Clayton Kershaw (2-2, 1.88) vs. Jon Niese (2-1, 3.80).
I don't mean to be gauche, but we do have a pair of lefties on the mound at Citi Field today. Kershaw is coming off his worst start of the year, having given up five runs against the lowly Padres--more runs than he had given up all year. The Dodgers' woeful offensive support can be blamed for Kershaw's mediocre W-L record; of four games this year, he's received 0, 1, 2, and 4 runs of support, the latter of which was only catalyzed after Kershaw himself hit his first career HR. Niese is also coming off an outing in which he gave up the most hits all year (nine hits, and 3 ER over 6.0 IP).
Between Niese, and the fact the Mets rank 13th in NL opponents' OBP, even our offense might have a chance. We'll need it, especially since the Mets have scored almost twice as many runs this year as the Dodgers (99 to 54). If we can just make sure our speedos don't bunch up and we give Kershaw a bit more (underwire) support (i.e., we don't go topless), we should be Nice, indeed.
147 comments:
Going NSFW for page views! Love it!
Wow, boobs.
Re: Billingsley.
Somewhere, Will Carroll is smiling smugly to himself.
If you hadn't seen at least one before, you wouldn't recognize 'em.
I'm so glad Uribe is not in this picture.
No toplessness for FB tonight, not in the coldest stadium in baseball!
Guys, if you wear a thong instead of a Speedo it won't bunch. From one who knows.
Please, no more mental images of anyone in a thong or a speedo. It's game time. Let's get Mets! GO BLUE!
I'm wearing my lucky grape-smugglers in honor of this thread.
Crawford LF
Mellis 2B
Kemp CF
Gonzalez 1B
Hairston 3B
Ethier RF
Ajellis C
Sellers SS
Kershaw P
This game thread has given me the idea of loading up porn on my phone so I can just pull it up while at work.
Just sayin'
Pull it up? That might hurt.
Teddy Atlas sighting
Offense... what's the opposite of sighting?
Come on Sellers. Just get the bat to Kershaw.
OFFENSE!
In play, runs!
Well, that's enough of that. Offense in moderation, people.
Damnit Kershaw! You are better than a GIDP!
Shockingly, not totally wasted. (Neither I, nor the opportunity)
Looks cold.
That was unfair.
Whoa, whoa! Ellis, put your pants back on!
Come on Matt!!!!!!!
Oh oh, my arm my arm! Good excuse to put in a better pitcher.
Ouch. That looked like that hurt.
Not to make light of any pitcher injury, given our luck this year...
Ahh what happened?
Nonetheless, I'll take 5 innings of bullpen to start ANY series.
Hey, just got here late. What happened to Niese? Who is this Carson guy?
Pretty sure the deflection on the Ellis hit got'im
Meanwhile, it's time for me to drink on company time.
Ahhh. I have Niese on my fantasy team!
Another Kemp 2013 Special (aka single).
Come on guys.
I see Mark Ellis' base-running acumen hasn't improved at all.
Two on, one out, 4-5 in lineup coming up?
No scorage.
Can someone please explain why 3B is such a parade of futility for us?
Blah.
(Puts on speedo)
There's like 34 people at Citi Field tonight.
Kershaw starting to shake here. Two straight two-out walks in the bottom of the third.
Balls
Are you kidding me. Mets tie it up with two out in the third.
Come on, Kersh.
This is not Nice.
I suppose that's punishment for walking the damn pitcher.
Kershaw looks like he's overthrowing here
Game time temperature: 52 degrees
Wright has two strikes but gets a hit to center. Kemp proceeds to fumble the ball, allowing the runner to reach third from first.
2-1 Mets.
It's one thing when we can't support Kershaw with any offense. But now we can't support him with any defense, either?
Get it together, Dodgers.
Shut it down. Game over.
I blame the beard
iuhu.tnashkeu;bcnaskdhcr;eusihkbutansuh.acrskbjhw;
Kersh on pace to last about 4 2/3 at this rate
Get up and help him out, AJ
Rancho ardiendo bad guys
Sweet Jeebus that was a rough ride.
2-1 Mets, end 3
I'm sorry, was that just a 39 pitch inning? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Clayton?
No worries, our bullpen has been nails.
No, wait, I was thinking of some other fellas.
Kings are losing 2-0. I hate sports.
He's untouchable, except for that 1 inning...
Mellis!
Thank God for Mellis!
Solo HR with two out. Tied at 2.
Good call by Collins, btw.
I guess that's the only way he can't fuck up on the base paths.
