


Clayton Kershaw (5-3, 1.85) vs. Jason Marquis (6-2, 3.82)

Both were legendary figures in their initial Spring Trainings, now Clayton Kershaw (a.k.a. The Minotaur) and Yasiel Puig (a.k.a. Brute 66) will team up for the first time in the big leagues. Standing in their way will be the nefarious duo of Jason Marquis (a.k.a. Marquis Desaad) and Carlos Quentin (a.k.a. The Human Asshole)*.

The Dodgers have already won the series, only their second series win against an NL West opponent this season. (The other was against, you guessed it, the Padres back in early April.) A win tonight would ensure a sweep, an exit from the NL West basement, and a continuation of the undefeated streak in the Puig era.

Wouldn't that be super?

Dodgers tickets

*This is also the last chance for any kind of revenge against Quentin in front of the Dodger Stadium crowd until August 30th. Just let Puig hit about three dingers before you go plunking, K.

176 comments:

Paul said...

Can we bring a King over from Staples to get the job done against Quinten?

Paul said...

Over/under on games before Puig gets some chin music?

Hideo Nomo said...

But he'll swing at it and crush it.

Orel said...

It'll be a good test for him.

MR.F said...

He flips his bat a lot, but he runs quite fast around the bases when he hits home runs.

Hideo Nomo said...

Or, he'll catch it with his teeth and spit it back.

Orel said...

He didn't flip his bat last night. First HR had kind of a high release but, you know, not in a disrespectful way.

MR.F said...

Ahhh I guess I interpret that high release as sorta a bat flip, but I know nothing about baseball. I don't think it's disrespectful though.

Hideo Nomo said...

He also didn't really admire either one.

BJ Killeen said...

I'm out for blood tonight...can't watch the game, but I'll be checking in from time to time

Orel said...

This is a Yasiel Puig bat flip (0:28). Probably best if he doesn't do that in the majors.

Paul said...

Just have bad flash backs when the Reds decided to throw at Manny high and tight every at bat and eventually got him.

Orel said...

Too bad, BJK! I guess you'll know when Puig hits a HR by the shaking emanating from Dodger Stadium.

Orel said...

@Paul: That was Homer Bailey, right? Fucker.

Paul said...

Yup.

Paul said...

Nice video of The bat flip. Love the music.

Puig crushed the ball but you are still in trouble because his next at bat he will get a double.

But don't worry. Be happy.

MR.F said...

Puig is on Team Rocket?

karen said...

I say disrespect the mofos Yasiel. I can't wait to see you flip that bat at phone booth park.

MR.F said...

Is there a way to flip his bat directly into Quentin's face? He may not want to use that bat again though. #shiteaterquentin

Orel said...

Now that would be multitasking!

MR.F said...

http://www.fangraphs.com/not/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Puig-Flip-2-real.gif

Hideo Nomo said...

Wow, that Elbert news came outta nowhere, didn't it?

Spank said...

someone should duct tape shit eater then feed him all the feces from the dodger stadium toilets on La Raza day when Dre cooks.

MR.F said...

@Spank, I don't think that ironic punishment would work on shiteater.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3P-opjP04oU/T8-ROILw2hI/AAAAAAAABeM/GgfwPcrwpfI/s1600/Ironic+Punishment.gif

Orel said...

See, is that really a bat flip? I call that a high release point.

Orel said...

Jason Marky

Orel said...

On my ass, Vinny!

Orel said...

One pitch, one out. Good trend.

Orel said...

A struggling Chase Headley is my favorite kind of Chase Headley (until we sign him).

Orel said...

K

Paul said...

I think Ron Ron does that bat flip at the SOSG softball games.

Paul said...

Nice bounce at least.

Orel said...

FCQ up.

Paul said...

That idiot is really hacking.

Orel said...

Vin says that last pitch was 100 mph?

Orel said...

It's like Magic just discovered the "tweet" button.

Paul said...

Puig time.

MR.F said...

Magic's publicist is busting out the PR on twitter.

karen said...

Not only am I totally jacked to see Brute66, I also love to hear Vinny so jazzed.

Orel said...

DAMMIT PUIG

MR.F said...

SEND HIS ASS TO AA!

Paul said...

Dammit.

Paul said...

Please move Hanley to third.

Fred's Brim said...

christ, we are a gawdawful fielding team

Fred's Brim said...

