Clayton Kershaw (6-3, 3.28) vs. Brad Penny (5-5, 4.93).
Jabba the Hutt is a suitable metaphor for Penny, reflecting not only Penny's large girth but also his despicable behavior following his departure from the Dodgers, clearing out his locker early following an injury-plagued 2008 season (his last with the Dodgers), and firebombing relations with then-Dodgers coach Larry Bowa.
Penny came back in 2009 as a Giant and beat Chad Billingsley up in SF, but got hammered the following week in LA, lasting only 2.2 IP and giving up three HR..
Since then, Penny rolled on and off the DL (literally) for the Cardinals in 2010 (we missed seeing him that year, as a result), as well as got engaged to a Ukrainian ballroom dancer who posed for Playboy (May 2011), has two lateral chins, and a last name like a cheap vodka. And now Penny's a Tiger, with one win in his last five starts, making a rare interleague appearance against the Dodgers. (Accuscore has us as a 61% likely winner tonight.)
But no, I'm not obsessing about seeing this guy again, salivating over the opportunity to get back at Penny in spades. Really, I should be more respectful of our two-time All-Star's return to Chavez Ravine, welcoming him with open arms and warm wishes. Looking forward to seeing you tonight, Brad!
102 comments:
D sandwich, extra sauce
I would have let it go if he could have kept his fat yap shut (incoming or outgoing)
Good news is if he shuts the Dodgers down he is just like every other pitcher!! Ha ha joke is on you Braaad.
Mrs. S was BAFFLED by the list of women attached to Penny at one time or another.
He's got the kavorka.
@Josh:
Let her be baffled. It gives us meat and potato guys hope. (Oh, a $5+ million salary also helps.)
I just got a David Ortiz badge (badge #140). I am not sure whether I should feel happy or sad.
No KCAL,Vinny!
Pulling up a chair, Vinny!
Rummaging in the liquor cabinet, Vinny!
Well Penny does have a great personality.
What the hell is with Uribe in the two-spot already?
I have a great personality and I can say I love you in Russian.
Everytime I see Marcus Thames in the line-up it makes me feel a little hopeless.
Prove me wrong, Marcus!
Brad's head looks like it met the wrong end of a wood chipper.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
God bless you, schadenfreude.
Urine goes deep!!
Screw you, Brad!
Found our 2 hitter.
Mattingly is a genius!!!
Urine!
I can say I want Taco Bell in spanish.
I can say take off your clothes, Brad Penny, in Spanish.
I <3 Urine!
@Neeebs
I will have horrible night terrors now.
KKKKershaw
I'm tellin' ya, Kid K's charity is gonna be rolling in it.
@Neeebs--Now I've got bad, bad visions dancing in my head
@Paul: You've had night terrors ever since Flaming Menudos' Quit Clowning Around was banned in Mongolia.
@Karen: Just think of Penny and Urine mud wrestling. That'll cure those demons.
@Neeebs--Yikes!
Which, coincidentally is exactly what got the Flaming Menudos banned in Mongolia. I told you guys not to put that in the video.
But we covered up the superfluous body hair as per Mongolian custom.
I thought the Flaming Menudos got banned in Mongolia for the mishandling of their beef on stage. Mongolian beef that is.
That is satisfactory.
The mud ruined my sequenced cape. Good thing I had hundreds more.
Atta boy Dinner!
Damn Dinner! Nice throw.
The meat are inheriting the Dodgers.
@Spanks: That was our first ban, not the second. Paul insisted that we go back because he was dating a Mongel princess at the time.
I am stuck with watching the Detroit channel. Not Vinny but always enjoy it.
Koekcin!!! She never accepted my affiliation with the Korean National Assembly.
So I see we'll be getting Albert Pujols on the cheap this offseason?
(cries)
We could probably afford to resign Furcal.
Two on for Dinner.
Ducks on the pond.
When was the last time Dre got a hit?
Two on for Matty. Do it!
Other than the first inning?
Kemp is a bum!
Vote Uribe!
Oh Shit. My bad,Mr.C. I was not around for that.
Gordon
Urine
Ethier
Kemp
1B
Thames
Dinner
Ackbar
Kershaw
I feel much better now.
Darn. I was hoping Penny was out of the game.
Good thing Penny hasn't had to leave.
THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T FUCKING BUNT
Dinner is hot and ready to eat.
Holy shit, run Loney from second with Dioner at the plate and a 1-2 count? That was unexpected!
2-0 LA
@Mr LA SC 8:07p: dammit, you stole my post idea for tomorrow. Nice.
@Sax - That's what I'm here for.
BTW, if you have widescreen, you can see Larry King behind the backstop on the third base side.
The kid is dealing.
This GBA was better in theory.
I liked it! Nice and simple.
It sounded like Bob Dylan in a wind tunnel.
That felt like a Willie Nelson concert.
A rabbit is loose!
Rabbit soup.
Clayton Kershaw is good at baseball.
We don't let them score we have a chance at winning. Problem solved.
Ugh. Stop bunting!
See, you don't have to bunt now.
Wow, a gift!
Condolences to Tim Wallach's family on the passing of his father...on Fathers Day no less
Uh, same as the bunt, I guess.
Yay Gwynn
K
(oh man we aren't going to score here, are we? Man that would suck.)
Dioner IBB
Wonders never cease
Detroit, you just intentionally walked Dioner Fucking Navarro, a sub-.200 hitter, to get to MSB, batting over .300.
I mean, I know this loads the bases, but...MAKE THEM PAY, MSB!
Come on Ackbar! Position all firepower towards the starship destroyer.
Carroll just got schooled by Benoit's balls
It's definitely a trap.
A Kershaw HR would be awesome beyond belief right here
A Kershaw K would suck the big one, however
I'd dry hump my dad if Kershaw hits a grand slam.
2-2 count to Minotaur
This will not end well
Color me surprised!
He can hit too!
Kershaw for President!
What a stud you are, Clayton.
Two run dribbler!!!
K
E
R
S
H
A
W
!
!
!
KID!
epale everyone!
if you adore Kershaw, raise your hands
*raises both hands and legs*
Epale, Sistuh!
My arms are tired.
Kershaw the stud.
KID K!!!
Dodgers win two in a row!
What is this watery substance coming out of my eyes?
hello sistah!
WE MAKE PARTY!
Hot Tiger fan alert.
100!
Damn you KCAL and your lack of a post-game show.
PGTUP!
Tried to screencap the hot Tiger fan, but my DVR started recording "Nurse Jackie." Sorry, guys!
We avoid the bullpen and subsequently make party!
Mr C, there is a causal relationship in there, methinks.
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