Monday, April 01, 2013

Game 1 Thread: April 1 vs. Giants, 1p (Opening Day)


"1, 2, 3, 4, I declare Thumb War!"

Clayton Kershaw (0-0, -.--) vs. Matt Cain (0-0, -.--)

No foolin'! The Sons have (begrudgingly) set aside our tradition of annoying the hell out of you with April Fools pranks to honor an even greater tradition: Opening Day.

And what an Opening Day! This game just about has it all: the best pitching matchup in baseball, the lofty expectations of a team with a massive payroll, 56,000+ fans jammed into a Dodger Stadium with brand-spanking new amenities, and, of course, the unparalleled fervor of the rivalry with the hated Giants.

Pregame festivities include tributes to the 1963 and 1988 World Series Championships, on their 50th and 25th anniversaries (*cries*), a performance by Blue Man Group, the traditional flag presentation, and a video highlighting the history of the Opening Day first pitch. The person throwing out the first pitch hasn't been announced at the time of this writing, but the buzz on Twitter is that it's Sandy Koufax. (*cries again*)

It's Vin!
It's Kershaw!
It's Kemp!
It's A-Gon!
It's...Justin Sellers?

It's (FINALLY!) tiiiiiiiiime for Dodger Basebaaallllllll!

Go Blue!

Update (12:00pm): Cool pic from the Dodgers' Twitter:

Image via Dodgers.com.

347 comments:

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Franklin Stubbs said...

I remember this part!

Spank said...

fuck man. score a run already. shit.

Orel said...

Who remembers Delino's theme song?

Steve Sax said...

Orel, you should be at this game.

Orel said...

So, Vin just said "hot mess."

Orel said...

Thanks, Sax. I called an audible and bailed on work today.

Orel said...

Pyat Pree with warning-track power.

Orel said...

Another 1-2-3 for Clayton.

Neeebs said...

Kershaw is doing his thing.

Come on you lumber-less lumberers!

Hit the F**king ball.

Neeebs said...

Is the wi-fi/cell service improved at the stadium as promised???

Hideo Nomo said...

Kershaw/Cain is a pitcher's duel? No shit!

Hideo Nomo said...

@Neeebs: They very quietly admitted last week that cell service won't be improved until 2nd homestand and wi-fi won't be improved until June.

Franklin Stubbs said...

I think it was mentioned that the upgraded network won't be unveiled until the next homestand in the previous thread.

Franklin Stubbs said...

DAMMIT!

Orel said...

By all accounts, DS wifi is still a work in progress.

Orel said...

DAMMIT

Spank said...

hey i got a great idea. let's swing at the first pitch.

Franklin Stubbs said...

I'm not even the season's first DAMMIT, dammit!

Hideo Nomo said...

Kershaw homer here.

Franklin Stubbs said...

...or that.

Hideo Nomo said...

Or not.

Franklin Stubbs said...

Yegads.

I sneezed and missed the inning.

Hideo Nomo said...

This is looking like a 13-inning game that will still come in under three hours.

Spank said...

I've taken leaks that lasted longer than that inning.,

Orel said...

The Prime Ticket audio dept. is having a rough day.

Franklin Stubbs said...

I don't like the loss of the "pitch-by-pitch" summary option (redundant though it may be).

Neeebs said...

I missed the wifi/Cell post probably because I was distracted by a renegade commentator.

Spank said...

another nasty curve by the kid.

Orel said...

KKKKK

Hideo Nomo said...

Using Vin to introduce Charley and Rick after every commercial break seems like a waste of Vin.

MR.F said...

Wotchale y'all. Checking into the game thread now. Smonk is watching the game at home.

Steve Sax said...

I hope we can score one or more runs

Orel said...

Vin still says the word "Twitter" with a bit of distaste.

Orel said...

Pence payoff!

Steve Sax said...

I'll take it

Franklin Stubbs said...

A hit!

Spank said...

hahaha

Orel said...

Vin is busting Hunter Pence's chops!

MR.F said...

Hunter Pence lulz

Orel said...

Bounce throw by Sandoval seemed unnecessary, but it got the job done.

Spank said...

that was weak,Kemp

Steve Sax said...

Dammit kemp

Spank said...

fucking hell. swing!

Hideo Nomo said...

Ugh.

Franklin Stubbs said...

Oooooh, I can taste the incipient failure.

Steve Sax said...

Fuuuuuck

Franklin Stubbs said...

You sons-o-hurrs! SCORE!

Orel said...

A Whole New Incipient Failure

Franklin Stubbs said...

Same as the old failure?

Franklin Stubbs said...

Ooof. That's the stuff.

Hideo Nomo said...

I need a Whole New Brew.

Spank said...

fucking hell. swing motherfuckers!!

Franklin Stubbs said...

We need to find a happy medium between swinging at the first pitch and catatonia

Orel said...

"The Dodgers, of course, are ready to eat their gloves, or saw their bats in half, whatever you want to say." —Vin

rbnlaw said...

Well, this is certainly not how I envisioned Opening Day.

*meaning I'm sober*

Orel said...

Cruz flashing the leather!

"That was a blur. It was like catching an echo! And somehow he caught it." —Vin

rbnlaw said...

Where are the smartass motherfuckers who called Cruz,"the best SS in AAA?"

Franklin Stubbs said...

Cain at 92 pitches. We can crack this mofo.

Spank said...

first game of the season and i'm already sick and tired of GBA.


BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Hideo Nomo said...

Keep it up, Kid K. I'm not ready to trust the bullpen in a scoreless game against the Giants on Opening Day.

Hideo Nomo said...

Cain is out, per Twitter.

Franklin Stubbs said...