Congrats Mellis on 100.
Clayton seems to hit a wall after out #2
Oh great, Belli is warming up. Well, so much for this game.
Clayton with a two-out walk, again
5 IP, 111 pitches. Very un-Claytonesque.
My 4 2/3 call was off.
Barely.
@Sax: Well, I think we've all had a gotten tuckered out after a tough number two. Especially when there's nothing to read.
It's like Kershaw is channeling his inner Billingsley.
Solidarity between teammates?
So, let's make up for past sins and get that man a skin-of-our-teeth win
A-Gon looked horrible there
Better shuffle that lineup again, Donnie. We still can't hit for shit.
I'll give the guy hitting over .350 a pass. This time.
Ethier hasn't had a hit since 4/20
That's at least 11 straight unfruitful ABs
Check that: Andre Ethier has now had 14 straight unproductive ABs. He hasn't had a hit since his first-inning HR in Baltimore on Saturday.
Kershaw only lasted five innings. And here's Belisario to lose the game for us.
Don't be silly, it will take a combination of Belisario AND Uribe to lose the game for us.
Well, if a guy is struggling, you should always have him work out his issues in the fifth inning of a tie game.
Belisario time. At least my expectations have disappeared.
Sixth. Again I can't count.
To be fair, Beli usually doesn't start the season for another month and a half, so it's understandable
3 up, 3 down.
I can get behind that.
Yay.
Might I point out that there are 4 guys in this lineup that ARE hitting. That should highlight the spectacular failure of the other 4 regulars.
admittedly, that was a pretty clean sixth inning from Belli
AJ Ellis with a 3-2 called strike 3. booooooo
gotta swing at those, AJ
QUIT FUCKING BUNTING SELLERS
Yep. Credit where credit is due. Now don't fuck it up.
I don't get why Sellers thinks he's Brett Butler here.
(sees sellers' pathetic swing on a 1-1 pitch outside)
Hmm, maybe bunting makes sense.
And Sellers reaches! Way to get back to Mendoza, Justin!
Well, ok then! urine GIDP?
Bladder call! Here's Urine.
Holy crap, hit and run with THESE two? Donnie's got balls like churchbells.
Urine flows to first base!
(on a walk, of course)
First and second, one out.
How will the Dodgers waste THIS opportunity?!
Two on, 1 out, and a pair of respectable hitters coming up.
Can't WAIT to see how we get out of this one!
DAMMIT!
Crawford hits it to the right side, which is basically a sacrifice. Which should be good, except he's one of the only guys hitting in this lineup. And we usually can't score without trading an out.
2 RISP, two out, Mellis up.
Come on MELLIS!
MELLISSSSSS!
Holy Toledo, I did NOT see that one coming.
I am stunned.
Sellers enters the dugout and McGwire is pointing at him and telling him something. Probably something like, "You're at .204, little guy! Keep up the good work!"
Lyon's ERA just jumped three and a half points in one swing.
Ah, Kemp makes an out. That's more familiar.
He'll be alright, but you gotta think the shoulder surgery = power outage until he get it back into condition.
Congrats Juan Lagares, on your first major league base hit!
Dear Andre Ethier: my fantasy team could really use a hit to break your 0-for-forever slump.
When did FedEx come back? Yeah!
Ask and ye shall receive from Andre Ethier.
Why didn't AGon score from first on that double? He is soooooo sloooooooow
Maybe AGon thinks he needs to pace himself at James Loney speeds
Nice to see Ethier break out of the slump (after I bagged on him at 6:18p).
Holy shit! Who are these guys?
"Ethier may catch Gonzalez at home"--Eric Collins
Ellis with a two-run double!
Mental note: more saggy boobs in future GTs
7-2 Dodgers.
Fred's Brim had better be at this game, dammit
In play, runs!
Pile that shit on.
Not even Guh-rear can dig them out of this hole.
Have a good AB, Matt.
Nice hit, Matty!
THAT is the Kemp we love! He roped that double to right center (fifth of the year)
Nice swing there by Matty. Finally.
Citi Field has one sad blue-hooded kid sitting alone behind home plate.
Power stroke! Confidence builder!
Josh Wall, in for the ninth. Bringing his 10.13 ERA with him.
That was one shaggy matchup.
That's a win right there!
Two in a row.
Baby steps.
Win win win!
SAGGY BOOBS PARTY!!!!!!!!!
^Is there any better kind?
We make speedo party!
In other words Mr. F. We make Uribe Party!!
PGT up!
That turned out to be very fun
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