Uribe Not Exactly Springing Forward

You know who wasn't on Deadspin's Spring Training Weight Gain / Loss Chart earlier this week ("Cardio And Pooping: A Chart Of Every MLB Player Who Reportedly Lost Or Gained Weight This Offseason (And Why)")? 230-pound Juan Uribe, that's who. And not to alarm you, but our very own android-shaped third baseman is not exactly lighting up this spring. Through 10 games:

• AVG: .111 (1-for-9)
• OBP: .333
• TB: 1
• K: 3
• BB: 2

Considering Uribe is coming off a horrific 2011 campaign (Uribe batted .306 in the spring, followed by a dismal .204 in the regular season), I was really hoping that he would come back for 2012 re-energized and ready for action. Instead, in the Uribe at bats I've seen this spring, he looks incredibly lost at the plate.

Ken Gurnick said, "The imagination can run wild with scenarios should Uribe flop again, especially with a new owner providing the resources to make a midseason acquisition for an upcoming free agent like David Wright. But to start the season, it's Uribe or bust."

Why do I have this sinking feeling it's "bust"?