Josh Beckett (0-0, -.--) vs. Tim Lincecum (0-0, -.--).
Rubber match, anybody?
If it was 2013 Aces Day on Monday, tonight is 2009 throwback night. Timmah was distinctly un-Timmah like last year, and Beckett was dreadful before being relocated to the best coast. Was Beckett's shaky spring training indicative of a steeper decline? Are Timmah's mechanics finally catching up to him? Will the Dodgers' lineup finally have a pulse?
Given their histories, we Canterbury either of these guys just yet, but I'm counting on Beckett to be the Chaucer of the two tonight.
Image: South Park Studios
254 comments:
1 – 200 of 254 Newer› Newest»I hope that Uribe doesn't hear about the free meal offered by the Tabard Inn.
Otherwise, a few of the pilgrims will go hungry.
I'm surprised Sellers lasted so long at SS. Luckily, the Gnatd fans in front of me stood just as his throw home sailed to Manhattan Beach.
Stoopid tattooed love boy.
Dodgers will be Second to Nun tonight.
Bad luck for Hiroki. Yankees got sum bad mojo.
I blame Jobu.
Starting lineup:
1 Crawford, LF
2 Schumaker, 2B
3 Kemp, CF
4 Gonzalez, 1B
5 Ethier, RF
6 Cruz, SS
7 Tub of Lard, 3B
8 Ellis, C
9 Beckett, P
Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote
The droghte of the Dodgers' offense hath perced to the roote
Damn you, Bobby Burns!
Hmmm...Sellers makes two errors get backed publicly by the manager and the next night he his benched? Pack your bags for AAA you non-hitting waste of a roster spot.
Why is Kung Fu Panda starting at 3B for us?
Wicks checks in - nice!!
(sips moscato)
Thanks, Dusty. I always forget about the game threads. They are so much fun.
I can stick around for 3 innings or so living on the east coast sucks.
Mattingly said today that tonight's lineup was planned before Sellers' errors, yet somehow failed to mention that last night.
If Gagne's Lucky Glasses would check in it would be a who's who of who has assassinated me.
Hideki: injured by a line drive from...wait for it...Shane Victorino
"Hiroki Kuroda, the team's No. 2 starter, was forced to leave Wednesday night's game against the Boston Red Sox after his right throwing hand was grazed by a Shane Victorino leadoff line single in the second inning." (ESPN)
On the sofa, Vinny!
Drinking a Guinness, Vinny!
Hating the Gnats, Vinny!
Over-commenting, Vinny!
Nice play, Becks!
See that, SellBlock? That's how you play SS.
Big swing and a big miss by a big asshole. #KFP
*streaks*
Swing, fatass!
3 up, 3 down for Beckett. Nicely done!
If the season ended today Beckett would win the P Gold Glove. #FACT
Looks like a great crown there tonight, from above.
Wash yer hair, Timmeh!
Pin your ears back, Timmeh!
booze status:screwdrivers
I like this line-up better already.
Schumaker and David Beckham, separated at birth?
Good call, Cliff, re Becks and Skip.
732% more offense than last night already.
Kemp just misses a HR but moves Carl Crawford over to 3B. Got something going here in the first.
What are we going to call Crawford? Too early to strike a name?
Crawdaddy?
Timmah!
Suck it Timmeh! And wash yer hair!
A run!
I'd like a homerun now.
"Dodgers get a gift on the passed ball. And at the end of an inning, it's Dodgers 1, Giants 0."
That was a waste of a sloppy Timmy.
I gave Neeebs' mom a "sloppy Timmy" one time.
'Sloppy Timmy' is my favorite porn.
@Wicks: No, once they start they likely wouldn't stop--whether the inning was about to start or not.
5-4-3! Wash your socks, Pence!
So 76 Unocal is only giving away buy-one-get-one-free vouchers this year, rather than a free pair of tickets to a game (after four fill-ups).
BOOOOOOOO
In the Cold War era, they would have called Urine vs KFP eating contest "mutually assured destruction".
Ellis with the foul out for out #3
1-0 LA after 1.5
That Shaq jersey the Lakers retired last night?
It's backwards.
Whoops.
Uribe hits a fly ball that Charlie Steiner no doubt made radio listeners think, at first, might be a homerun.
Uribe doesn't even have warning track power.
Lincecum at 24 pitches
Where the ladies at tonight?
24 days since Timmeh washed his hair, coincidentally.
what are these horrific necklaces everyone is wearing?
AJEllis into second with a standup double. Suck it, bug-eyes!
Nice Ellis!
Ellis with a 1-out double
Pence couldn't get there
Pence ran a horrible line on that fly ball there, that was totally catchable
Sloppy Timmmah!!!
Beckett swings a decent bat for being in the AL all those years.
Sloppy Timmehs for everybody!
Beckett coaxes a full-count walk from Timmeh!
And here comes Dave Spaghetti
34 pitches for Timmeh
Crawford, bishes!
Rancho Timmehiendo!
Crawdaddy rocking it!
NOOOOOO, they hold Jellis at third
Crawdaddy batting .571 this season
Well a Sloppy Timmy doesn't give you runs....yet.
Goddammit, if they don't score at least 2 here...
Dammit, Becks!
now would be a good time for Kemp's first hit of 2013
Come on, Matty - this is your time to turn it on.
Did they just announce that Kid K is pitching on Saturday?
ball 1 to Kemp
Double fuck.
Kemp is jsut swinging at pretty much everything that comes near him.
well that was unfortunate. Lincecum wriggles out of it.
1-0 through 2.
When the hell is that Greinke kid pitching?
HAIRSTON HAIRSTON HAIRSTON!!!
