Wednesday, April 03, 2013

Game 3 Thread: April 3 vs. Jints, 7p


Josh Beckett (0-0, -.--) vs. Tim Lincecum (0-0, -.--).

Rubber match, anybody?

If it was 2013 Aces Day on Monday, tonight is 2009 throwback night. Timmah was distinctly un-Timmah like last year, and Beckett was dreadful before being relocated to the best coast. Was Beckett's shaky spring training indicative of a steeper decline? Are Timmah's mechanics finally catching up to him? Will the Dodgers' lineup finally have a pulse?

Given their histories, we Canterbury either of these guys just yet, but I'm counting on Beckett to be the Chaucer of the two tonight.

Image: South Park Studios

270 comments:

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Neeebs said...

I hope that Uribe doesn't hear about the free meal offered by the Tabard Inn.

Otherwise, a few of the pilgrims will go hungry.

rbnlaw said...

I'm surprised Sellers lasted so long at SS. Luckily, the Gnatd fans in front of me stood just as his throw home sailed to Manhattan Beach.

Stoopid tattooed love boy.

Paul said...

Dodgers will be Second to Nun tonight.

rbnlaw said...

Bad luck for Hiroki. Yankees got sum bad mojo.

I blame Jobu.

Steve Sax said...

Starting lineup:

1 Crawford, LF
2 Schumaker, 2B
3 Kemp, CF
4 Gonzalez, 1B
5 Ethier, RF
6 Cruz, SS
7 Tub of Lard, 3B
8 Ellis, C
9 Beckett, P

Steve Sax said...

Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote

The droghte of the Dodgers' offense hath perced to the roote

rbnlaw said...

Damn you, Bobby Burns!

Wicks said...

Hmmm...Sellers makes two errors get backed publicly by the manager and the next night he his benched? Pack your bags for AAA you non-hitting waste of a roster spot.

Dusty Baker said...

Why is Kung Fu Panda starting at 3B for us?

Dusty Baker said...

Wicks checks in - nice!!

Dusty Baker said...

(sips moscato)

Wicks said...

Thanks, Dusty. I always forget about the game threads. They are so much fun.

I can stick around for 3 innings or so living on the east coast sucks.

Hideo Nomo said...

Mattingly said today that tonight's lineup was planned before Sellers' errors, yet somehow failed to mention that last night.

Dusty Baker said...

If Gagne's Lucky Glasses would check in it would be a who's who of who has assassinated me.

Steve Sax said...

Hideki: injured by a line drive from...wait for it...Shane Victorino

"Hiroki Kuroda, the team's No. 2 starter, was forced to leave Wednesday night's game against the Boston Red Sox after his right throwing hand was grazed by a Shane Victorino leadoff line single in the second inning." (ESPN)

Dusty Baker said...

On the sofa, Vinny!

Dusty Baker said...

Drinking a Guinness, Vinny!

Dusty Baker said...

Hating the Gnats, Vinny!

Dusty Baker said...

Over-commenting, Vinny!

Dusty Baker said...

Nice play, Becks!

Dusty Baker said...

See that, SellBlock? That's how you play SS.

Dusty Baker said...

Big swing and a big miss by a big asshole. #KFP

Spank said...

*streaks*

Cliff Beefpile said...

Swing, fatass!

Dusty Baker said...

3 up, 3 down for Beckett. Nicely done!

Wicks said...

If the season ended today Beckett would win the P Gold Glove. #FACT

Dusty Baker said...

Looks like a great crown there tonight, from above.

Dusty Baker said...

Wash yer hair, Timmeh!

Cliff Beefpile said...

Pin your ears back, Timmeh!

Spank said...

booze status:screwdrivers

Cliff Beefpile said...

I like this line-up better already.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Schumaker and David Beckham, separated at birth?

Dusty Baker said...

Good call, Cliff, re Becks and Skip.

Dusty Baker said...

732% more offense than last night already.

Dusty Baker said...

Kemp just misses a HR but moves Carl Crawford over to 3B. Got something going here in the first.

Dusty Baker said...

What are we going to call Crawford? Too early to strike a name?

Crawdaddy?

Cliff Beefpile said...

Timmah!

Dusty Baker said...

Suck it Timmeh! And wash yer hair!

Paul said...

A run!

Paul said...

I'd like a homerun now.

Steve Sax said...

"Dodgers get a gift on the passed ball. And at the end of an inning, it's Dodgers 1, Giants 0."

Paul said...

That was a waste of a sloppy Timmy.

Dusty Baker said...

I gave Neeebs' mom a "sloppy Timmy" one time.

Wicks said...

Any chance we can get an inbetween inning Dodger dog eating contest between Uribe and Kun-Fu Fat Ass?

Cliff Beefpile said...

'Sloppy Timmy' is my favorite porn.

Cliff Beefpile said...

@Wicks: No, once they start they likely wouldn't stop--whether the inning was about to start or not.

Cliff Beefpile said...

5-4-3! Wash your socks, Pence!

Steve Sax said...

UJTD!

Steve Sax said...

So 76 Unocal is only giving away buy-one-get-one-free vouchers this year, rather than a free pair of tickets to a game (after four fill-ups).

