Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Ask an Advice Columnist, Get a Blogger

From yesterday's "Ask Amy" advice column:

Dear Amy: I have been married to a wonderful man for five years. He adores me and treats me like a queen. He cooks dinner for me, pays a maid to clean the house, takes me on trips, etc. All of my single friends wish they could find someone like him.

We just had a baby. He adores her just as much as he adores me. Most women would die for my life.

My problem is I think I would be more compatible with someone else.

I honestly think I want to be married to a pro athlete. I love sports and have loved sports my entire life. I'm not one of those girls who just watches basketball, football or baseball because she is trying to impress her man. I truly love sports and would prefer to be married to an athlete.

I've been approached by pro football and pro basketball players, but I have turned them down because I am married. Now I regret turning them down.

One football player in particular pursued me for a while. I ran into him recently, and the sparks are still there, even though we both are married.

We didn't agree to hook up or anything, but we had the same reaction when we saw each other.

I'm so confused. I know the grass is always greener on the other side, but somehow I believe my husband might be better off with a woman who is truly into him and not just going through the motions.

Should I stay or go?

-- Confused

Dear Shallow Twit,

So you want to forsake the ingredients for a lifetime of happiness—things some people spend their lives searching for—because you have a jock fetish? What exactly about professional athletes attracts you? The fact that they're on the road for half the year constantly besieged by smokin'-hot groupies who will do anything for their attention? Maybe it's the track record of debilitating injuries that can hamper the quality of life of their later years (a football specialty!).

But the smartest thing you've done is to have a baby. That way, an innocent child can be damaged by the tension in your marriage—if it lasts much longer—as long as indulging your ego in this trite fantasy turns you into a spouse just "going through the motions." Congratulations!

Best,
Orel
Sons of Steve Garvey

13 comments:

Eric Karros said...

What's the deal with the photo?

Orel said...

Okay, everyone is confused by the photo. Does the (new) picture name help?

Eric Karros said...

Very helpful, yes. I wonder if it's Suzy Kolber writing in.

Whoever it is, she certainly seems shallow, but you have to at least give her some credit for seeking advice and for not having done anything to this point.

Orel said...

If this is a real letter, then she's just looking for permission to bail on her family.

Delino DeShields said...

I hope she gets Kobe'd by one of them (my new verb involving a specific type of act unpleasant to most)

Steve Sax said...

1) Isn't this what all of Tom Brady's future hook-ups say?

2) Is the picture related to Muddy?

Steve Sax said...

Wow, Delino, such angst. You need some counseling.

Eric Karros said...

I’m certainly not condoning infidelity, but she hasn’t committed that (at least not yet). But I guess I wouldn’t judge her quite so absolutely. What if instead it were a married guy frequently hit on by WNBA players – er, let’s say supermodels – but who thusfar had stayed faithful? Would he deserve the same harsh judgment for feeling severely tempted? Remember, your Adriana Lima is another person’s Tony Siragusa.

She is clearly trying to justify leaving by suggesting the husband would be better off...but she might also be right. But yeah, having the kid was real stupid.

That's right folks, SoSG now has a full service panel of advice columnists at your disposal!

Rob said...

Very helpful, yes. I wonder if it's Suzy Kolber writing in.

No, it's Carolyn Hughes (and apologies for the cheap blogwhoring).

Rob said...

I hope she gets Kobe'd by one of them (my new verb involving a specific type of act unpleasant to most)

Apparently not original to SOSG (see definition 2).

Orel said...

Link all you want, Rob.

If it were a guy considering leaving a loving wife and kid because he "prefers to be married to a model"? Same harsh judgment.

Steve Sax said...

EK, in response to your hypothetical, I can attest that it is indeed difficult not to be tempted when frequently being accosted by supermodels.

Rob said...

Wait. "Frequently accosted" and "by supermodels" appeared in the same sentence without any modifications.