Clayton Kershaw (2-1, 1.16) vs. Tyson Ross (0-1, 4.82).
I don't know what's worse, the fact that tonight is Hello Kitty Fleece Blanket night (Charley Steiner said yesterday that it was sold out, but tickets appear to be readily available online), or the fact that the Dodgers already feel the need to distribute items for fans to use to shield their eyes from the horrors on the field.
This three-game "homestand" (more like a "home drive by") mercifully ends tonight, as Clayton Kershaw tries to keep a stiff upper lip despite suffering through three games of the Dodgers' pathetic offense. The Dodgers have scored a run in only two of the frames in the three games when he's pitched--and one of the Dodgers' "big" scoring innings was only catalyzed after Kershaw knocked his own HR, the first of his career (on opening day).
Maybe it's Kershaw who needs the fleece blanket, so he can stay warm juxtaposed with the Dodgers' ice-cold bats.
But enough worrying about how the Padres will sweep if Tyson corners us. How about something uplifting? Watch this masterpiece:
81 comments:
Patton Oswalt is a genius. Using the Reality Gem to cross into the Star Wars universe is genius!
I find my lack of faith disturbing...
As someone on Gawker pointed out, the Avengers use quinjets; the X-Men have the Blackbird. But close enough.
And X-23 is a clone of Wolverine, but close enough!
Fuck you,Jobu
No Kemp.
Crawford LF
M Ellis 2B
Ethier RF
Gonzalez 1B
AJ Ellis C
Schumaker CF
Punto 3B
Sellers SS
Kershaw P
Kershaw should bat sixth.
I'm kinda glad Kemp is getting a day to clear his head...
"Is this some sort of sick joke? Really, who's trying to shit me here?"
-Clayton Kershaw upon reading the line up card.
I may not be a buyer, but I'm no fan of Sellers either.
Burnett loses his no-hitter with two out in the seventh.
Snakes up 3-0 on the YankMes, B7
SF down 1-0 in Milwaukee, T4
Utah 38, Memphis 40 at halftime
I have loved Patton Oswalt from way ba on King of Queens.
Capuano's injury is Shitlos Quenfuck's fault.
http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20130417&content_id=45074436¬ebook_id=45074438&vkey=notebook_la&c_id=la
Eric Karros' hair on the pre-game show is looking awfully wavy.
Like, Tarzan style.
Please win, Dodgers. This has been a shitty afternoon.
Arizona loses 4-3.
SF and MIL tied at 3 in the sixth.
Thanks for the tip on Capster, Mr. F. Post going up shortly.
Re: Patton Oswalt's rant:
How awesome is it that he references Moon Knight!
broke out the ol' transistor so i can listen to vin for the first time this season.
whoops,padre telecast about 30 seconds ahead of the radio.
alrighty then. now the radio is ahead of the tv. what the fuck? am i stuck in a wormhole?
Jellis up there hacking like a he's got a machete
Ethier on second (bloop single to left), AGon on first (walk). Two out. And Jellis...
...lazy fly ball to right field. Yawn.
0-0 through one.
Giants tied at 3 in the 8th with the Brewers.
Punto absolutely frozen up there for out #2 in the second
Two on, two out for Richie Weeks in the bottom of the eighth
Sellers gets a hit! What?!?!?!?
Oh, it's two outs and Kershaw is up next. I get it.
Sellout crowd tonight...
Jazz lose. Lakers are in the playoffs.
Weeks had a 3-0 count and has worked it back to a 3-2 count
Weeks lines out to left. SF 3, MIL 3, going to the ninth.
@Mr F 4:29p: It's comical to me that Oswalt rattles off all five gems of the infinity gauntlet like they're totally commonplace
What's up with Kid K's beard?
Long hit to center field fro Tyson Ross, but it looks like he injured his shoulder on the swing (he's aching over at first). Interesting.
If only Ross' swing could have injured Carlos Quentin as well, we'd be set here.
Padres pitchers have a three run homer and now a double oh no the longest single ever. .
Clayton K to end the inning.
gomer pyle strikes out
Giants get a two-out single but strand him. Brewers due in the bottom of the ninth, tied at 3
lakers down by two. 18 - 16
Blake!! three pointer
21-18 after a Jamison layup.
not Jenna
1st and third no out for Ethier.
Crawford singles and steals second. Mellis hits it straight to Denorfria, who bobbles it, but Crawford missed the sign from Wallach and is still at third.
Mellis gets no RBI
Jonathan Lucroy takes a nine-pitch AB to single to center with none out.
that was not good.dre
24-21 Rockets
Ethier flies to very short center.
ONe out
Why did Guzman catch that deep foul ball? That allowed Crawford to score the Dodgers' run!
agonzo sac fly scores crawdude. nice catch by guzman
Brewers have the bases juiced with one out, bottom 9
Brewers win! Giants lose!
Santiago Casilla takes the loss for the Giants
Let's go, Skipster
Lakers game is moot since Utah lost.
Playoffs??
hedley
Schumacher grounds to first. Of course.
gotta go guys. see you on the other side
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Kid K gives up a homer
pinche punto....catch the ball!!
it's going to be one of those games,folks. i'm getting ready to puke.
bases loaded no outs. kid k is throwing tons of pitches
run scores on a double play
2-1 madres
Sorry I'm late. In enemy territory (Nor Cal). Can't watch, just listening. Don't like what I'm hearing so far.
Waving a white flag....
4-1. Fuck the padres.
So glad I'm at a hockey game right now.
#earlycollapse
Oh, it's the Ducks, but still hockey.
Steve sax,that was .... Awesome!
Thank you for sharing that. The force is strong with you.
Crying....no, sobbing.
Dodgers getting a beat down.
We are getting the same value for our money here as we are with electric vehicle company loans.
3 Homer Simpsons in one game, damn.
So if the padres hit another home run and I don't hear it, did it really happen.
Stop with the depressing stats Charlie. We get it. THEY SUCK.
i'm ready to break out an expletive filled tirade about the smug padres announcers so i best split.
Fuck you,Enberg!
you too,Jobu
I'm done. Going to bed. Gotta do a presentation tomorrow and if I keep listening, I'll hit someone from anger and frustration. Good luck. Goodnight.
Good luck on the presentation, BJ!
PGT up.
(reminds self that it's only the 2nd week of the season, cries)
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