It's no "Deutschland uber Alles", I'll give you that.

Orel said...

OK we knocked Cain out. Kontos in. Let's stop sucking.

MR.F said...

GO FOR THE JUG

Hideo Nomo said...

Cruz needed a bit more BP today.

Orel said...

LAA 1, CIN 1, top 7

Steve Sax said...

Dammit, Jellis out

Hideo Nomo said...

Wurgh.

QuadSevens said...

Back at my desk after actually having to do work. Did I miss anything exciting?

Orel said...

A lot of first-pitch swinging.

Orel said...

KKKKKK

Orel said...

Holy shit it's the 8th inning already.

Hideo Nomo said...

I didn't even notice that Andres Torres was back.

Orel said...

KKKKKKK

Hideo Nomo said...

85 pitches through 8. IN-FUCKING-SANE.

Orel said...

We should totally extend this guy.

Franklin Stubbs said...

I like the efficiency from the Kid.

Orel said...

Jon Weisman ‏@jonweisman 10s

Kershaw has a bat and on the field.

Orel said...

OMFG

Franklin Stubbs said...

SHUT THE FUCK UP

Spank said...

FUCK YEAH MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

rbnlaw said...

Mr. "I'll do it myself," ladies and gentledrunks.

karina said...

well, Minotaur, if they don't hit, do it yourself!

Orel said...

His first ML HR!

Hideo Nomo said...

I think I just fainted.

QuadSevens said...

Did I just read that?!?!


"Pay him his money!"

rbnlaw said...

And the floodgates open.

Steve Sax said...

Holy shit!

Franklin Stubbs said...

MOAR!

MR.F said...

WOW.

Seeing Kershaw's numbers in the box score arouses me sexually.

Steve Sax said...

Oyster pubes BLOWS THE PLAY

karina said...

THAT'S HOW I LIKE MY BASEBALL!!!!

Orel said...

Ha ha, Posey sno-coned it!

rbnlaw said...

Hey, Gnats. What happened to the wheels on your wagon?

Orel said...

@MR.F: "Seeing Kershaw's numbers in the box score arouses me sexually."

Fanerman in mid-season form!

Hideo Nomo said...

Guys, seriously, I can barely type.

Orel said...

"Boy, this is not just an Opening Day game. I mean, this is the kind of a game you see in the playoffs, and certainly in the World Series." —Vin

Steve Sax said...

Oyster pubes blows another play!!!

Orel said...

2-0 Dodgers!

Hideo Nomo said...

MOAR!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

rbnlaw said...

Somebody go get me some new wheels!
-Bruce Bochy

Spank said...

Gnats falling apart. Love it.

Steve Sax said...

Casilla already gets yanked! No trust from Bochy

Franklin Stubbs said...

Pour it on, you bastards.

Steve Sax said...

They hit AGon? Fuck them

Franklin Stubbs said...

Can we get a balk for the cycle of pitching futility?

Franklin Stubbs said...

run(s)!

Hideo Nomo said...

Productive out!

rbnlaw said...

#littleball

Franklin Stubbs said...

I'll take it under the circumstances.

Hideo Nomo said...

Walk Cruz to get to the guy that hit a grand slam on Friday.

Orel said...

A.J. made 'em pay!

Franklin Stubbs said...

and again!

Cliff Beefpile said...

Whaddup bishes! Happy Opening Day to all!

Remind me to write a strongly-worded letter to the asshole who decided to schedule classes at my school on Opening Day.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Man, there was no doubt at that Kershaw homer. BOOM!

Franklin Stubbs said...

Damn, and I was crossing by fingers for the Kershaw Grand Slam.

Hideo Nomo said...

Only 53,138. Because of the missing seats?

Franklin Stubbs said...

The fat lady sings, Arias

Cliff Beefpile said...

Fuck you, Pagan. Swarthy bastard.

Hideo Nomo said...

Ugh. Pagan.

rbnlaw said...

1 to go, Kersh.

Spank said...

almost there

rbnlaw said...

Ouch! Ryan Ludwick.

Hideo Nomo said...

Stay on target...

rbnlaw said...

Fuck this panda up.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Looks like Panda ate the Giants' Gatorade cooler.

rbnlaw said...

1 down, 161 to go.

Neeebs said...

Party in the USA.

Suck it Gnats

Spank said...

That's a wrap. Great game Kid K!

Franklin Stubbs said...

CGSO for you, ya bastads.

rbnlaw said...

WE MAKE OPENING DAY PARTY!

Cliff Beefpile said...

First place!

QuadSevens said...

Woohoo!

karina said...

WE MAKE PARTY!

Hideo Nomo said...

MAKE THAT PARTY MUHFUGGERS!!!!

Franklin Stubbs said...

Best record in baseball, fools.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Wait, why the hell are the Angels playing the Reds?

Franklin Stubbs said...

15-team leagues will do that.

MR.F said...

WE MAKE OPENING DAY PARTY!!

Hideo Nomo said...

Not quite 700 comments, but I blame the brisk pace of the game.

Y'all were in FINE form.

Franklin Stubbs said...

Yankees: Lost
Dodgers: Won
Giants: Lost
Angels: On the clock

Come on, opening day sweep!

Franklin Stubbs said...

Yep, not bad for the first GT of the season.

I missed you guys *sniff*

Cliff Beefpile said...

Math is hard.

Jason said...

Yes, yes, so many times yes!

Steve Sax said...

Idiot giants fan behind me says the dodgers will have trouble on offense. He has no idea he scored ZERO runs today

Orel said...

HYMFPGTUP!

Betsy said...

I guess they just showed us what "chemistry" gets you. Party Time!!!!

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