Greinke goes Friday, Kershaw Saturday and Ryu Sunday.
Greinke Friday.
And Rick Monday.
there goes the one-hitter
And Wednesday Addams.
We should be up at least 4-0, but it still feels more promising than last night.
Is there an ordinance against barbers in SF? Cut yer hair, Crawrord!
I just made 11 LG hat matches on MLB.com gameday in that last break
And Uribe Tuesday.
Sorry, make that Fat Tuesday
Hey, ah, Josh? You may want to start pitching again.
Get the chicken and beer out!
Per Tim Brown:
"After a total of four-plus games, Kemp, Hamilton and Pujols batting .000"
And just like that, we're losing.
Booooooo!
Nice job, Schumacher.
Fuck everything.
We should have sent Jellis
Don't put Bison in the same class with Poo Holes
was Skip playing double play depth?
Scutaro ducks out of the way...of a strike.
Marco Scattero
Becketts ERA is 7.71... Where's Harang? Is he still looking for a job?
How manny Timmehs can fit in a Sandoval jersey?
Forget this shit. I'm off to the commute.
Beckett, you piece of crap
So, yeah. When does Kershaw pitch again?
Put in Harang
Skip
Nice inning, Beckett
So we have to at least exceed our run total for the year to get a win.
2-1/3 games into the season and I already hate these guys.
Oh no Beckett is back on the bump. And Uribe is back at 3B... So this what $230M buys you.
Kemp has five runners LOB. No bueno Bison.
Kemp has five runners LOB. No bueno Bison.
Almost hit Urine. Try harder, Timmeh!
Piss
When does the Urine stop?
cmon, Skip, don't make me hate you
This is like a 2012 review.
I have a bad feeling that this is going to be the norm this year. Thinking 2012-2013 Lakers. Our bench ia a joke.
Run(s) por favor
Dammit, how are we done by three runs? Shoulda sent A.J. in the second.
Matty doesn't get a hit but gets on base. It's a start.
Bottom of the fifth.
But I think I have another bottle of whisky here somewhere.
Viva Posey Clank Glove!
Busty Poser with the error, let's see how they don't score here.
That was worth $167 million just to see Posey muff that grounder.
take a pitch, Dre
Ethier first-pitch swinging. Advances Kemp on an easy fly out to Pagan.
Let's pull this back one or two runs at a time. It's still early days in the game.
get Matty home, Luis, do your job
We could use another wild pitch, Timmeh.
Another sac fly. 4-2 Giants.
that'll work
were hitting them hard, they're just hanging up
Thank you, may I have another?
Cruz gets the run in. Show an ounce of heart, Uribe.
Uribe, do anything
We're hitting them where they be. Goddamn marine layer!
Take one here, Uribe.
Uribe looks a little less chubby to me
FUCK! Take that pitch, lardass! That was ball 4.
whaaaa?
I'll take it.
Timmeh with 7 walks. AJEllis is going to make him pay.
Well, there's only so much room at the buffet now with Ryu around. Uribe had to cut down his portions.
Uribe tried his best to strike out but Timmeh held on for the walk.
Sloppy Timmy on a plate AJ.
Pence can't lose it in the moon.
Garbage
Dammit, how many times are we going to let Lincecum off the hook?
Our "Offense" has yet to score an honest run.
"Boy the music is loud. Let's go back to this one."
All Vinny could muster tonight between 5-6 inning? Weird.
Vin complaining about the music levels on live TV. Maybe that'll get them to turn it down a little.
I'm with you, Vinny. Get off my lawn! Damn kids, with your loud rock music.
And your yeah-yeah music.
good call, Paul - I have forgotten what a real run feels like - I would love to see a couple of doubles in a row next inning
god damn
Pence HR. So much for the marine layer theory.
he didn't even hit that hard
Fuck you, Beckett.
Yep, the ball just carries out of DS early in the year when the air is cool and the marine layer has descended. Pure physics.
selective marine layer?
So. Nothing has changed from last year.
Well, one thing's changed, the line-up did get more expensive, even if it didn't get any more effective.
Maybe the Gnats are the best team in the league and we are the second best
Ned has an evil fu-manchu kickin
A hit!
Kemp's lost his pop, Ethier's lost his patience, AGon's lost his youth.
Mellis with the bloop power!
Brandown Crawford looks like a extra from Jackass
Hit(s)!
Two consecutive singles. I believe this qualifies as a major display of power.
Game 3 and I'm already so bitter.
Ah, the old bunt. Just like old times.
That was a hack by Skip!
Rancho Mijariendo!
that was the best possible outcome for that at bat
Mr. Schu HBP. I think I like this Mijares fellow.
At least Crawford can hit. We should have him bunt more.
Come on Kemp!
What did they end up doing with Brian Wilson? Did he sign somewhere else?
Cmon, Matty, Paul wants some real runs!
Game ia right here. In it or not.
@FB: Yeah, that's the only way he Schumaker was gonna get on base.
I saw BrianWilson selling peanuts outside the stadium.
Bases juiced, no out, Kemp up, Kontos pitching. How will we squander this situation?
Looks like Brian Wilson is currently unsigned.
Please, Matty. PLEASE.
2-0!
If he faces only Kemp, will that be the Kontosmininum?
Kershaw's bitch on the mound. C'mon Kemp!!!
sheesh
How my ass taste, Kemp? Jesus.
Garbage! Uribe could've done that.
Pardon my French.
Maybe Matty needs to run into another wall.
Terrible
So...much...HATE!
We truly are in mid-season form.
I've only had two beers tonight. I'm definitely not in mid-season form yet.
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