BOOOOOOOO

Dusty Baker said...

In the Cold War era, they would have called Urine vs KFP eating contest "mutually assured destruction".

Steve Sax said...

Ellis with the foul out for out #3

1-0 LA after 1.5

Steve Sax said...

That Shaq jersey the Lakers retired last night?

It's backwards.

Whoops.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Uribe hits a fly ball that Charlie Steiner no doubt made radio listeners think, at first, might be a homerun.

Paul said...

Uribe doesn't even have warning track power.

Steve Sax said...

Lincecum at 24 pitches

Dusty Baker said...

Where the ladies at tonight?

Dusty Baker said...

24 days since Timmeh washed his hair, coincidentally.

Steve Sax said...

what are these horrific necklaces everyone is wearing?

Dusty Baker said...

AJEllis into second with a standup double. Suck it, bug-eyes!

Paul said...

Nice Ellis!

Steve Sax said...

Ellis with a 1-out double

Pence couldn't get there

Steve Sax said...

Pence ran a horrible line on that fly ball there, that was totally catchable

Paul said...

Sloppy Timmmah!!!

Cliff Beefpile said...

Beckett swings a decent bat for being in the AL all those years.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Sloppy Timmehs for everybody!

Steve Sax said...

Beckett coaxes a full-count walk from Timmeh!

And here comes Dave Spaghetti

Steve Sax said...

34 pitches for Timmeh

Cliff Beefpile said...

Crawford, bishes!

Dusty Baker said...

Rancho Timmehiendo!

Steve Sax said...

Crawdaddy rocking it!

NOOOOOO, they hold Jellis at third

Steve Sax said...

Crawdaddy batting .571 this season

Paul said...

Well a Sloppy Timmy doesn't give you runs....yet.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Goddammit, if they don't score at least 2 here...

Paul said...

Fuck!

Cliff Beefpile said...

Dammit, Becks!

Steve Sax said...

now would be a good time for Kemp's first hit of 2013

Dusty Baker said...

Come on, Matty - this is your time to turn it on.

Did they just announce that Kid K is pitching on Saturday?

Steve Sax said...

ball 1 to Kemp

Paul said...

Double fuck.

Dusty Baker said...

Kemp is jsut swinging at pretty much everything that comes near him.

Steve Sax said...

well that was unfortunate. Lincecum wriggles out of it.

1-0 through 2.

Steve Sax said...

When the hell is that Greinke kid pitching?

Spank said...

HAIRSTON HAIRSTON HAIRSTON!!!

Steve Sax said...

Greinke goes Friday, Kershaw Saturday and Ryu Sunday.

Hideo Nomo said...

Greinke Friday.

Steve Sax said...

And Rick Monday.

Hideo Nomo said...

DAMMIT

Steve Sax said...

there goes the one-hitter

Cliff Beefpile said...

And Wednesday Addams.

Hideo Nomo said...

We should be up at least 4-0, but it still feels more promising than last night.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Is there an ordinance against barbers in SF? Cut yer hair, Crawrord!

Steve Sax said...

I just made 11 LG hat matches on MLB.com gameday in that last break

Steve Sax said...

And Uribe Tuesday.

Steve Sax said...

Sorry, make that Fat Tuesday

Hideo Nomo said...

Fuck promising.

Steve Sax said...

Hey, ah, Josh? You may want to start pitching again.

Paul said...

Get the chicken and beer out!

Dusty Baker said...

Per Tim Brown:

"After a total of four-plus games, Kemp, Hamilton and Pujols batting .000"

Steve Sax said...

And just like that, we're losing.

Paul said...

Booooooo!

Steve Sax said...

Nice job, Schumacher.

Hideo Nomo said...

Fuck everything.

Steve Sax said...

We should have sent Jellis

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Don't put Bison in the same class with Poo Holes

Paul said...

was Skip playing double play depth?

Paul said...

Haha!

Cliff Beefpile said...

Scutaro ducks out of the way...of a strike.

Paul said...

Marco Scattero

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Becketts ERA is 7.71... Where's Harang? Is he still looking for a job?

Paul said...

How manny Timmehs can fit in a Sandoval jersey?

Steve Sax said...

Forget this shit. I'm off to the commute.

Steve Sax said...

Beckett, you piece of crap

Cliff Beefpile said...

So, yeah. When does Kershaw pitch again?

Paul said...

That was at his eyes. These fuckers.

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Put in Harang

Fred's Brim said...

Skip

Steve Sax said...

Nice inning, Beckett

NicJ said...

So we have to at least exceed our run total for the year to get a win.

Cliff Beefpile said...

2-1/3 games into the season and I already hate these guys.

Paul said...

Boooooo!

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Oh no Beckett is back on the bump. And Uribe is back at 3B... So this what $230M buys you.

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Kemp has five runners LOB. No bueno Bison.

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Kemp has five runners LOB. No bueno Bison.

Dusty Baker said...

Almost hit Urine. Try harder, Timmeh!

Alex said...

Piss

Paul said...

When does the Urine stop?

