From yesterday's "Ask Amy" advice column:
Dear Amy: I have been married to a wonderful man for five years. He adores me and treats me like a queen. He cooks dinner for me, pays a maid to clean the house, takes me on trips, etc. All of my single friends wish they could find someone like him.
We just had a baby. He adores her just as much as he adores me. Most women would die for my life.
My problem is I think I would be more compatible with someone else.
I honestly think I want to be married to a pro athlete. I love sports and have loved sports my entire life. I'm not one of those girls who just watches basketball, football or baseball because she is trying to impress her man. I truly love sports and would prefer to be married to an athlete.
I've been approached by pro football and pro basketball players, but I have turned them down because I am married. Now I regret turning them down.
One football player in particular pursued me for a while. I ran into him recently, and the sparks are still there, even though we both are married.
We didn't agree to hook up or anything, but we had the same reaction when we saw each other.
I'm so confused. I know the grass is always greener on the other side, but somehow I believe my husband might be better off with a woman who is truly into him and not just going through the motions.
Should I stay or go?
Dear Shallow Twit,
So you want to forsake the ingredients for a lifetime of happiness—things some people spend their lives searching for—because you have a jock fetish? What exactly about professional athletes attracts you? The fact that they're on the road for half the year constantly besieged by smokin'-hot groupies who will do anything for their attention? Maybe it's the track record of debilitating injuries that can hamper the quality of life of their later years (a football specialty!).
But the smartest thing you've done is to have a baby. That way, an innocent child can be damaged by the tension in your marriage—if it lasts much longer—as long as indulging your ego in this trite fantasy turns you into a spouse just "going through the motions." Congratulations!
Sons of Steve Garvey