Sometimes it seems like SI's journalists are just phoning it in. In a recent "Pop Culture Grid" column, SI asked the A's Jack Cust, the Wild's Eric Belanger, and the D-Backs' Bill Murphy what pet they'd most like to own. The unanimous answer: a monkey. Uh, duh. That's like asking "What's your favorite Right Said Fred song?" or "Which former N'Sync member gets the highest-quality tail?"
Enough with these softballs. Let's pose the question everyone is thinking but nobody has the balls to ask: Which fictional cartoon monkey kicks the most ass?
Here are the five candidates, in reverse chronological order:
| Fictional Cartoon Monkey |
Debut Vehicle, Year |
Monkey's BFF |
Sample Ass-Kicking |
 1. Donkey Kong |
Donkey Kong video game, 1981 |
His son, Junior |
Skillfully re-shaped public image from imperialistic villian in Donkey Kong to sympathetic victim in Donkey Kong Junior |
 2. Grape Ape |
TV series Tom and Jerry Show, 1975 |
His alliterative driver, Beegle Beagle |
Continues to perform acts of kindness despite battling society's pre-conceptions regarding 40-foot purple apes |
 3. Chim-Chim |
TV series Speed Racer, 1967 |
Speed's little brother, Spritle |
Once found a dead hooker in the trunk of Speed's car |
4. Curious George |
Children's book Curious George, 1941 |
The Man in the Yellow Hat |
He's a rock star |
5. Sun Wukong
(a.k.a. The Monkey King) |
Epic Chinese novel Journey to the West, c. 1690 |
The India-bound wandering monk Xuanzang |
Can leap 108,000 miles, lift 15,000 lbs, transform into 72 different objects, command the wind, and is impervious to fire |
*Yes, I know some technically aren't monkeys. Hey, it's a frickin' survey about cartoon character primates on an LA Dodgers blog. Get over it.
2. Grape Ape
10 comments:
Grape Ape was on the Tom and Jerry Show? What?
Well, it was the Tom and Jerry/Grape Ape show before Grape Ape spun off in 1977 -
I hear Grape Ape was the Andrew Ridgeley to Tom & Jerry's George Michael.
EK, how you could exclude Gleek from the Wonder Twins? Zan and Jayna emailed me last night and they are PISSED OFF.
If I were you, I'd be careful around water forms (both solid and liquid).
I voted for Grape Ape
Thanks for the input Alex. And say hi to Mallory.
And Sax - in the world of shapeshifting monkeys, Gleek ain't bad but he has nothing on the Monkey King.
What about the monkey in MONKEY TOUBLE with Harvey Keitel?
Well then what about Harvey Keitel's monkey in Bad Lieutenant?
Trust me, I stayed far away from Monkey Trouble for that very reason.
Alas, the Selection Committee can't ever please everyone, whether it be the NCAA's or the FCMA 's (Fictional Cartoon Monkey Association).
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