Fred's Brim said...

cmon, Skip, don't make me hate you

Fred's Brim said...

take a pitch, you clown!

Dusty Baker said...

Feeling an armpit fucking coming on.

Paul said...

This is like a 2012 review.

Neeebs said...

I have a bad feeling that this is going to be the norm this year. Thinking 2012-2013 Lakers. Our bench ia a joke.

Alex said...

Run(s) por favor

Orel said...

Dammit, how are we done by three runs? Shoulda sent A.J. in the second.

Orel said...

Matty doesn't get a hit but gets on base. It's a start.

Dusty Baker said...

Bottom of the fifth.

But I think I have another bottle of whisky here somewhere.

Orel said...

Viva Posey Clank Glove!

Cliff Beefpile said...

Busty Poser with the error, let's see how they don't score here.

Orel said...

That was worth $167 million just to see Posey muff that grounder.

Fred's Brim said...

take a pitch, Dre

Orel said...

Ethier first-pitch swinging. Advances Kemp on an easy fly out to Pagan.

Dusty Baker said...

Let's pull this back one or two runs at a time. It's still early days in the game.

Fred's Brim said...

get Matty home, Luis, do your job

Cliff Beefpile said...

We could use another wild pitch, Timmeh.

Orel said...

Another sac fly. 4-2 Giants.

Fred's Brim said...

that'll work

were hitting them hard, they're just hanging up

Alex said...

Thank you, may I have another?

Cliff Beefpile said...

Cruz gets the run in. Show an ounce of heart, Uribe.

Fred's Brim said...

Uribe, do anything

Orel said...

We're hitting them where they be. Goddamn marine layer!

Orel said...

Take one here, Uribe.

Fred's Brim said...

Uribe looks a little less chubby to me

Cliff Beefpile said...

FUCK! Take that pitch, lardass! That was ball 4.

Fred's Brim said...

whaaaa?

Paul said...

I'll take it.

Dusty Baker said...

Timmeh with 7 walks. AJEllis is going to make him pay.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Well, there's only so much room at the buffet now with Ryu around. Uribe had to cut down his portions.

Orel said...

Uribe tried his best to strike out but Timmeh held on for the walk.

Paul said...

Sloppy Timmy on a plate AJ.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Pence can't lose it in the moon.

Paul said...

Garbage

Orel said...

Dammit, how many times are we going to let Lincecum off the hook?

Paul said...

Our "Offense" has yet to score an honest run.

Dusty Baker said...

"Boy the music is loud. Let's go back to this one."

All Vinny could muster tonight between 5-6 inning? Weird.

Orel said...

Vin complaining about the music levels on live TV. Maybe that'll get them to turn it down a little.

Cliff Beefpile said...

I'm with you, Vinny. Get off my lawn! Damn kids, with your loud rock music.

Dusty Baker said...

And your yeah-yeah music.

Fred's Brim said...

good call, Paul - I have forgotten what a real run feels like - I would love to see a couple of doubles in a row next inning

Fred's Brim said...

god damn

Orel said...

Pence HR. So much for the marine layer theory.

Fred's Brim said...

he didn't even hit that hard

Cliff Beefpile said...

Fuck you, Beckett.

Dusty Baker said...

Yep, the ball just carries out of DS early in the year when the air is cool and the marine layer has descended. Pure physics.

Fred's Brim said...

selective marine layer?

Orel said...

So. Nothing has changed from last year.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Well, one thing's changed, the line-up did get more expensive, even if it didn't get any more effective.

Fred's Brim said...

Maybe the Gnats are the best team in the league and we are the second best

Fred's Brim said...

Ned has an evil fu-manchu kickin

Cliff Beefpile said...

A hit!

Orel said...

Kemp's lost his pop, Ethier's lost his patience, AGon's lost his youth.

Orel said...

Mellis with the bloop power!

Fred's Brim said...

Brandown Crawford looks like a extra from Jackass

Cliff Beefpile said...

Hit(s)!

Orel said...

Two consecutive singles. I believe this qualifies as a major display of power.

Orel said...

Game 3 and I'm already so bitter.

Orel said...

Ah, the old bunt. Just like old times.

Orel said...

That was a hack by Skip!

Cliff Beefpile said...

Rancho Mijariendo!

Fred's Brim said...

that was the best possible outcome for that at bat

Orel said...

Mr. Schu HBP. I think I like this Mijares fellow.

Paul said...

At least Crawford can hit. We should have him bunt more.


Come on Kemp!

Cliff Beefpile said...

What did they end up doing with Brian Wilson? Did he sign somewhere else?

Fred's Brim said...

Cmon, Matty, Paul wants some real runs!

Neeebs said...

Game ia right here. In it or not.

Cliff Beefpile said...

@FB: Yeah, that's the only way he Schumaker was gonna get on base.

Paul said...

I saw BrianWilson selling peanuts outside the stadium.

Orel said...

Bases juiced, no out, Kemp up, Kontos pitching. How will we squander this situation?

Orel said...

Looks like Brian Wilson is currently unsigned.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Please, Matty. PLEASE.

Paul said...

2-0!

Orel said...

If he faces only Kemp, will that be the Kontosmininum?

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