Clayton Kershaw (6-3, 3.28) vs. Brad Penny (5-5, 4.93).
Jabba the Hutt is a suitable metaphor for Penny, reflecting not only Penny's large girth but also his despicable behavior following his departure from the Dodgers, clearing out his locker early following an injury-plagued 2008 season (his last with the Dodgers), and firebombing relations with then-Dodgers coach Larry Bowa.
Penny came back in 2009 as a Giant and beat Chad Billingsley up in SF, but got hammered the following week in LA, lasting only 2.2 IP and giving up three HR..
Since then, Penny rolled on and off the DL (literally) for the Cardinals in 2010 (we missed seeing him that year, as a result), as well as got engaged to a Ukrainian ballroom dancer who posed for Playboy (May 2011), has two lateral chins, and a last name like a cheap vodka. And now Penny's a Tiger, with one win in his last five starts, making a rare interleague appearance against the Dodgers. (Accuscore has us as a 61% likely winner tonight.)
But no, I'm not obsessing about seeing this guy again, salivating over the opportunity to get back at Penny in spades. Really, I should be more respectful of our two-time All-Star's return to Chavez Ravine, welcoming him with open arms and warm wishes. Looking forward to seeing you tonight, Brad!