BABIP gods do not like Hanley

Orel said...

Take note of the Padres' fielding, Hanley.

Fred's Brim said...

Do we have the slowest centerfielder in baseball right now?

MR.F said...

@FB, yes.

Orel said...

Kershaw is not at his sharpest tonight.

karen said...

I really like the look of the clean shaven Clayton, but I'm thinking it might be time to regrow the fur.

Orel said...

Puig almost guns down Denorfia taking third. His accuracy is as remarkable as his power.

karen said...

Rev up the 100 MPHer, Clay and hit the assbite in his ugly face.

karen said...

No run! Good job Dre!!

Orel said...

Andre doubles up Cabrera at first! Guess 'Dre was tired of being ignored.

Paul said...

Smart play by Dre!

Fred's Brim said...

Dre with the assist!

MR.F said...

YAAA ETHIER!

FUCK YOU SHITEATER

Fred's Brim said...

dammit

karen said...

It's bad enough to lose one at the wall. Having the Shiteater catch it is fucked up.

Paul said...

Fuck you ump!

Spank said...

FUCK!

Paul said...

That last pitch was clearly outside.

Orel said...

Jerkoff solo HR off Kershaw.

Hideo Nomo said...

Well, shit.

Fred's Brim said...

christ

Fred's Brim said...

we're gonna end up hating that asshole for a long time, aren't we?

Fred's Brim said...

feels like Clayton is getting squeezed and Marquis is getting everything close

karen said...

@ FB...I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking that.

MR.F said...

I don't like how Kerhsaw's been human lately =/.

Paul said...

A perfect game guys!!! Look!

Paul said...

AG end this shit.

Paul said...

Fuck,

Fred's Brim said...

that was tattooed

karen said...

@ Paul...Yeah, Marquis pitching the perfecto and now he thinks he's going to get a hit.

Fool.

Hideo Nomo said...

This is horseshit, you guys!

Fred's Brim said...

yikes, our schedule the rest of the month is brutal. The Padres are under .500, Philly is a game under but the rest are way over: Braves +17, DBacks +8, Pirates +10(!), Yankees +9, Gnats +3 (but are a pain in the ass).

Is there any way we can figure out how to play .500 for the rest of the month?

Orel said...

Kershaw is having control problems but still has struck out six.

Fred's Brim said...

ugh

Fred's Brim said...

figure it out, Clayton

Orel said...

KKKKKKK

Fred's Brim said...

maybe one more inning for Clayton

MR.F said...

YEAH FUCK YOU SHITEATER

Paul said...

Agreed FB.

Fred's Brim said...

time for me to bow out so we can start hitting
gnite all

MR.F said...

Yay no more perfect game!

Paul said...

Night FB. Come on offense!

Cliff Beefpile said...

Van Slyke's stance is remarkably similar to that of the guy on 'Bases Loaded', the old NES game.

Paul said...

I miss that game.

Paul said...

Okay let's get a cheap run here.

karen said...

We have a rally going, dudes and dudettes!!

Orel said...

Jackass fan interfered with the ball. Cost us a run.

Orel said...

Never mind, it was foul.

Paul said...

No just a foul.

Paul said...

Vinny had me confused.

Paul said...

Crap I'm getting annoyed again.

Hideo Nomo said...

Yeah, nothing is breaking our way tonight.

Hideo Nomo said...

KERSHAW ANGRY.

Orel said...

Really impressed by FedEx's blocking skills.

Hideo Nomo said...

Fuck this ump.

Alex said...

100

Hideo Nomo said...

Game over.

Orel said...

Wow, Clayton's out of sorts.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Mother. Fucking. Uribe.

Orel said...

Wow, that "rundown" was fucked beyond belief.

Orel said...

Could we get a better replay? I thought Uribe tagged him too.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Thanks for letting the kid overpitch his way to 120, Donny. Fuck. He's turning into Dusty Baker light.

Cliff Beefpile said...

I thought Uribe got him too...but he didn't argue.

Orel said...

Slick move with the jacket, ballboy!

MR.F said...

Yeah, not digging these high pitch coutns. WTF Donnie.

Orel said...

Next pitch is #120.

Orel said...

Might as well go out in style!

KKKKKKKKK

MR.F said...

Please get a fucking hit, guys.

Orel said...

Diving catch by Blanks. BABIP gods really hate us.

