Sunday, July 01, 2012

At-Game Recap: Complete Impotence (June 30, 2012)

The worst part about last night's game, which I unfortunately saw in person (oaxacan grasshoppers in hand!), was that you could tell we didn't have a snowball's chance in hell at getting a run on the board. Dee Gordon started out the evening with a squibby hit to right, which looked promising. Then he stole second to get into scoring position with one out. From there, he was stranded. And that was the best shot we had for the next seven innings.

Sure, there was a threat in the eighth inning, when .175 hitter Scott Van Slyke made it all the way to third base and probably didn't recognize third-base coach Tim Wallach. But that was it then, too.

We left early, I admit (kids in tow, man! what can you do?). But at some point during the eighth inning, even I had to give the kids the iPhone so they could watch a movie. I hate doing that in general. But with this team on the field, why not? There's more action in a Buzz Lightyear cartoon than there is on the field.

Gordon's first inning hit? That was his only one of the game (1-for-4, now batting .225 in the leadoff spot). And yes, he tried to bunt again later on in the game, despite the fact that his bunting sucks donkey balls. And yes, he was thrown out, again. STOP BUNTING, DEE. WHAT THE FUCK?

Van Slyke went 1-for-3 with a GIDP. Tony Gwynn Jr. got the Dodgers' only other hit of the game. Oh, and Gordon and A.J. Ellis each had errors, to boot.

We look awful out there. Simply horrible. I couldn't even take pictures of the evening.

So let's reset. We've dropped 11 of our last 12, but we are out of first place by only a game. The truth is, if we had played .500 ball in that stretch, we'd be up by four games. This team isn't far from first place, especially given all the guns we're hoping to get back in the lineup and / or sign.

But man, you watch evenings like last night, up close and personal, and you wonder if we'll ever see scoring again.

At least there was some dry humping with DelinO and Dusty Baker (separate sessions, of course). That was good. (And Dusty liked the grasshoppers. DelinO didn't take the plunge.)


Delino DeShields, Sr said...

Yeah.. dry. Right.

Dusty Baker said...

Were those grasshoppers or crickets, for the record?

I liked them.

BJ Killeen said...

What's worse than the Dodgers losing again? Having to watch them on ESPN instead of Prime Ticket. No Vinny, and no announcers who know anything about the team...

Steve Sax said...

@Dusty: The restaurant said grasshoppers, I believe.