Paul said...

Fuck!!!

Spank said...

Remember:

Drink lots of malt liquor when grilling outside in 110 degree weather.

(faints)

karen said...

Just when was the last no-hitter pitched at DS?

Paul said...

Puig looks off balance.

karen said...

You are a teammate of the shiteater, Marquis. You don't deserve a no-hitter.

Paul said...

Nice!!

Spank said...

no no no

karen said...

...and no soup for you, shiteater's teammate!!

Hideo Nomo said...

SKIPPY!!!!

Cliff Beefpile said...

Well, at least that takes care of the no-hitter.

MR.F said...

YESSSSS. BRING HIM HOME ADRIAN

karen said...

Time to smack a long one, Agon.

Paul said...

I like it!

Spank said...

JERKO!

Paul said...

Tie it up Handley.

Spank said...

u.g.l.y. swing

karen said...

We've got a pharmaceutical salesman pitching for us now.

Times are tough.

karen said...

I'm a salesperson. Maybe I can pitch.

Spank said...

I bet you could pitch,Karen.And you'd be tougher than these punk asses.

Orel said...

@Karen: Denny Martinez?

Orel said...

SVS!

Spank said...

SVS!

Paul said...

Good job Slick!

Orel said...

I am impressed, Scott Van Slyke.

Orel said...

Beli up in the bullpen. Gatorade coolers quaking in the dugout.

karen said...

@ Orel...I'm quaking as well.

Orel said...

I know. What's the point of getting the lead here if Beli's just going to barf it back up?

Spank said...

CAR WASH!

Orel said...

Well, we don't have to worry about that lead.

Orel said...

Beli is so hittable.

Orel said...

OK, Paco in.

karen said...

Donnie pulls Belisario before he can do his usual amount of damage.

Orel said...

One strike away....

Orel said...

All right, here we go. Puig-Schu-AGon up next.

Paul said...

That sucked.

Hideo Nomo said...

Ugh. This squeezy bastard.

karen said...

How appropriate that a guy named Jerko follows a guy named Shiteater.

Orel said...

Two on, no out for the Pads. Game over.

Orel said...

This game is both tortuous and torturous.

karen said...

You know things are going downhill when the plate umpire doesn't know the count.

Orel said...

4-2 Padres.

Orel said...

Not that it mattered, Karen. The bases-loading walk was inevitable.

Orel said...

Bases loaded again. Set up for the double play. Got 'em right where we want 'em.

Orel said...

5-2. Good night, all.

Spank said...

Wha' Happened?

Spank said...

goddamn.last nights game was over at 9:40. this game is in the ninth inning and it's 10:41.

Spank said...

HanRam double







yay

karen said...

It feels like Mattingly has given up. Maybe I'm just frustrated but it feels like he just threw the towel in in the top of the 9th.

Good job, HanRam. I think you have more heart than your manager.

Hideo Nomo said...

Ethiergh.

karen said...

And we are mercifully put out of our misery.

For tonite, anyway.

Spank said...

Dick Enberg just called Jason Marquis the Bulldog.

There's only one bulldog, motherfucker.His name is Hershiser you piece of shit.

karen said...

Enberg called Marquis the Bulldog? Fuck head.

Well, actually I thought the ass was dead.

Spank said...

He should be.

karen said...

Mattingly giving his postgame presser. I think he's crying.

Spank said...

cry baby cry? stupid fucker why? you're older enough to know better so die baby die

Spank said...

No retaliation against shiteater either. Donnie you are dead to me.

BJ Killeen said...

Well, I am stunned. Guess I thought they could win without me. My bad

Dusty Baker said...

If Karen could pitch, and I'm sure she can. she would at least had the decency to throw at Quentin.

Paul said...

Dodgers are real tough guys. Probably do something passive aggressive like talk bad about Quinten's hair behind his back. I don't think one pitch came inside. We proved that asshole's point. Now he gets room service over the plate pitches.

karen said...

@Dusty 8:06AM...You bet your sweet arse I'd throw at that asshole. Other than Clayton Kershaw, because we can't afford a suspension there, I'm ashamed of our pitching staff.

Spank said...

I say let karen be the SoSG softball team starting pitcher. RBNLAW can be the Brandon League of the team.

karen said...

Spank...Can I throw at people?

Spank said...

^shit yes you can